


Sanditon- A Hypothetical Season 2

by MirethGuilbain



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 76,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirethGuilbain/pseuds/MirethGuilbain
Summary: An attempt to resolve the cliffhanger of Sanditon Season 1, while staying as true as possible to the times and style of Jane Austen. Mostly focusing on Charlotte and Sidney, and how to bring them together for the happy ending they deserve.
Comments: 305
Kudos: 409





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_**Willingden** _

"Charlotte, good heavens! Where have you been walking all this time?" Mrs. Heywood exclaimed, looking up from her needlework upon the entrance of her eldest daughter.

"Forgive me, Mamma. I delivered the soup and basket to the Hollises, as you requested, and stayed to visit for a small while. I suppose I lost track of time on my walk home, enjoying the familiar environs of Willingden as much as I was. I did not realize how much I had missed the comforts of home, being gone only two months to Sanditon," Charlotte replied, removing her pelisse and sitting down to help her mother.

"Very well, child. I suppose one must make allowances for your having been gone, though I am unused to my practical, capable Charlotte 'losing track of time'. It was most unlike you, dearest."

"I am sorry, Mamma, truly I am. It will not happen again."

Charlotte bent her head to focus on her needlework. Despite having a pretty property and comfortable income, raising 12 children created quite a fair amount of mending and sewing to keep them properly clothed. Charlotte had forgotten how much work there was to do at home, and how satisfying it was to have tasks to complete. The novelty of Sanditon, of balls and cricket and regattas, had almost made her forget the simple pleasures of being useful in small ways to those she loved. "Practical, capable Charlotte" had a more appealing sound than "a farmer's daughter who likes to read". ' _I should not let that woman remain in my head,'_ Charlotte reprimanded herself. It did not good to dwell on the spiteful barbs of Mrs. Campion, any more than to allow herself to dwell on the hopes she had built around Mr. Sidney Parker. _'I have much to be thankful for, and a bruised heart does not mean I shall never be happy. My feelings for him shall pass._ ' Charlotte sincerely hoped that if she reminded herself of this often enough, it would begin to feel more true. In the week she had been home at Willingden, she had not yet felt the healing effects of time and distance.

_**London** _

"Sidney darling, would you be kind enough to fetch me a cordial?" Mrs. Eliza Campion's voice broke through Sidney's thoughts. He realized that he had been quite unaware of his surroundings, once again, and gave Eliza and their companions a rueful half-smile.

"Forgive me, my mind appears to have wandered off. How tedious for matters of business to intrude on such a delightful evening! Might I fetch a cordial for anyone else?" Staying long enough to receive negative replies, Sidney inclined his head in a parting nod to Eliza and her friends, and made his way to the refreshments, winding his way past the throngs of well-dressed gentlemen and colourfully gowned ladies attending Lady Sinclair's annual summer musicale. The music had been rather good this year, though Sidney had most appreciated the chance to attend an event without being required to speak to anyone for long period of time. He found it took more effort to smile and smirk and make witty remarks than he had ever found it before, and that making those around him laugh was an unusually empty feeling. He had given his word, though, to make Eliza happy, and Eliza loved parties and society. He must get used to London again, and forget that he had begun to think a different sort of life might be truer to his needs.

Gathering his thoughts once again, Sidney gathered a cordial from the table, and turned to return to Eliza. Upon recognizing the lady standing directly behind him, he bowed courteously, and offered her the cordial instead.

"Good evening, Lady Worchester," he said, holding out the small glass, "I assume you are in need of refreshment?"

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Parker," Lady Worchester replied, nodding in acknowledgment of his greeting. "You have anticipated me." She took a small sip of her cordial, and looked up at Sidney, making no move to leave immediately. "I assume Mrs. Campion accompanies you this evening?"

"Indeed, my lady. She is across the room, with Lady Barnes and Miss Barnes. Might I escort you over to her?"

"No, no need for that. If I wanted to speak with her, I could easily cross the room myself. I am more interested in speaking with you."

"With me, my lady? How might I be of service to you?"

"Oh, I doubt you could be of any _service_ to me, Mr. Parker! But you are of considerable _interest_ to me."

Sidney raised an eyebrow, intrigued by a woman of Lady Worchester's social standing having any interest in him. "Do go on, Lady Worchester," he replied, his eyes twinkling as a hint of smile briefly appeared, "I will not be able to sleep tonight without knowing how I might be of interest to you."

"I was so very surprised, you see, to read the announcement in the paper a fortnight ago, of your engagement to Mrs. Campion." Lady Worchester answered, meeting his gaze and returning his look with a raised eyebrow of her own.

"Were you?" Sidney murmured, wondering with some unease where this conversation was leading. He had not forgotten that Lady Worchester had taken an uncommon interest in Miss Heywood, and did not trust himself to speak her name with indifference. "I was unaware that you were acquainted with Eliza."

"I met her at Sanditon, at your brother's regatta. Do you not recall? We spoke of marriage and suitability, with yourself and Miss Heywood."

There it was. _Miss Heywood._ Even the sound of her name brought both pleasure and pain. Sidney did not know what Lady Worchester was about with this topic of conversation, but was convinced it could lead nowhere that Sidney wished to go.

"Of course, how could I have forgotten?" Sidney coolly responded, the twinkle gone from his eyes. "Given that Mrs. Campion was with me at the regatta all those weeks ago, I do not know why the announcement of our engagement should have come as a surprise to you."

"I mean no slight against the lady, you know. She is everything elegant and lovely. I had only thought, when we were all at Sanditon, that your affections were engaged…elsewhere. I confess, I had hoped to make a match between you and a young friend of mine." Lady Worchester looked at Sidney directly, her meaning clear. Sidney realized that, if the conversation were on a different topic, he might rather like Lady Worchester's frankness. He knew that he ought not continue this conversation, that the dictates of polite society would have him deny affection for anyone other than Eliza, and yet…the impulse to unburden his heart and acknowledge the difficulty of the decision he had made was overpowering.

"Lady Worchester, I fear any attempt to dissemble is futile," he finally replied. "Yet you cannot truly expect me to say out loud what you wish me to."

Lady Worchester smiled fully, for the first time in their conversation. "No, I suppose you cannot, can you, Mr. Parker? I have put you in quite an awkward situation, have I not?"

"It is a situation I have put myself in, my lady. There was no way to avoid it, and duty and honour require that I see it through."

"We are no longer speaking of this evening's conversation, are we, Mr. Parker?"

"As I have said, dissembling before you is futile. Now, if you will excuse me, Lady Worchester, I fear Mrs. Campion has long been awaiting her cordial." Sidney bowed deeply, took another glass from the table, and made his way through the throng back to his betrothed. Lady Worchester watched him walk away, a slight frown on her face, and sipped her cordial.

"My goodness, Sidney! It has taken you an age to return to me with my refreshment!" Eliza scolded, a smile on her face to take away any sting. It was the smile that Sidney was coming to think of as her 'society smile', the one that lacked any true humour or mirth in it. He much preferred her true smile, though he saw it far less than he remembered from 10 years ago.

"My deepest apologies, Eliza. I was obliged to assist Lady Worchester, whom it would not do to slight in any way," Sidney replied.

"Goodness, no! You were quite right to help her in any way, Sidney. No one carries as much influence amongst the _ton_ as Lady Worchester! I had hoped that our acquaintance with her would grow further after the Sanditon regatta, but she was not at home when I attempted to call upon her last week. A friendship with Lady Worchester would be such a coup! Why, have you heard…" Eliza's voice went on, sharing the details of the latest gossip about Lady W, but Sidney could not attend to it. His thoughts kept returning to the interesting conversation he had just had with the lady. Why would she make such a point of telling him she was disappointed in his choice of wife? Lady W knew quite well that marriage was more often a matter of business than love…and that once a gentleman had pledged his hand, it matter not if his heart were pledged elsewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**London**

_Dear Eliza,_

_Please accept my deepest apologies, but I am unable to accompany you to the theatre tomorrow evening. I find myself obliged to go to Sanditon, to visit with my ward, Miss Lambe. I hope to return in three days time._

_Yours, etc.,_

_Sidney_

"You have a caller, Mr. Parker. Mrs. Campion requests a few moments of your time. She is in the drawing room."

Sidney sighed. He had hoped to have timed his note to Eliza so that she would be unable to ambush him before he left town. It appeared he was not so fortunate. "Tell her I shall be down directly."

"Very well, sir."

Sidney finished organizing his papers, neither dawdling nor rushing to join his intended. He anticipated that she would not agree with his decision regarding Miss Lambe, and was not looking forward to the inevitable discussion. As he made his way to the drawing room, he reminded himself of the very sound logic and steady principles behind his decision, and determined to not allow Eliza to sway him.

"Good afternoon, Eliza," he greeted her, making sure to keep his tone warm. "I was not expecting the pleasure of seeing you today."

"Sidney, really! You send me a note informing me that you must suddenly leave town, and are surprised to see me? The theatre, Sidney! How will it look if I am there alone? What will people say?" Eliza's lovely blue eyes widened in alarm, as she imagined the spiteful gossip that Sidney's absence from her side might engender.

"I imagine people will say that Mr. Sidney Parker must have been called away on business, and then carry on with their evening," Sidney replied calmly.

"You know perfectly well that some people will say nothing of the sort. Why must you go _now_ to see Miss Lambe? Surely the girl can wait a few days. She hardly has any pressing demands on _her_ time in Sanditon."

"I am not sure that I can agree with you, my dear, that the theatre is a pressing demand on _my_ time. I go to see Miss Lambe now because she is my ward, I have not seen her in two weeks, and it is the right thing to do."

"What nonsense, Sidney! How do you expect to maintain our place in society if we are _not_ seen at the theatre? Being 'called away on business' sounds so…so…ordinary. And if you have not seen Miss Lambe in two weeks, what does another two days signify?"

Sidney sighed softly. "I am honour-bound to look out for Miss Lambe, and it is a responsibility that I have come to take seriously. Two days can be a great deal, when a young lady is alone, far from home, with no family. In fact, Eliza, I go to Sanditon to make some changes to Miss Lambe's situation."

Eliza narrowed her eyes slightly. She did not like the look of polite resolve on Sidney's face, nor care for his calm dismissal of the importance of being seen at the theatre. She had never had much difficult convincing Mr. Campion to go along with her wishes, and was beginning to feel uneasy that Sidney would not be quite so easy to manage. "What changes do you mean?"

Sidney paused, considering his words carefully. "I have come to think that it is not right for Miss Lambe to be so isolated in Sanditon. I had my reasons for removing her from London, but I now deem it best for her to reside here, where I can better look after her. I will be removing her from Mrs. Griffiths care, and taking a home for her with a Mrs. Annesley. She comes with an excellent recommendation, and I believe will be a far more suitable companion for Georgiana."

"Miss Lambe in London! Is that really necessary, Sidney? Only think of the scandal she might cause!"

"Scandal is possible anywhere, Eliza. I make this decision based on what is best for Georgiana's happiness. She is not happy in Sanditon, and I do not like being so far away."

"It did not seem to bother you to be far away for the last several months. Why the change now?"

Sidney paused. He could hardly tell Eliza that he was determined to be his best self away from Miss Heywood, to be a man she could be proud of. How did a man tell his fiancée that the voice of his conscience was now that of another woman? "I have had the past several months to reconsider the terms of my relationship with Miss Lambe," he responded slowly, "and I have reached the conclusion that the present arrangement is neither beneficial to her wellbeing nor a credit to my honour as a gentleman and her guardian."

Eliza dropped her eyes to the ground, weighing the benefit of trying to carry her point. Perhaps it would be best for Sidney to believe he had convinced her, and then work on him after he returned. She looked up, and gave him a gentle smile. "I cannot argue with you, Sidney. Whatever you deem best must be sensible and right," she replied. She saw Sidney's shoulders relax slightly, and smiled more fully. Yes, this would be best. Men just needed to be flattered and cossetted into a different way of thinking. It would not do to try to convince him with her own opinions.

**Sanditon**

"Miss Lambe," Crocket knocked on her door, entering upon hearing her mistress's reply, "Miss Lambe, Mr. Parker has come. I'm to bring you to him."

Georgiana rolled her eyes, but stood up to follow her maid to the sitting room. Sidney had been an infrequent visitor since Lord Babbington's wedding, but he did consistently turn up and make a point to visit her and ask how she did. In his last visit, he had brought books from London, and had asked her if there was anything in particular she wished for him to bring her next time. She wondered if he really would bring her the chocolates she had requested. She did not particularly want them, but it would be interesting to see if he kept his word. There was a strange change in Sidney, almost a gentleness, that had never characterized their interactions before, and she did not know what to make of him. It was hard to keep hating him, when he gave her so little new cause, but actually liking him seemed impossible. Still, he was at least better company than those idiot Beaufort sisters.

"Good day, Sidney," she said pleasantly, upon entering the room. She was amused that he stood and actually treated her with proper courtesy. As though gentlemanlike manners made him a true gentleman.

"Good day, Georgiana. I trust you are well?"

"If one considers bored senseless to be well, then yes."

Sidney smiled slightly. At least with Georgiana, he never had to wonder what she was thinking or feeling. It was refreshing, after the insipidity of London ladies. "I am sorry to hear you are bored, but not surprised. Indeed, your opinion of your current situation is largely the reason for my call today." He motioned her to sit, seating himself in an armchair once she was comfortably settled. She could not help but notice a beribboned box of chocolates resting on the side table, though he made no effort to actually give them to her.

Georgiana raised her eyebrows, smirking as she considered his choice of words. "I do not recall that my 'opinion of my current situation' has ever mattered before. Why should it bring you here now?"

"You are quite right. I have not given your opinion the consideration you perhaps deserved. For that you have my apology. I have been thinking on your stay in Sanditon, however, and wonder what your opinion might be of returning to London?"

Georgiana's mouth opened, before she recollected herself and schooled her expression. What was he about? Returning to London? "I was under the impression that I could not be trusted in London," she replied cautiously.

"I was under the impression that you could not be, as well," Sidney returned. He paused, looking down briefly, and then smiling as though at a private thought. "I have been asking myself whether a good person should be punished forever for making one bad choice. Perhaps you have grown wiser since your experiences with Mr. Molyneux? I hope that I have," he explained, dropping his voice at the end.

Georgiana's curiosity and astonishment grew. This was a Mr. Sidney Parker she had never met, and she could hardly bring herself to trust that this could possibly turn out well. Yet staying in sleepy Sanditon with those mindless nitwit sisters was hardly a palatable option. "Do you truly mean it? My penance is over?" she asked breathlessly.

Sidney could not help but be amused by her phrasing. "Yes, Miss Lambe, I believe it is. Unless you have any further intentions of running off with men I do not approve of?" He kept his tone gentle, knowing she still felt the pain of Mr. Molyneux's betrayal.

Georgiana's eyes dimmed. Hard as it was to attribute anything positive to Sidney, she had started wondering if perhaps some of her heartache was of her own creation. Had she heeded his warnings, would she have fallen in love with Otis? She certainly would not have ended up sold to that horrid, horrid Mr. Howard. She had been blaming Sidney for his abrasiveness and unfeeling handling of her situation that she had hardly acknowledged the possibility that he had solid grounds for refusing Otis's suit.

"Georgiana? I am sorry if my mention of him has pained you. It is not my intention to berate you further than I have already done." Sidney's voice intruded on her thoughts, reminding her that she had given him no answer. She drew a breath, and looked him in the eye.

"No, I…I have no intention of running off." Georgiana struggled to find the words that she knew must finally be said. "I have never thanked you for rescuing me and bringing me back to London."

Sidney looked at her with astonishment. This was hardly the conversation he had expected to have with Miss Lambe. "You have no need to thank me. I have been a miserable guardian so far, but I am fairly certain that saving you from ruin and certain misery is part and parcel with the job."

Sidney stood, and walked to the window. Georgiana looked at her hands, and played with her bracelets. The atmosphere in the room grew awkward, neither of them certain of what to say to the other, or how to navigate the unusual circumstance of speaking without acrimony. Sidney cleared his throat, and tried to turn the conversation back to more comfortable terrain. "Right, as I was saying. If it meets with your approval, I wish for you to return to London. I have taken a house for you not two streets away from Bedford Street, and engaged a Mrs. Annesley for you as a companion. She seems a very genteel, kind-hearted woman, and I hope you will do well together."

"I am to leave Mrs. Griffiths? And the Beauforts?" Georgiana could not believe her luck.

"That is my plan, yes. Unless you wish to remain with them?"

"No!" Georgiana yelped. Sidney laughed aloud, surprising them both. She flushed, and then tried again. "I mean, I should be delighted to meet Mrs. Annesley. I am sure a change of companion will be good for my education."

"Very well then," Sidney replied, a twinkle still in his eye. Georgiana's reaction convinced him that he was right to remove her from Sanditon. Perhaps making amends with his recalcitrant ward was not so far-fetched as it once seemed. "How quickly do you wish to pack?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Sanditon**

No sooner had Mr. Parker left Mrs. Griffiths did Georgiana grab a fresh sheet of paper, and begin a letter to Charlotte. She could hardly write from her excitement, and had no other friend with whom she could truly share her delight.

_Sanditon_

_7 Aug 1819_

_My dear Charlotte,_

_I take up my pen to communicate the most astonishing news. You will never believe it, but I am to be freed from my prison! Mr. Sidney Parker has determined to remove me to London, and form a new establishment for me closer to Bedford Street. Can you believe it? I am even to leave behind Gorgon Griffiths and the prattling Beauforts. I will have a new companion- a Mrs. Annesley- but as long as she does not spout Scripture at me all day, while making calf's eyes at the vicar, I cannot help but be optimistic that it will prove a good change. I am so astonished that I can hardly write!_

_We have decided that I will remain in Sanditon for one last week. One more dreary week in this miserable village, and then I will be free! I could laugh from the joy of it. The only good thing to have come from my sojourn here will have been my friendship with you. Is there no chance of ever seeing you in London? Mr. Sidney seems more open to my opinion and wishes recently, perhaps he would entertain a request to invite you to stay with Mrs. Annesley and me? Tell me what you think, and I would be happy to suggest it._

_I will write again from London with my new direction as soon as I am settled, and then you can send me your answer. I long to hear from you._

_Your friend,_

_Georgiana_

Georgiana read over her letter, pleased with her idea of inviting Charlotte to London for a visit. Surely Sidney would agree, for if Charlotte was a suitable guest for his own brother, than there could be no reason to object to her being Georgiana's guest as well. Whatever intimacy that she had thought was growing between her friend and her guardian was clearly her imagination. Thwarted in her love for Otis, she had been too quick to see romance and intrigue around her. No, Charlotte had only said that Sidney had a tenderness that he did not easily show, and clearly she had been correct. Georgiana had since learned of the history between Sidney and Mrs. Campion, and had reached the conclusion that since Sidney had engaged himself to Mrs. Campion so soon after the Midsummer's Ball that he could not have been harboring any romantic feelings towards Charlotte, nor been trifling with her affections. How the imagination will run, when one is suffering from disappointment!

Sidney stepped onto the main street. His eyes did not see the chaise go by, nor the workers going into the Crown Inn for a drink. He saw Miss Heywood, looking up at him with a smile in her eyes and faint blush on her cheeks as she reminded him that _she_ had been fully clothed at the cove. He saw her standing before him, closer than was proper, as he told her he would be gone only a week and that they would finish their conversation. Every where he looked in Sanditon, he saw Charlotte. Sidney had not forgotten that removing Miss Lambe to London would mean that he would have less reason to return to Sanditon himself. Tom would be disappointed, but Sidney could not keep returning him to a place that reminded him so forcibly of what he had lost. He turned to walk to Trafalgar House, thinking on how to tell Tom that he would not be back that summer without revealing his true reasons.

Within a few moments, he was inside the house and seated comfortably with Mary, waiting for both Tom and tea. He would miss Mary and the children considerably, but it would do him good to have some distance from Tom for a while.

"How is Eliza?" Mary's soft voice inquired. She had a look in her eyes that made Sidney wonder if his quiet, gentle sister-in-law knew more than she let on.

"Eliza is well. I believe she is none too pleased that I have come to visit Miss Lambe, but it could not be helped."

"And the wedding plans? Is there still no date?"

"Ah…Eliza has ideas of being married around Michaelmas. I have left almost the entirety of the plans up to her."

"Michaelmas? So many months away? I would have thought that you would be eager to marry her sooner, after so many years apart!" Tom entered the conversation as he entered the room, full of high spirits and enthusiasm. Sidney stood to hug his brother, using the greeting to distract Tom from noticing that Sidney did not respond to his question. Mary frowned slightly, unseen by either, as the omission did not escape her notice.

The tea service arrived at that moment, and the gentleman sat while Mary poured and served. Tom began to wax enthusiastic about the rebuilding of the Terrace, and his idea to assist the proprietor of the Crown into making the inn more appealing to the _beau monde_. "Sidney, you must bring some more friends soon, so that we can gather their opinions on how to redecorate the inn. A first-rate resort town must have a first-rate inn, you know!"

Sidney set down his teacup, as he informed his brother of his intention to remove Miss Lambe. "I fear this will mean that neither Miss Lambe nor I will return to Sanditon for the foreseeable future."

"But Sidney! You cannot take away our resident heiress! How will we inspire other rich young ladies to come and spend their pin money? Surely you have not thought this through. I am astonished!"

Sidney picked up his cup again, trying not to display his displeasure with his brother. "Are you really so surprised, Tom? Miss Lambe needs the benefit of London masters and the polish of town, if I am to discharge my obligations to her father. She has learned her lesson, and it is time for her to leave Sanditon. I cannot put Sanditon over Miss Lambe's wellbeing."

"Oh very well, very well, so Miss Lambe must go. But surely that does not mean that you cannot return? Who would not want to return to Sanditon as often as possible? Sidney, I need you to come back."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Tom, are you truly so blind?" Mary's angry tone took both her husband and brother-in-law by surprise. Sidney had never heard Mary raise her voice to the children, let alone her husband.

"Mary? What…what have I done?" Tom sputtered, bewildered by his gentle wife's unexpected anger. Her eyes were blazing with a contempt he did not know she could feel, let alone direct towards _him_.

" _Who would not want to return to Sanditon?_ Really, Tom? Are you still so obsessed with Sanditon that you had not seen what transpired under your own roof? Why would Sidney _want_ to keep returning to a place that must inevitably remind him of everything he has had to give up for you?" Mary had done her best to forgive Tom for keeping her in the dark about his finances, but this further proof of how insensible he was to the lives and feelings of his own family was too much for her to overlook.

"Given up? I have asked Sidney to give up nothing, nothing that a brother could not reasonably ask. Some time, some assistance with the bank, his influence with well-connected friends…what has angered you so, my love?" Tom looked from his wife to his brother, more confused than he had ever been. What had transpired under his roof? Sidney would not meet his eye, looking instead at Mary, his jaw set and his face pale.

"You knew." Sidney finally spoke, looking at Mary. "You had said nothing, so I had hoped that you had noticed nothing."

"I knew," Mary replied, her voice softening as she looked at her brother-in-law, at the pain so evident in his eyes. "How could I not know? When have you ever popped in to ask if _I_ needed something from the town that is literally right outside my door? When have you gone for long walks along the Sanditon cliffs? I was not born yesterday, my dear brother. She was my guest, my responsibility to look after, and she grew to be almost a younger sister. How could I fail to see how she looked at you, or how you looked at her?"

'Wait…are you discussing…do you mean _Charlotte?_ Our Charlotte? You cannot mean, Mary, that you believe Sidney to have grown attached to our Charlotte. Sidney has been in love with Eliza Campion for ten years. He proposed to her within a fortnight of meeting with her again in London." Tom continued to look from Mary to Sidney, waiting for someone to laugh at such a preposterous idea. For if Sidney had been in love with Charlotte, but engaged himself to Mrs. Campion, then that could only mean…

"Of course I mean Charlotte," Mary replied, with impatience. "Did you not see the way Sidney's eyes followed her at the Midsummer's ball? Did not you notice when both your brother and your houseguest disappeared from the dancing? Do you notice no one around you, Tom? Must we be made of bricks and mortar, sand and sea, to get your attention?"

Tom set down his teacup, rattling in its saucer. His face paled, as he looked at his younger brother. The brother that he had always looked to for aide, who shouldered his responsibilities for him. "Sidney, tell me this is not true. Tell me that you did not develop a…a _tendre_ for Charlotte."

Sidney finally looked away from Mary, and looked Tom in the eye. His shoulders fell, and he looked down at his teacup. "I was about to propose marriage to Miss Heywood, at the Midsummer's ball. I had all but avowed my devotion, when Sir Edward caused that horrid scene. I went to assist in removing him, and Miss Heywood went to aide Miss Denham. Next I knew, there were calls of 'fire'. Do you remember standing, looking at the ruins the following morning? I was going to call upon Miss Heywood immediately after, until you told me you had no insurance. How could I offer her marriage when your family was on the brink of ruin? How could she accept, loving you all as she does? No, it would have to wait. I told her I would return in a week, and that we would continue our conversation. So I went to London, hoping against hope to find a solution, but I could not. No bank would entertain so large a loan, no investors were interested in partnering with a man who did not buy insurance. I could think of no other option than Eliza, so I called upon her and made her an offer. It was the only way."

As Sidney spoke the truth out loud for the first time, Tom seemed to crumble. He put his head in his hands, and said nothing. Sidney spoke again, addressing Mary, "You have not shown in any way that you were aware of what I had done. How can you bear to look at me? I all but promised her marriage, and then engaged myself to another. I broke her heart."

"What have you done, but save my family at the expense of your own happiness? I am afraid that you have broken your own heart, Sidney. I wonder how _you_ can bear to look at _us._ "

The sympathy in Mary's eyes was more than Sidney could bear. "What's done is done," he said, his voice firm, any trace of softness or sadness gone. "It does no good to dwell on it, and I will thank you both not to speak of this again. I will return in a week to collect Miss Lambe. Kiss the children for me." He stood, bowing to Mary and nodding the slightest bit to Tom, and swept from the room.

As they heard the door close behind him, Tom raised his head and looked at the chair where his brother so recently sat. "What have I done?" he whispered. "What have I done?" Tom turned his gaze towards hi wife, terrified that he would see the same contempt still in her eyes. Mary looked at him sadly, tinged with pity. "I will fix this, Mary, I promise I will."

Mary stood, brushing out her skirts. "No, Tom. No more promises. You cannot fix it. You can only learn to live with the knowledge of what your obsession with this place has cost the people you profess to hold most dear." She walked out of the room, leaving Tom feeling the weight of a guilt he had never known before.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

**Willingden**

_I will write again from London with my new direction as soon as I am settled, and then you can send me your answer. I long to hear from you._

_Your friend,_

_Georgiana_

Charlotte reread her letter, her mind racing as she sought to comprehend Georgiana's remarkable news. Leaving Sanditon and Mrs. Griffiths! Going to London! It was no wonder that Georgiana was so delighted, it seemed everything she could hope for! And how like Georgiana, to immediately begin to scheme for Charlotte to join her in town. Always in pursuit of novelty and fun, it would not have occurred to Georgiana that Charlotte might not want to go. But the idea of going to London, of being only two streets away from Sidney, of possibly running into Mrs. Campion….no, it had best not be risked. Charlotte had no intention of even asking Mr. Heywood his permission. Having just returned from Sanditon, she could easily create an excuse to remain in Willingden that even Georgiana would accept.

Charlotte tried to comprehend what led to such a remarkable reversal. Could it be that Sidney was sincere in his attempts to mend his relationship with Georgiana? She hoped so, for both his and Georgiana's sake. Charlotte was doing her best to grow resigned to his marriage, but could not bear to think of him becoming like Mrs. Campion. The Sidney Parker of the regatta was even worse than the Sidney Parker she had first met- too cold, too willing to jest at the expense of civility. That Sidney Parker was a polished, marble statue of the man she knew him to truly be, and the loss of his heart was made worse by the idea that he would revert to being that cold version of himself. If he could still be his best self, even while in London with _her_ , then at least Charlotte could remain proud of him. He could remain in her memory as the most remarkable, complicated man she had ever known, but she would not have to lower her opinion of him. A _good_ married Sidney Parker was somehow a more tolerable notion than an unfeeling married Sidney Parker. Charlotte tried to tell herself that she hoped he would find happiness with Mrs. Campion, but it was harder to believe her own words. She did not want him to be _un_ happy, of course not, but the idea of him happily married to another while she was alone in Willingden was quite unpalatable. Happily married, unhappily married…neither image of him pleased her.

"Who was your letter from, Charlotte?" Alison's voice interrupted her thoughts. Charlotte looked up, folding her letter as she did.

"From Georgiana, my friend Miss Lambe. She writes to tell me that she will soon be leaving Sanditon for London."

"London! Ooh, how I long to go to London someday. Do you think she might invite you? Wouldn't that be lovely if you could have a London season!" Alison's enthusiasm brought a smile to Charlotte, reminding Charlotte of how excited she had been to leave Willingden for the first time.

"A London season, whatever are you thinking?" Charlotte laughed. "We are lucky to have any portions at all, being so large a family. Mamma and Papa hardly have the means to fit any of us out for a London season."

Alison sighed. "I know, I know. But isn't it a lovely thought? Beautiful ball gowns, handsome men, the dancing…what could be more heavenly?" Alison's eyes grew dreamy, as she imagined herself gorgeously gowned, being led on the dance floor by a tall, handsome man. She snapped her gaze back to her sister, who made a sound suspiciously like a sob. "Charlotte? Are you alright?"

Charlotte struggled to regain her composure. Her sister's innocent imaginings brought images to her mind of the London ball she had experienced- the look in Sidney's eyes when she came down the stairs in Mary's lovely golden gown, the feel of his hand on the small of her back, the way the crowd seemed to melt away as their eyes locked during the dance. Never had she imagined practical Charlotte Heywood dancing in London with the most handsome, enigmatic man in the whole of England. It almost seemed as though that night belonged to a different girl. Perhaps it would be better if she pretended it had.

"I am perfectly alright, thank you. London balls are not as marvelous as you make them out. The one I went to was hot and crowded, with scarcely any chance of being heard by the person standing directly next to you." Charlotte forced herself to speak lightly, not wanting to speak too harshly to her sister's innocent remark. Alison could not know what pain it gave her elder sister to speak of her London adventure.

"Oh come, Charlotte. It could not have been all bad. Surely you are not going to pretend that you did not enjoy yourself. Would you really not go back if invited?" Alison eyed her sister with disbelief. Charlotte's tone was light and playful, but there was a suspiciously wet sheen to her eyes that made Alison suspect there was more to her sister's experiences in London or Sanditon than she was letting on. Charlotte had not been quite herself since returning home, and Alison had been surprised that Charlotte had not been more forthcoming. They had always been close, and she was unused to her elder sister seeming so reserved. She had not wanted to force Charlotte's confidence, but if her sister was pretending that she was not near tears, then perhaps Alison had been patient enough.

"No, Alison, I cannot pretend I did not enjoy myself. There was much to enjoy. And Georgiana has indeed asked if I would consider staying with her. I think it best to refuse, though. I have just returned home, and I think that I ought not go to London." Charlotte could not help her voice from dropping, though she tried to keep her tone light.

"Why not, Charlotte? You cannot think Mamma and Papa would refuse their consent, can you? They have never wanted to deny us the opportunity to see more of the world." Alison could not determine how much to push. There was something here, some reason why Charlotte thought it best not to go to London. The Charlotte who left for Sanditon would have been leaping at the chance to go to London for several weeks. This Charlotte seemed almost fearful of the prospect.

"Refuse? No, I do not imagine they would. But why should I go away so soon, Alison? I have only just returned, and I can easily visit Georgiana some other time, you know. There is no need to hurry off to London the moment I am invited."

"There is something you are not telling me, Charlotte." There. She had said it. Perhaps Charlotte would resent her frankness, but something told Alison that her sister needed to relieve her feelings. What had made her make that sob-like sound? What had Alison said? They were speaking of balls, handsome men, dancing…no, it couldn't be! Could it? "Or is it some _one_ you are not telling me about?"

Charlotte looked at her sister in shock, unable to fathom how her sister had deciphered so much. She had tried so hard not to give any indication that she was feeling the effects of a bruised heart, had thrown herself back into the normal daily routine of life at home. Her mother and father seemed not to have noticed any thing, yet her sister somehow knew. "How…what can you possibly mean, Alison?"

"I have been thinking on this for several days. You are not happy, Charlotte. It pains me to see it. I thought at first that perhaps you simply missed your new friends, and that home seemed so dull after the excitement of Sanditon. How can our quiet life here possibly compare with kidnapped heiresses, rich ladies rising from their deathbeds, regattas, or fires? Your letters made it sound like you were describing a novel more than real life. The only thing missing from the perfect novel would be a love story. I begin to think that perhaps that love story is your own."

A solitary tear slipped down Charlotte's cheek as she listened to her sister's calm, quiet explanation. Her recent experiences had made her feel that she was so much older than when she left, that she had forgotten only a year separated her from her sister. Alison had always been perceptive, but there had never been much cause for her to turn those perceptions onto Charlotte. Charlotte attempted a small smile, but no longer attempted to deny what her sister already knew was true. "It is not much of a love story, I am afraid. An unpolished country girl travels from home, surprises herself by falling in love, and returns home disappointed. There is nothing so surprising in that, is there?"

"I can think of only two men that could have caught your attention. From your letters, Sir Edward was a scoundrel and Mr. Arthur Parker a rather silly, if kind-hearted, young man. You described Mr. Stringer, the foreman, as being something of a friend, and Mr. Sidney Parker…well, I do not know what to think of him. At first, you described him as horridly rude and unpleasant, but then you seemed to soften and begin to like him. So I have to conclude that it is either Mr. Stringer or Mr. Sidney Parker who has disappointed you."

"It is not Mr. Stringer. Much as I esteem him, I believe it more likely that I disappointed _him_ than the other way around. I did not mean to, in fact I scarcely noticed that his kind attentions towards me were anything beyond a friendship built on common interests. Had I not been so wrapped up in other distractions, I might have been more aware of his feelings."

"So that leaves Mr. Sidney Parker. You have not spoken his name since you returned, although you speak of his brothers and sisters frequently. Did he not return your regard, Charlotte?"

"No, Alison, it is not that he did not return it. I believe he does…he did, rather. It just cannot be."

"Why not, Charlotte? Are we not grand enough for the Parkers? Is your portion too small?" Alison tried to understand why any man would not wish to marry her kind, intelligent, lovely sister. If Charlotte, who never fell in love with anyone, had finally given heart, how was it possible for her affections not to be returned?

"Nothing like that, Alison. He is not such a snob. We never even spoke of my portion. For all I know, he believes me to have none at all. He was…he said he was going to propose marriage to me, after the Midsummer's ball. I believe he meant it. But it turned out to be impossible. Mr. Tom Parker had made a bad financial decision, and the only solution available was for Mr. Sidney Parker to make an advantageous match." There. She had said it aloud for the first time. Charlotte felt ever so slightly lighter for having given voice to what preyed constantly on her mind. Sidney would have married her if he could, she had not the pain of an unrequited love.

"But he wanted to marry you? He told you he loved you?" Alison was aghast. She had not believed that her sister had been spending the past weeks calmly sewing, bringing soup to sick tenants, attending the Willingden church while her love was engaged to another woman. Her poor Charlotte! No wonder she did not wish to go to London!

"Yes…no. Never in those words, but his meaning was unmistakable. He told me that he was his best self, his truest self, when he was with me. He told me that I was largely the reason he had changed for the better. And…and he said that he had never before wanted to put himself in someone else's power." Charlotte could no longer maintain her composure, and began to weep softly.

"Oh, my Charlotte! How much you have been through! Why did you not tell me?" Alison reached out and gripped her sister's hands, wishing for a way to comfort her.

"It does no good to dwell on what cannot be. I believe that I would have been his choice, had he been free to propose. Mine is not the first heart to be bruised, and I daresay I shall get over it."

"Why was he not free to make you an offer? You said he had no choice, but why was Mr. Tom's mistake his to fix? I do not understand why you both should lose your chance at happiness because of something his brother had done."

"Do you not see, Alison? How could we have been happy, knowing that Tom and Mary were ruined? How could he live with the guilt of knowing that he could have saved them, saved the livelihoods of all the Sanditon workers, but did not? How could I have looked Mary in the eye, knowing that my happiness was at the expense of her own?"

"Charlotte, I feel that I have never properly appreciated you. You are the most excellent creature I have ever known!" Alison exclaimed, struck by how clear-sighted her sister could be, even when experiencing heartache.

"I need no such praise, Alison. Truly, I do not. Forgive me for not being open with you. I could not bear to see pity in your eyes. I felt such a cliché, going off on my grand adventure and coming home nursing a broken heart."

"You are no cliché, Charlotte Heywood. I hope I do not pain you by asking, but is it certain that he is already married?"

"I have not heard that he is, but I cannot imagine what they have to wait for. Mrs. Campion, his fiancée, has loved him for ten years. Surely she would not wish to wait longer."

"Have you met her? What is she like?"

Charlotte barely restrained from making a face. "She is beautiful, of course. Elegant manners, lovely clothes. She is a very wealthy widow, for all that she cannot be more than a few years older than I am."

"I don't care how lovely she is. She is a cow, and I hate her." Alison replied.

Charlotte laughed at Alison's unwavering loyalty. "In truth, Alison, I do not like her at all. I would not like her even if she were not marrying Sid…Mr. Parker. I found her cold, and petty. She spoke slightingly to me at every opportunity. I would not go through life as disdainful as her for all the world." Charlotte wiped her eyes, and stood, reaching out a hand to her sister. Her heart unburdened at last, she determined it would be best not to indulge her emotions any further. "Now come, it is time we returned to the house. I shall be myself again, and we will not need to mention a word of this to anyone else. Are you ready?"

Alison took her sister's hand, and allowed Charlotte to turn the conversation to other matters, while her mind was busily engaged in thinking on all her sister had shared. Poor Mr. Parker, having to marry a cold, petty woman instead of her vibrant, amiable sister. Poor Charlotte. It seemed such a hopeless business.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, it is not easy to figure out a way to dig Sidney out of the hole he is in, while remaining true to Jane Austen's plot devices, but I am having so much fun trying! I don't have an outline, so even I am not sure yet where this story will go.
> 
> These characters are not mine. Some belong to Jane Austen, others to Andrew Davies. I am just showing my appreciation by imagining them in new situations.

**London**

_4 Robert Street_

_15 August 1819_

_My dear Charlotte,_

_I am now settled in London, at Number 4 Robert Street. I arrived yesterday, and could not be more pleased with my new situation. Mrs. Annesley seems very kind, and has a way about her that makes me feel comfortable. She does not seem to care that my skin and hair are about as far from 'fashionable' as could be. She likes to read both novels and political pamphlets, and says she will encourage me to do the same so that we may discuss them together._

_I will not tell you any thing more now. You must come to London yourself. Please say you will._

_Yours affectionately,_

_Georgiana_

* * *

Sidney knocked on the door of Number 4 Robert Street, pleased with the location and façade of Georgiana's new home and feeling hopeful that Georgiana was equally pleased. She had certainly seemed happy with the size and fitting up of her new apartments upon her arrival yesterday, but Sidney had been unable to spend the afternoon or evening helping her settle in. Upon opening the door, the footman immediately recognized his new employer and ushered him into the parlour off the entranceway. Sidney decided not to sit, but positioned himself at the window and watched the flow of people and carriages down the street.

"Sidney!" Georgiana said, rushing into the room, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. Sidney had never known Georgiana to seem to happy to see him, and was taken aback. Their conversations since informing her of his decision to remove her to London could not have worked such a change as this in only a week.

"Good day, Georgiana," he replied, smiling as he gave his most courteous bow. If Georgiana was in high spirits, he would match her with his own playfulness. "How are you finding your new home?"

"It is absolutely perfect, Sidney!" Georgiana sat, and motioned for Sidney to do the same.

"Perfect!" he repeated. "I was not after perfection. I merely sought out 'good enough'. I suppose we will have to move you again."

Georgiana paused, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you funning me, sir?"

"Me?" Sidney answered, a hint of a dimple flashing in his cheek. "I assure you, Miss Lambe, that a sense of humour is not permitted in a guardian. You clearly have mistaken my character. Now, tell me what makes Number 4 so perfect."

"Do you really need to ask?" Georgiana's eyes widened in mock disbelief. As soon as she had left Sanditon, she had determined that she would make as much of an effort with Sidney as he was with her. The end result was that he was surprisingly good company, and Georgiana began to comprehend that one could be witty without being cutting. "If you must know, Mr. Parker, no one has forced me to read passages from the Bible about lilies of the field or made me settle silly disputes about green gloves versus pink gloves for over four and twenty hours."

Sidney smiled at her description of her experiences at Mrs. Griffiths, but felt a pang of remorse. "It truly was a horrible establishment for you, Georgiana. Forgive me for not having been willing to recognize that a woman like Mrs. Griffiths would make you more likely to rebel than not."

Georgiana gave him a strangely thoughtful expression. "Sidney, do you think…" she began, but paused as she searched for the right words.

"I am not certain that I always do," Sidney replied, attempting to lighten a mood that had become suddenly, surprisingly serious. "You would know that better than most."

"No, I mean…do you think people can start over? If they have been less than kind to one another, is it possible to still become friends?" Georgiana fidgeted slightly in her chair, clearly feeling nervous in asking.

Her words conjured an image of sailing boats on the pond, and a pair of large, smiling dark eyes. ' _Can we not rewrite our history, if we find it disagreeable?'_ Sidney could not keep back a small smile at the bittersweet memory, but then forced himself to respond to his ward. "I do think it is possible. I know it is. Whom is it you wish to start over with?" he asked Georgiana.

"Well…with you, Sidney," Georgiana surprised him by saying. "I have been thinking on it since you told me I would able to leave Sanditon, and I am not entirely pleased with how I have behaved over the past months. I have wanted to blame you entirely for all of my misfortunes, but I have been unwilling to acknowledge how much I must blame myself. I…I cannot have made this easy for you, and I do not wish to spend the next two years fighting you."

"Nor I, Georgiana. So give me your hand and cry friends with me, and we shall put the past behind us." Sidney replied.

"Can it really be that easy?" Georgiana asked, skeptical of his quick response.

"No, not really," Sidney replied. "But one must start somewhere. And speaking of a new start, I wonder what your thoughts might be on taking tea with us Parkers every Tuesday and Thursday. I know you are far from home, and that we cannot replace what you have left behind. But it is the closest thing to family that I can offer you right now, and you would be very welcome."

Georgiana was taken aback by the abrupt change of subject to tea, and for the briefest of moments wondered if she should persist in discussing how to start anew with her guardian. She immediately decided that perhaps it was best to move forward in small steps, and that enough had been said for one day. She was not so sure she wished to take tea twice a week with the Parkers, though. Miss Parker was so cautious, and convinced that she was an invalid. And Mr. Arthur! Such a strange young man, although he made her laugh like no one else could. Yet, as Sidney said, one must start somewhere. "Thank you, Sidney," she smiled, "I would be delighted."

* * *

**Willingden**

_Willingden_

_20 August 1819_

_My dear Georgiana,_

_I am glad to hear that you are so happily settled in your new home, and that Mrs. Annesley seems so agreeable. I wish I could come meet her, and be with you, but I cannot leave home just now. Perhaps my parents might be able to spare me another time, but I fear it will be many, many months._

_Please write more, and tell me everything that you doing to fill your days now that you are back in London._

_Your friend,_

_Charlotte_


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> If anyone is curious, I imagine Eliza as one part Caroline Bingley and one part what a younger Mrs. Bennet might have been like.

**London**

"Sidney, this masque grows tedious. I am ready to leave for Lady Cunningham's party now," Eliza fanned herself lightly as she sipped her tepid champagne and looked out over the room. They had been at the party for above two hours, and she was quite certain that the people she most wished to see and be seen by were not going to attend. It had been a mistake to come here first this evening.

'Certainly, my dear," Sidney said, not particularly caring whether they stayed or not. He was finding more and more that the evening amusements of Eliza's circle were indistinguishable from one another. The same people, the same conversation…if one could call 'gossip' conversation. He offered Eliza his arm, and she took it after setting her glass down on the nearest surface. She struck her 'watch me leaving' pose, as he now thought it, as they walked out of the room. He fetched her wrapper, notified the footman to call for his carriage, and escorted her to the front door.

Once inside the carriage, Eliza immediately began retelling whatever _on dits_ she had heard. Sidney listened with half an ear, while thinking on the meeting he was having the following morning with his banker.

"Sidney! Sidney, are you hearing me?" Eliza's voice cut through his preoccupation. He looked at her, her wide blue eyes disappointed. He felt a pang of guilt that he could not enjoy her company the way he once had. Even when he had encountered her at the Maudley's ball, he had found her to be as interesting a conversationalist as in the past. Had she changed so much in just a few short weeks? Or had she always been this vain, and he had failed to notice?

"I beg your pardon, Eliza. My mind wandered to matters of business," he explained. Eliza gave a small pout, not pleased that Sidney had owned that he had, in fact, been ignoring her. She did not care to be ignored, and could not remember feeling like she could not hold the attention of an attractive man. It was most disconcerting for that man to be her own fiancé!

"Sidney, you do not attend me. Am I so boring to you?" Eliza asked, knowing that as a gentleman he would have to say no. This had always worked well with Mr. Campion as a way to force him into a more agreeable manner when he was not doting enough to suit her.

"My apologies, Eliza. I fear that I do not share your enthusiasm for gossip," Sidney replied. "I would be more than happy to converse on another topic."

Eliza's eyes widened slightly. As prettily said as it was, she could not help but notice that Sidney did not claim she was not boring to him! Not 'share her enthusiasm for gossip', indeed. Why he might as well have said he thought her as tedious as that masque had been. "What topics would be more to your taste, Sidney?" she retorted. "Money? Business? _Sanditon?_ "

Sidney sighed. "I did not mean to offend you, Eliza. Is it so terrible for us to have different interests? We will hardly be in each other's pockets all day, once we are wed. I will have my business to attend to, and you have activities that fill your own time, do you not?"

"What business will you have to attend to?" Eliza asked, puzzled. "Surely there will be no need for you to work, Sidney. You know the amount of my fortune. You need not work again, you know that. We have discussed it."

"It seems we each walked away from those discussions with a different understanding, my dear. I will not live off of my wife. I enjoy my work, and I certainly do intend to continue after we marry," Sidney firmly replied. He had long grown tired of this conversation, yet it appeared they must have it yet again. Eliza seemed so truly baffled by the idea of her husband being an entrepreneur, and so disgusted by it. There seemed no middle ground between them.

"Sidney, really! How will it look? Gentlemen of fortune do not _work_. It's just not done!" Eliza protested. Why could he not see how shocking it would be for her, Mrs. Eliza Campion, to be married to a man of _business_? Had she not married Mr. Campion so that she could raise her social standing? She had endured ten years of marriage to a man five and twenty years her senior, and did not intend for that sacrifice to have been for nought.

"Why should you still be so surprised, Eliza?" Sidney asked, losing his patience. "I have always been a man of business. My brother is a man of business. Your own father was, as well. I am who I have always been."

"No, you are not!" Eliza cried out, wishing she could stomp her foot in frustration. "You were different before. You looked at me, listened to me, _liked_ me ten years ago. You are not the same man at all, Sidney Parker!"

There was a pause, a silence dreadful to both Sidney and Eliza as they realized what she had said aloud. She covered her mouth with her hand. Sidney reached out to take her hand, but she tugged it away.

"A man cannot step in the same river twice," Sidney said slowly. 'Have you ever heard that?"

"What are you talking about?" Eliza said, sulkily. She wanted him to tell her that he did like her still. Sidney Parker was the most handsome man she had ever met. For ten years, she had told herself that Sidney Parker would eventually be her reward for marrying Campion, and his being unwed at the time she was widowed seemed proof that it was meant to be. Beyond that, it would be mortifying for her if it were to be known that she was marrying a man who did not adore her. She was the most sought after widow in London!

"Nothing, Eliza," Sidney said heavily. He reached for her hand once again, and this time she let him. "I am sorry that we cannot agree on my intention to work, and even more sorry that you believe that I do not like you. I have given my word to make you happy, and I will try harder to be the man you remember. Forgive me, Eliza."

She gave him a small, tentative smile, and gripped his hand more firmly. "Perhaps we have rushed getting to know one another again, after all these years apart, Sidney. Ten years is a period, indeed! Would you be very hurt if I suggested that we push the date of the wedding back another fortnight or even a month?" She would marry Sidney Parker, indeed she would, but only a Sidney Parker wrapped around her finger. She needed time to figure this new Sidney out.

Sidney tried not to feel a sense of relief at this unexpected reprieve. Tom would be alarmed at the delay, for the sake of Sanditon, but who could argue if the bride wished to change the wedding date? "Whatever makes you happy, Eliza. I will not be hurt, if it is what you wish."

Eliza's smile grew, and she turned the conversation back to the news she had learned about their various acquaintances. Sidney did his best to listen.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> A quick note on the timeline: Since the Midsummer's Ball would have been late June, and assuming that Lord Babington and Esther Denham chose to marry relatively quickly, I place their wedding around the end of July. Charlotte left Sanditon immediately after. My chapters have covered several weeks since the Season 1 finale, so it is now getting close to September.

**London**

Crocket entered the room, and handed an envelope to Georgiana, saying "The post has come, Miss," at the same moment they heard the sound of a knock on the door of Number Four Robert Street. "That was Sidney's knock," Georgiana said, decisively. It was Thursday, and he had been consistent in escorting her over to Bedford Place twice weekly for tea. This would now be her third, or was it fourth, tea with the Parkers, and Georgiana was pleasantly surprised to find that she enjoyed being with them in a family setting. Miss Parker was always a mother hen, but her devotion to her brothers was touching. She was clearly trying to mother Georgiana as well, always offering her the best seat by the fire or asking if there is a different tea more beneficial to her constitution. It was hard to continue deriding someone who so clearly just needed people to love and look after, and Georgiana had not had someone want to mother her for so long that she could not bring herself to cut Miss Parker off with her usual sharpness. Mr. Arthur, unfortunately, fell under his sister's watchfulness far too easily, and Georgiana believed that he would probably be better off if he had an occupation of some kind to focus his abilities in a more productive matter. Still, he was a kind-hearted man and treated Georgiana as a friend. In truth, all of the Parkers treated her as though they neither remembered nor cared that her mother had been a slave and her father had left her one hundred thousand pounds. In Bedford Place, she was just herself, and she had grown to look forward to her quiet afternoons there.

"Georgiana, dear, Mr. Sidney has come to bring us to tea," Mrs. Annesley said, entering the room. "Oh, I see you have got your letter. Would you like me to ask him to be kind enough to wait a few moments so that you can read it?"

"I don't think so, Mrs. Annesley," Georgiana replied, looking down at her letter. 'Oh! It is from Charlotte! I have been hoping to receive an early reply to my last. I can easily bring it with me, I think. I am sure Miss Parker and Mr. Arthur would be happy to have news of her, and would be delighted to hear she is coming to town." Georgiana paused suddenly, and bit her lip. "Mrs. Annesley, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, my dear. Is something the matter?"

"I am not sure. You see, I may have done something a bit impulsive, weeks ago, mind you, and now I am not sure what Sidney will say. I do not know how to tell him, and do not want to go to tea with him angry."

"Well, Georgiana, I would suggest you start by apologizing. I find that if one owns they have, or may have, made a mistake, then the other person has less need to say it for them. Mr. Sidney seems a rationale gentleman, and I am sure he will hear you out. Whether he will be angry, I cannot say."

Georgiana nodded. Mrs. Annesley had a way of suggesting the proper way to behave without sounding like she was scolding or sermonizing. Over the brief time they had been together, Georgiana was beginning to sound less angry and petulant as a result. "Very well, I will try. Will you give me a few minutes to speak with him alone, before we leave?" Mrs. Annesley consented, and Georgiana went downstairs alone, to find Sidney in the front parlour.

"Good afternoon, Sidney. I am sorry to keep you waiting," Georgiana greeted him, as she entered.

"Not at all, Georgiana. Are you ready to leave?" he replied, turning from the window and beginning to walk to the doorway.

"Actually, I was wondering if you could spare a minute first. Please? There is something I wish to speak to you about." Georgiana spoke quickly, feeling surprisingly nervous. She had never particularly cared about making Sidney angry in the past, but their new-found accord had been such a very pleasant change that she did not want to ruin it. She feared that his anger would bring back her own, and she was just so tired of being angry. Sidney nodded, and barely had time to say, "Of course," before Georgiana plunged on. "I have been a bit impulsive, you see, and I did not consult you first. I do not think it is truly so very bad, or that you would mind so very much, but I should have consulted you first, and I did not think to at the time, and I do not want you to be angry with me and say no."

Sidney blinked, trying to make sense of the rush of words. "Let me see if I understand. You have done something not so very bad, but you fear I will be angry because you did not ask first?" Georgiana nodded. "Might I ask what this 'not so very bad' something was?"

"I invited Charlotte to come visit. It was when you first told me that you were bringing me to London, and I thought it would be so much fun to have her with me. So when I wrote to her of my change in situation, I asked if she would come. I know you cannot object to her coming, but I should have asked you first before issuing the invitation. I am sorry, Sidney. Please say she can come." Feeling nervous and uncomfortable in the novelty of apologizing to the guardian she had been at odds with for long, Georgiana did not notice his stillness the moment she mentioned her friend's name. The pause before he responded was dreadful to her.

"Are you so lonely here, then, Georgiana? I had hoped you would be happy here, with Mrs. Annesley," he finally responded.

"Oh, no! I am very happy here. It is infinitely better than Sanditon, and I enjoy my afternoons with your siblings. It is such a respite from being gawked at and whispered about. I asked Charlotte to come before even leaving Sanditon, and here is her reply come today. I do not want to have to tell her she cannot come, but you should have been consulted. Must I tell her no?"

"Has Miss Heywood agreed to visit?" Sidney asked.

"I have not opened her reply," Georgiana admitted, "I wanted to consult you first. Yet I assume she has accepted. Who would stay in Willingden when they could come to London?"

"If you are not lonely, and indeed had not even left Sanditon yet, what made you invite Miss Heywood so immediately?" Sidney asked. The idea of Miss Heywood in Robert Street seemed both a gift and a curse. He would be forced to see her, take tea with her, at least twice a week, and treat her as an indifferent acquaintance. Sidney was not sure he was up to the task.

"I did not know anything of Mrs. Annesley, and wanted to be sure I had a friend here," Georgiana admitted. "And, if you must know, I have been reflecting a great deal on my months in Sanditon and I am not very pleased with how I treated Charlotte. I felt that I owed her something more, and bringing her to London was something in my power to do for her."

This was the last answer Sidney had expected. "I thought the two of you thick as thieves in Sanditon. What did you do to treat her badly?"

"I feel that I took a certain advantage over her good-nature," Georgiana said slowly. It was hard to find the words to describe what she was only beginning to understand. "Miss Heywood reached out to me in pure kindness, not caring a whit for my blackness or my fortune. She knew I was unhappy, and wanted nothing but to make me happier. I used that to my advantage. Do you remember that day, when you found Ot…Mr. Molyneux in Sanditon?" Georgiana shook her head impatiently, and went on without allowing Sidney to respond. "What am I saying, of course you remember. I never told Charlotte that he was coming to see me. I had not even told her such a person existed. I asked her to go on a picnic with me, so that I might escape the tedium of Mrs. Griffith's house. When she saw Mr. Molyneux, she was angry and refused to leave us unchaperoned. I was not kind to her for that. I…I accused her of being your spy, and made a point of saying unkind things about you at every turn. Even after Mr. Molynuex was revealed for a gambler, I refused to allow her to try to change my mind about you. Every time she tried to defend you, I told her not to trust you. She has done nothing but try to support me, and I have repaid her with sulks and selfishness. I have never even thanked her for risking her own reputation and safety for the sake of my own. So you see, Sidney? I need to be a friend to Charlotte the way she has been a friend to me. I must find a way to repay her." Georgiana finally stopped, and looked up at Sidney with large, dark, imploring eyes.

Sidney could not respond immediately. His ward could have no idea the pain she gave him with her confessions! To hear that Charlotte had been innocent of conspiring with Georgiana gave him fresh shame over the way he had publicly berated her. She had long forgiven him, he knew, but he was not so quick to forgive himself. How different their fates might have been had he less quick to judge her! And to hear that she repeatedly tried to soften Georgiana's view of him, when he had given her so little reason to think well of him. It did not surprise him that Georgiana felt herself unworthy of such a friend. Sidney had never met anyone who could match Charlotte's kindness and willingness to help those around her. He pulled his thoughts away from his painful awareness of the woman he had lost, and forced himself to respond to Georgiana. He understood her, as he also knew what it was to want to be a better person for Charlotte Heywood.

"Georgiana, I have no objection to your friend paying a visit. I wish you had asked first, but I believe that it was innocently done. All I ask is that you not surprise me with invitations to friends in the future. Is that agreeable to you?"

"Thank you, Sidney! Since we are already late for tea, would you object to two additional minutes so that I can read my letter?" Sidney gave his assent, and Georgiana hastily opened the letter from Charlotte. Her face fell.

"What is the matter? Does she send bad news?" Sidney asked. He was eager for any news of Charlotte, though he knew he should not be. Yet how did a man forget such a woman, when every thing he learned about her confirmed how superior she was to every other woman of his acquaintance?

"No…not bad news. I think she is well. She only wrote to say that her parents cannot spare her, and therefore cannot come to London. I had not expected her to say no."

"I am sorry for your disappointment, Georgiana. I am sure she misses you and is disappointed as well," Sidney managed to reply. His own disappointment was sharp, as was his relief. He longed to see her, but it was better than they not meet. Miss Heywood had once again proven herself wiser than he would have been.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> Note: Thank you for the positive reviews! Do not despair of Charlotte and Sidney getting their HEA. It will come, but we're just not quite there yet. Also, I hope you do not mind the changes I have made to Georgiana. I personally found her pretty childish during Season 1, and I need her to grow up a bit so that I can take this story where I want it to go. I am trying to make her personal growth believable, but please let me know if it is too much, too quickly.

_4 Robert Street_

_1 September 1819_

_Dear Charlotte,_

_Please forgive me for taking a few extra days to write. I had hoped your letter would bring news of your joining me in London, but since you cannot I figured that it would be best to delay my own letter for a few days so that I might have more to communicate. I know that you have little interest in the balls, musicales, and who wore what on the Row, so I shan't bore you with those details. In truth, the details do not vary much from event to event. Lady Such-and-Such looked horrid in a puce turban, or Miss So-and-So has hopes of bringing Lord Whomever up to scratch but Lord Whomever has been seen in the company of a certain someone else. I cannot pretend that I do not enjoy myself, because there are simply so many different people to see and talk to here, but I also cannot pretend that any of it has any significance. Mrs. Annesley has been true to her word and has me reading various political pamphlets in addition to the gossip rags, and it leaves me wondering how all of these people can be content doing so much nothing all day._

_I spend much of my day shopping, visiting, reading, and the like. My evenings are far more interesting. Card parties are fashionable this season, and I find that I much prefer hazard and faro to cribbage. Twice weekly, I take tea with Sidney and his siblings. Mr. Arthur is currently trying a new medical treatment, at Miss Parker's insistence, that has him eating only foods prepared with vinegar, which I believe is supposed to help purge the body of bile. Mr. Arthur does not believe himself to be quite bilious, however, and I have noticed him sneaking more than one biscuit when his sister was not looking. Sidney spends much of his time working, although I cannot figure out what it is he actually does. I believe he is acting as Mr. Tom Parker's agent in some way, so that Mr. Tom need not come to London himself. It sounds as though the rebuilding of Sanditon has begun, and there was talk of bringing in more workers so that it might be rebuilt more quickly. I imagine you know more about this than I could, as you undoubtedly correspond with the Sanditon Parkers. You always did find the development of Sanditon, and the whole of Sanditon, a subject of far more interest than I._

_I must tell you that I am disappointed that you will not be here with me, my dear friend. I am enjoying Mrs. Annesley's company, and that of the various Parkers, but I do not feel as though I could truly call any of my London acquaintances my friends. There are many who leave their cards and seek me out at parties, and I certainly do not lack for dance partners, but I suspect that is more due to the novelty of my appearance and the lure of my fortune. With you, I am no such spectacle. I fear you will think me childish for saying this, but I often wish that my father had not left me such a fortune. I have no wish to be poor, mind you, but a lesser amount seems more conducive to happiness. Could I have but been an heiress with a more moderate twenty thousand! One hundred thousand seems a heavy burden at times. You must be laughing at my foolishness, and indeed I realize how I must sound to be complaining of possessing a fortune. Would that I could somehow share it with you. Fifty thousand for each of us, and we could travel the Continent together and lack for nothing. Is that not a perfect plan?_

_I must leave off my letter, as Mrs. Annesley and I have been invited to join Sidney and Mrs. Campion at the theatre this evening. I cannot quite make her out. She is always very polite, and is entertaining to converse with, but I suspect she does not truly like me or wish to know me better. Sometimes I think she resents Sidney's obligations to me, or rather anything that takes his attention away from herself. But at least she does not gawk at me or make comments about my mother's past, like a certain Lady D once did, and her anecdotes are diverting. It is more than I can say for most people._

_Write back to me, Charlotte, and tell me what passes for entertainment in Willingden. You must write much more than your last letter._

_Yours affectionately_

_Georgiana_

* * *

_Willingden_

_10 September 1819_

_Dear Georgiana,_

_I am happy to hear such a good account of yourself, and owe you much thanks for sparing me the details of puce turbans. I do not think I could handle a description of such a horror! Please reassure me that this is not the newest fashion, to set my mind at ease that puce turbans will not start appearing at Willingden church any time soon. Not that we are so very fashionable here, but the London fashions do make their way to the country eventually._

_We have had considerable excitement here. Farmer Banks' prize heifer was stung by a bee, causing the poor creature to crash through a fence and trample more than one vegetable garden. You will be relieved to hear, I am sure, that the heifer has been tended to and is expected to make a full recovery. I fear the same cannot be said of Mrs. Thomas' carrot and turnips._

_The weather has been exceedingly fine, and I have been spending much time tending to my own garden. It is a peaceful occupation, and I take much pleasure in nurturing my plants and watching them grow. I may try growing roses next year, if this year's blossoms turn out as well as it seems they shall. I imagine this sounds unspeakably dull to you, with your card parties and musicales, but one must fill their time somehow. I also read a great deal, although lately I have been reading more on architecture. Mr. Tom Parker was kind enough to send me some of his books, and I continue trying to convince my father to improve the homes of his tenants. I hope I do not deceive myself when I say I believe I am making some progress, and that my father is coming around to my way of thinking._

_The other Willingden news is nothing less than the arrival of a new curate. Our vicar, Mr. White, has suffered from ill health all summer, it seems, and Mrs. White has finally prevailed upon him to engage a curate and seek retirement. I must confess that I may have had a hand in their final decision to remove to Sanditon, for the benefit of the sea breezes and Dr. Fuchs. As you remarked, I always took more of an interest in the success of Sanditon, and my own removal from there seems to not make much of a difference. I think that part of me will always be in Sanditon, even if I were never to set foot there again._

_I digress, so I shall return to the interesting topic of the new curate, a Mr. Taylor. I have seen him only the one Sunday so far, although my father has invited him to dine with us and we expect him this Tuesday. News travels fast when a new individual joins a community as small as this, so I can already tell you with considerable authority that he is about six and twenty, unmarried, and is the third son of a gentleman in Yorkshire. He also has light brown hair and blue eyes, is somewhat tall and somewhat thin, and has a pleasing countenance when he delivers his sermon. Mr. Taylor is causing quite the stir among the ladies of Willingden parish, and I imagine they are hard at work determining which of them shall become Mrs. Taylor and how soon. Do not imagine me among their number, however. I am not yet so resigned to being an old maid, at the age of two and twenty, that I would set my cap for a man without even knowing how well he dances! I jest, of course, for you know that I have long professed not to marry unless my heart is engaged, and I am fairly certain my heart is safe from Mr. Taylor._

_I am afraid that I must turn down your offer of half your fortune. I should not know what to do with that kind of wealth, and fear that I am ill-suited to the grand life of an heiress. From your description, I should despise being gawked at, and would likely offend half of London society by sharing my opinions. I imagine I would not be invited to many parties before long. I cannot claim to know any thing about managing money, but I wonder you do not speak to Mr. Sidney Parker. Is it so impossible for a young lady of means to choose to invest, if her guardian approves her investment? At the very least, he would tell you it is out of the question, which leaves you no worse off than you are at this moment._

_I am sorry to disappoint you in my refusal to your kind invitation, but am glad that you have been received so kindly by the various Parkers, as you call them, and Mrs. Annesley. True friendship is indeed a blessing, and believe me when I say that my friendship for you is unchanged, despite the miles between us._

_Yours etc.,_

_Charlotte_

Charlotte read over her letter before sealing it. How hard it was to find news of any importance to share with Georgiana, when the pace of country life was so slow. If Georgiana had found Sanditon tedious, then she would find life at Willingden unbearable. Charlotte had not been dishonest when she told her friend that she found her work in her garden peaceful, but she had not been able to bring herself to tell Georgiana how much effort it took to be content. Charlotte felt guilty for missing Sanditon as deeply as she did, because it was not even the people she missed so much as the activity and the sense of being a part of something larger than herself.

What had Sidney said to her, in that disastrous encounter on the balcony when they had scarcely met? He had spoken about trying to make a mark on the world, to leave it a better place than he had found it. She had not understood his true meaning at the time, but now she felt the value of it. In helping Tom sort his papers, or organize the regatta, she had been part of building something real. Her garden was a pastime, an occupation to fill idle time that lent a temporary beauty but nothing more. Helping her mother tend to the children was useful, for sure, but not an occupation that satisfied the mind. Bringing food and assistance to the poor was more fulfilling, because Charlotte could tell herself that she was making a difference in someone else's life for the better, but it simply was not enough anymore. Sanditon had changed her, and had made her aware that she longed to have something… _more_.

At first, she had assumed that her dissatisfaction at home was a result of her bruised heart, but it was not even thoughts of Sidney Parker than left her so restless. She had been truthful with Georgiana when she said that Mr. Taylor, the new curate, had little chance of touching her heart. She was resigned to Sidney marrying Mrs. Campion, truly she was, but she knew it would be a long time before any other man would be able to compare with him. Not that Mr. Taylor had shown any particular interest in her, after one brief Sunday, and Charlotte was not so foolish as to think that he spent as much time pondering the Willingden ladies as they pondered him. Charlotte was less convinced than ever that she would find someone to marry who would suit her ideas of a true meeting of minds and hearts. She envisioned a partnership with a man who would support her desire to be useful, who would welcome her help in his endeavors to make his mark on the world. It was unlikely she would ever come across such a man within five miles of home. Charlotte would need to think up a way to make her mark at home. Perhaps she would be able to talk her father into improving the tenants' cottages soon. That would give her some satisfying employment.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> Note: I won't lie to you. I have rewritten this chapter 3 times so far, each version totally different. I know where the story is going, never fear, but I got lost for a day or so and had to find the path back. It took some research into Regency England, so that I could get my timelines right, but I think I found my way back!

**London**

"Sidney, you will not believe my news!" Eliza burst out as soon as she was safely seated inside the carriage. She arranged her evening wrap around her so that it would wrinkle less, and did not pause for Sidney to say anything. "We have been invited to Lord Hampton's country estate for his house party two weeks hence. Is that not delightful?"

Sidney gave Eliza the smile she expected, and the approbation she sought. "Delightful, indeed. I was unaware that we were acquainted with Lord Hampton to such a degree. Have you not told me that his parties are considered highly exclusive?"

"The _most_ exclusive, Sidney! He collects only the most important and fashionable members of society around him." Eliza was overjoyed that Sidney had remembered such a detail. Since her outburst a fortnight ago, he had taken pains to be more attentive. It really made him a much more agreeable companion, to her relief. She had begun to think that perhaps marrying Sidney Parker would not be what she had imagined it to be. She remained concerned that he had not yet agreed to leave off his business endeavors once they were wed, and with only one month until the wedding, she had not much time left to change his mind. Her experience with Mr. Campion had taught her that it was preferable to prevent a husband from doing something at the outset than to endeavor to make him stop once he had begun. She simply needed more time. Sidney would come around, she was sure of it.

"How is it that we are so fortunate as to be included? Has not Lord Hampton and most of his circle been in the country for the summer? I do not recall speaking with him even once these past months." Sidney had learned over the past fortnight that Eliza was easy to pacify, so long as he kept the conversation on her interests. The topics that he wished to discuss must simply wait for different company, which would make their marriage like that of most London couples he knew. That he had begun to envision a very different sort of partnership in a marriage, and thought it was within reach, was not Eliza's fault. In truth, had he and Eliza been wed ten years ago, he would have likely seen nothing lacking at all. He would simply need to overlook the evidence that he had changed over the past ten years, and that she had not.

"Sidney, darling, this is the most wonderful part! We were added to the guest list at the _particular_ request of Lady Worchester! Is that not most extraordinary? I had been sure that she was uninterested in furthering our acquaintance, as she was never at home when I called and then left London weeks ago for the country, but it seems I was mistaken. I have heard that the Prince Regent himself is likely to make an appearance." Eliza's eyes sparkled with delight as she envisioned this entrée into a different social circle. Surely, once surrounded by the most influential members of the _ton,_ Sidney would begin to see why his insistence on working would simply not do.

"The Prince Regent, you say? I wonder if perhaps Lord and Lady Babington will be joining the party," Sidney mused. Eliza's mention of Lady Worchester piqued Sidney's curiosity, though he took pains not to show it. Sidney had not forgotten their almost too interesting little conversation several weeks back, and now Lady Worchester was making a point of including Eliza and himself in an exclusive country party. What was the lady about? Why should someone so wholly unconnected with him be taking such an interest in where he goes and whom he marries?

"I believe they will be. I cannot imagine they would still wish to rusticate on their own, when they could be at Lord Hampton's," Eliza shrugged. Lord Babington did not interest her, despite his friendship with the Prince Regent. He was already Sidney's particular friend, and she foresaw no new benefit to herself arising from that quarter.

"And this sensational party begins in two weeks, you say? How long should we plan on staying there?" Sidney asked, doing some thinking to adjust his schedule. He would need to let Tom know where he could be reached, and Georgiana as well. He had not been away from his ward in over a month, and he was surprised to find that he would miss her company. Without her customary sharpness and acrimony, Georgiana had a playfulness and wit that was quite charming. Sidney would task Arthur with making sure that she continued to come to tea, in his absence. The walk of two blocks was surely insignificant enough that Arthur would not protest.

"Oh, I would say at least one week. Certainly not two. We mustn't overstay, you know."

"Eliza, forgive me if I am missing something important, but does this timeline not come rather close to our wedding? Even if we were to stay only one week, we would be rushing back to London days before we are to be wed. Is this really what you want?" Sidney was very aware of the date of his wedding. He had been able to pacify Tom's creditors with the news of his engagement to Mrs. Campion, and even mollify them after the date was pushed back a fortnight. He needed to be able to make good on his promises of payment. Nor was he likely to mistake the date that would serve to separate him from any hope of Charlotte Heywood forever.

"Oh, I have figured all that out, dearest. We will postpone the wedding," Eliza said nonchalantly.

"Postpone the wedding? Again? Eliza, you cannot be serious. For a house party?" Sidney was incredulous. For his own sake, he was in no rush to wed her, but he could not fathom that Eliza would place courting the favour of a handful of lords and ladies over her own wedding.

"I am quite serious, Sidney. I have thought it all out," Eliza replied calmly, pleased at how upset Sidney was at the idea of postponement. Surely he must love her, if the thought of delay was so distressing to him. Yes, she was completely right to want more time. All she would need is a few more months, and Sidney would once more be as devoted as he had been when they were younger. This new plan would do very well, indeed. It was not as if she was in any hurry to have a husband again. She was an independent widow, and could set her own affairs to suit her. In truth, she hardly had any need to remarry at all, but Sidney Parker was a prize she was determined to have.

"Have you? Please, enlighten me."

"There is no call for sarcasm, Sidney. You will surely agree with me, once you understand my reasons. We both know that London is rather thin this time of year, which was of no concern before we received this invitation. However, now that we have the opportunity to move in a much more exalted circle, it would be best to postpone so that we can cultivate these new friendships. If we marry in a month, Lord Hampton and his circle will be no more than acquaintances. If we wait until January, they will be our friends and honoured guests. Further, the fashions will likely change in town this winter, and I see no point in exhausting myself to plan a wedding that will be unfashionable only a month later." Eliza was pleased with her thinking. January would be much, much better. Everyone who mattered would begin returning to town in November, which gave her several months to establish herself in the circle she wanted, and to ensure that her wedding was the most fashionable and talked of for months.

"January? Eliza, that is over four months off! You wish to postpone our wedding by four months, so that we can be _fashionable_?" Sidney spat out. This could not happen. He would never be able to keep Lady Denham at bay for four months. The old lady was impatient to be assured that her investment was secure, and would be exceedingly suspicious of relying on a bride who kept delaying her own wedding. She would likely conclude that Tom was trying to bamboozle her, and call in his debt immediately. "Why can we not marry as planned in a month, and then throw a large party or some such during the winter? I cannot agree to this, Eliza. You ask too much."

"I am sorry you are angry, Sidney, but I am determined. What is another four months, when we have been waiting ten years? I wish our wedding day to be perfect, just as our life together will be. Would you truly deny me that?" Eliza implored, her blue eyes large and wide as she looked at him. Sidney seemed to deflate, recognizing that Eliza would be unable to hear reason. He could hardly explain that he needed to marry her sooner so that he could spend her money.

"You seem to like to remind me of that, that we have been waiting for ten years," Sidney replied, his voice low, as the carriage pulled to a stop in front of a large, well-lit London home. "I wonder that you can forget so easily that you spent those ten years married, by your own choice, to someone else." Sidney sprang down from the carriage as soon as the door was opened, and held out his hand to assist Eliza down. He was relieved that this conversation had to end, because he did not trust himself to speak further. He said nothing more to his future wife as they entered the soiree, and parted from her as soon as he could reasonably do so. He stalked off to find a drink, and a quiet corner where he could think on how he could possibly salvage this disaster.

* * *

_7 Bedford Place_

_23 September 1819_

_Dear Tom,_

_I write to inform you that I will be leaving London for a brief stay at Lord Hampton's estate. I will depart this Saturday, and hope to return the Saturday sen'night following, or soon thereafter. You can reach me there, if you have a need._

_I must also inform you that Eliza has determined to postpone the wedding until January. I have been unable to persuade her against this. Do not be alarmed, though. I will think of something, so that you may remain in Lady D's good graces. All will be well._

_Yours, etc._

_Sidney_

Sidney folded and sealed his letter to Tom as soon as the ink was dry. He had delayed sending news of the postponed wedding for as long as he could, in the hopes that he would be able to persuade Eliza to marry sooner, but to no avail. Their interactions of the past two weeks had been one argument after the next, but all in vain. She was insistent on January, and would not budge. Eliza had become so weary of his persistence that she had left for Lord Hampton's estate without him, not wanting to spend three hours confined in a carriage with Sidney. There would be no opportunity to discuss this with her further once he joined her in the country, as he had no wish to be seen to argue with her publicly. He would need to play the doting fiancé for the duration of Lord Hampton's party.

Noting the time, he put aside his paper and pen, put on his jacket, and set the letter on the tray to go out in the next post. He informed Arthur and Diana that he would return promptly with Georgiana for their Thursday tea, and stepped out into a misty London afternoon, his mood as grey as the sky.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> Note: I am so touched by the positive feedback. Thank you so very much!

**Hampton Manor**

Sidney sipped his port, letting the laughter and conversation of the other gentlemen swirl around him. Despite his lack of interest in attending this party, he was having a rather enjoyable time. It was a pleasant change of pace for him to relax and embrace the appearance of doing nothing for several days. There was no Tom nor Sanditon pressing on him, and no arguments with Eliza to irk him. His life had seemed so unbearably serious for the past month or two that he had forgotten how much fun it was to jolly other gentlemen into business dealings. Several of the gentlemen present had attended the Sanditon regatta, and Sidney was able to use their curiosity about the Terrace fire to plant the seeds of interest in possibly investing or visiting the following summer. That fire, which had consumed his own chances of happiness, was at least giving Sanditon a sheen of distinction to set it apart from other watering places. Sidney was becoming almost as obsessed with Sanditon's success as Tom, as though the establishment of the town as a fashionable resort would somehow justify the personal sacrifices Sidney had made.

"So tell us, Parker," he heard himself suddenly hailed, and looked up from his glass to find Lord Hampton looking at him. "what is your secret to holding the interest of the lovely Mrs. C for so many years? You must have some excellent advice for the rest of us, to keep her captivated right under Mr. C's nose." Lord Hampton laughed, as though making a great jest, but Sidney did not see much humour in this unexpected remark. This was not the first comment Lord Hampton had made about Sidney's relationship with Eliza, and there was a strange undercurrent when he spoke of her that made Sidney uneasy.

"I do not take your meaning, Lord Hampton," Sidney replied lightly. "I had neither seen nor spoken with Mrs. Campion for ten years until our paths crossed at Lady Maudsley's ball this past June. We had no contact with each other since her marriage to Mr. Campion."

"Come now, no need to dissemble. The old man is dead, you know. You can hardly cuckhold him in his grave." Lord Hampton responded, a hard glitter in his eyes.

"I have no need to dissemble. The lady was married, I went to Antigua, and we lived utterly separate lives for ten years. A man might wonder why you are so disinclined to believe otherwise, particularly when your disbelief is of no credit to either myself or the lady in question." Sidney drawled, trying to match the air of the room. His set jaw and the darkening shade of his eyes indicated his growing anger with this continued affront.

"Of course Lord Hampton believes you, Sidney," Lord Babington interjected, attempting to diffuse the tension building between the two men. "I imagine he is simply envious of your luck, and hopes to find a Mrs. Campion of his own some day. Is that not right, Lord Hampton?"

"Certainly, Babington," Lord Hampton agreed, his eyes still on Sidney's. "Who would not be envious of the man who has the heart and hand of such a woman? You should be on your guard, Parker, lest someone steal her from you."

"A woman is not property, that can be stolen, Lord Hampton," Sidney volleyed back. This conversation was growing more and more unpleasant by the moment, and Sidney wished for a way to leave the room.

"Come now, Sidney, it is a manner of speech," Lord Babington again attempted to turn the conversation in a lighter direction. "You mustn't be so literal. And you cannot blame anyone for wanting to know more of such a grand love story. It is like the novels my sisters like to read. Who among us can claim to end up with the first girl we loved?"

"And a good thing too, Babington," another guest called out. "Otherwise, most of us would be married to barmaids!" The gentlemen laughed, and the conversation turned to bawdy reminiscences of their early adulthood. Babington met Sidney's eye, and motioned to the open terrace doors. He stood, excusing himself with claim of wanting some air, and went outside. A few minutes later, Sidney followed.

"Thank you, Babington. I could not think how to get out of that conversation," Sidney voiced his gratitude to his friend, bracing his arms on the railing and looking out over the trees and shrubs of the park.

"I think you had best watch out for our host, Sidney," Lord Babington replied. "I have heard that he was paying Mrs. Campion very noticeable attentions in the days before your arrival. He seems to have an unexplained fascination with her."

"Did your sources tell you how she received those attentions?" Sidney asked.

"With no apparent discomfort, I am told. She seemed to welcome them. But I am sure that cannot be the case."

"Are you? I am not sure I share your conviction." Sidney kept his eyes on the landscape, not wanting to see the expression on Babington's face. His friend was one of the worst card players he knew, and everything he felt was there for all to see. "She claims to have loved me all these years, but I am not certain that her understanding of love is the same as mine."

"You believe that you know a different sort of love?" Babington queried.

"You know that I have. I appreciate that you have said nothing, but you need not feign ignorance."

"Is there really no other way, Sidney? I hate to see you go down this path."

"I cannot think of one. Even if I can somehow solve Tom's difficulties, I have still pledged myself to her. I am hers in honour as well as word. What would you have me do?"

"I do not know. I do not have your gift for strategy."

"Trust me, Babington. If there had been another way, I would have taken it. Imagine being divided from your Lady Babington forever, and you will understand how eagerly I would have taken any other viable option. This is my fate. I am trying to resign myself to it."

Lord Babington said nothing, but stood beside his friend in companionable silence.

* * *

Eliza made her way through the dance set with Lord Grasthmere's heir, resplendent in a gown of blue watered silk that had been carefully selected to match her eyes and make her hair gleam. Sidney stood with Lord Babington on the side of the ballroom, relieved that it was the final eve of their stay at Hampton Manor. He wanted to be away from Lord Hampton's sly barbs, and the novelty of doing nothing had given way to a restless need to return to doing something, anything, that had value.

"Good evening, Mr. Parker, Lord Babington." Sidney looked to see Lady Worchester standing nearby. He bowed, as Lord Babington returned her greeting.

"You look lovely this evening, Lady Worchester," Babington said, "I cannot imagine what it wrong with these gentlemen that you are left with no dance partner."

"Charming, Lord Babington, but I see you do not ask me yourself," she teased. It was well known that she rarely danced, preferring to observe and mingle instead.

"Ah, I am afraid that Lady Babington is exceedingly jealous, worse than a fishwife, and I would not wish to bring her ire by dancing with a woman as beautiful as yourself," he replied, smiling. They laughed good-naturedly, for Lady Babington was fast becoming known for her droll wit amongst the _ton_. No one could imagine her causing a jealous scene, or a scene of any sort.

"And you, Mr. Parker? I have not seen you dance much this evening, though I feel certain I have seen you dance before. Lady Maudsley's masque, perhaps?" Lady Worchester gave Sidney an arch look, as though daring him to pretend that he did not catch her meaning.

"I have no objection to dancing, my lady. I did not realize that seeing me dance would give you such pleasure. Forgive me for my negligence," Sidney replied, avoiding her reference to the Maudsley masque entirely. The woman was such a puzzle to him, and he was tired of puzzles.

"There is nothing to forgive, Mr. Parker. I shall not tease. I understand that Mrs. Campion and you are to depart tomorrow. Have you enjoyed yourselves?"

"Indeed, I must be in London the day after next. I believe Mrs. Campion would be happy to stay, if it were in her power," Sidney answered. "I believe I understood from her that we have you to thank for our inclusion in this party. She was quite delighted, so I must express my gratitude that you gave her cause for such joy."

"Yes, I wanted to know more of your Mrs. Campion. It is so hard to get to know someone in London, you know. A gathering of this nature, in the country, thrown together for days on end, is much more conducive to gaining the measure of a man…or woman, as the case may be."

"And were your efforts successful?" Sidney asked, intrigued as much as wary. He could not tell if Lady Worchester was friend or foe.

"Quite," she responded, her tone thoughtful. "I feel I understand Mrs. Campion much better now."

"Then I am doubly glad that we were able to attend, if our presence here has been of service to you. Now if you will excuse me, I believe I will go claim Mrs. Campion for the next set." Sidney bowed to Lady Worchester, nodded to Babington, and walked off to the part of the room where he had last spotted Eliza.

"Lady Worchester, I believe you are up to something," Lord Babington said softly. He had watched the conversation between the lady and his friend with considerable interest. He had known Lady W for several years, and had a great deal of respect for both her intellect and her influence.

"Hmmmm….I have not decided yet," she murmured, watching Sidney lead Eliza to the floor. They were certainly a handsome couple, but the more she learned of Eliza Campion, the less she liked her. She had an abhorrence of sycophants and social climbers, having encountered far too many. It was why she had taken so immediately to Charlotte Heywood. The girl's frankness and utter unconcern with fashion or society had been such a refreshing change. Charlotte was so genuine, without being the last bit vapid. London society would be vastly improved with more ladies like her to spend time with. "Tell me, Lord Babington, is Mr. Parker a good man?"

"Sidney? I would say so," Babington replied, startled by the question.

"Why would you say so?" she pressed. She had the measure of Eliza Campion, but Sidney Parker was more of a conundrum. He was quite difficult to read, even for her.

"What defines a good man? He is devoted to his family, is unafraid to make sacrifices for those he loves, and will put up with a great deal of unpleasantness if it is for a good cause. Yet he is no hypocrite. He has principles, and a strong sense of honour or duty. So yes, I call him a good man."

"That is a reassuring answer, Lord Babington. I think I have nearly made up my mind," Lady Worchester said after a moment's pause.

"Made up your mind, in what respect, my lady? My friend has been through quite a bit lately, and I must ask why you are asking about him in this manner."

"Why, whether or not to meddle, Lord Babington. If he were not a good man, then I think I would do nothing and let them rub along together as best they can. However, if he is the man you say, then perhaps he might be in need of a little help?" She looked up at Lord Babington, wondering if he would understand her.

Lord Babington searched her countenance for a moment, and then looked at Sidney on the dance floor. He looked back at Lady Worchester, and gave her a slow, conspiratorial smile. "I believe he might, my lady. I believe he might."


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create most of these characters. They belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.

_4 Robert Street_

_29 September 1819_

_My dear Charlotte,_

_I am beyond disheartened that you will not accept half of the money that I am not allowed to give you. If you will not travel the Continent with me as my fellow heiress, then I will engage you as my companion instead. You will have to bear with all of my whims and moods, carry my parasol and my purchases, and in return I shall be as difficult and quarrelsome as possible. None of this can happen until I come of age, mind you, so you are safe from me for two years. Then again, I doubt your husband will allow it. You may claim that Mr. Taylor has no chance of success with you, but I imagine someone will come along and persuade you into matrimony. By the by, you have sent me no account of Mr. Taylor's dinner with your family. Is he pleasant company? Does he slurp his soup? At the least, I would hope he does not refer to the Miss Heywoods as a 'bouquet of blossoms' at every opportunity. Have the ladies of Willingden determined amongst themselves whose rightful husband he shall be?_

_I have given your suggestion of exploring potential investments considerable thought, and have begun trying to learn more. I find that I do not like the idea of investing in steam power or the like. Such innovations are certainly interesting, and I imagine will bring great and useful changes, but I would never see what my particular investment produced. My money would be just a drop in an ocean of pounds. I would prefer to see what my money was accomplishing, to point to something and say 'I did that'. I suppose I am exceedingly vain. What is the point of having a vulgar amount of money if I cannot be vulgar in my display of it? Perhaps I will build something just to name it after myself, such as the Lambe Museum of Insignificant Trinkets. Does that not sound well?_

_I have not yet approached Sidney about investing. I do not even know if he would allow it. He has been in a devil of a mood these past weeks, and I could not bring myself to start the conversation. He and Mrs. Campion have been gone this past week, however, to some lord's house party in the country, and I hope he returns in a better temper. We had been getting on so well lately that I had almost forgotten how surly and unapproachable he can be. I do not envy Mrs. Campion, as she will have to live with his moods. In truth, Charlotte, my new understanding of the many sides of Sidney Parker has made me aware of how few sides of Otis Molyneux I actually knew. I did not know he gambled, but I also did not know what he was like when he was angry. Is he the sort of man that you cannot speak to until he has had a cup of tea in the morning? Does he raise his voice when irate, or does he glare in silence? I would have run off and married a man that I had only seen through the façade of courtship. I wonder what unpleasant surprises would have been in store for me, as we learned of each other's true natures. It makes me think that one should never marry a man unless they have quarrelled at least once. How else would you know if you want to tie yourself to that person for ever? The more I think about matrimony, the less certain I am that I wish to attempt it._

_I do not know what it is about writing to you, Charlotte, but I seem to put my thoughts on paper to you more easily than I think I would if you were sitting right here beside me. Our correspondence has become almost like keeping a journal, only better because you write back. I would not give up your friendship for anything. Next to Mrs. Annesley, you are the only woman of my acquaintance who makes me think. So write back soon, my dear journal. How do you get on with improving the tenant's cottages?_

_Yours,_

_Georgiana_

* * *

**Willingden**

Charlotte read Georgiana's letter for the third time, dwelling particularly on her descriptions of Sidney's black mood. This news of him had resolved one mystery, at least. She did not want to know that he was unhappy. It gave her no pleasure to think of him being cross, to know that something was amiss with some part of his life. Was it Tom and Sanditon? A different business venture? Was he unhappy with Mrs. Campion? Knowing that Sidney Parker was somewhere out there unhappy left her with too many additional questions and kept him even more in her thoughts than before. She had been better off not knowing.

Taking a fresh sheet of paper and newly trimmed pen, she smiled as she sat down to respond. Despite the pain of repeated mentions of Sidney, she too would not give up Georgiana's friendship for anything. She looked forward to the receipt of each letter, and set aside a full hour or more for penning her reply. Each letter preserved just the smallest bit of her connection to Sanditon, and kept it from fading into the past. The more accustomed Charlotte became with her old routines and habits at home, the more she became aware that home no longer felt like enough. Sanditon had changed her, made her aware of how much more of the world there was that she would now likely never get to see. It disheartened her to think that her one adventure in life was already over. With every letter from Georgiana or from Mary and the children, she could tell herself that her adventure had not _quite_ ended yet.

_Willingden_

_6 October 1819_

_Dear Georgiana,_

_I hope you will forgive my negligence in not reporting on Mr. Taylor's dinner engagement, and shall endeavor to compensate you by describing it now. He arrived in good time, and wore a blue coat. I can now add to my previous information that he has good teeth, and smiles readily. You will be vastly relieved to learn that he not only does not slurp his soup, but also knows how to use a napkin properly. I have not heard him mention bouquets or blossoms even once, not even when old Mrs. Norris asked him in front of several parishioners whether he was smitten yet with any of the local young ladies. He blushed the smallest bit, and stammered a suitably vague reply, causing many a giggle to be heard behind him. He seems pleasant, and his conversation is informed. He likes to read, and seems genuinely motivated to be active on the behalf of the families in the parish. He spoke with my father at length about the best ways to support some of our poorer families, and was overheard uttering the word 'reform'. My father likes him well enough, and I enjoy having someone to talk to who has not known me since I was a child. I see you smiling, Georgiana, and preparing to tease, but do not read too much into this positive report of him. He has come to call twice more, staying once to tea, and I do not believe that I am the Miss Heywood he is coming to visit. I will say nothing more, lest I am mistaken, but I would not be much surprised if I have happy news to share a few months hence. I suppose time will tell, as they say._

_I am no expert on love, and certainly not on matrimony, but your thoughts on knowing one's future husband seem wise to me. I should like to be friends with the man that I marry, before I even agree to become his wife. I want to know that we have similar interests and can converse on many topics. I agree that it would be helpful to know how we handle each other when angry (and I will expand on your thoughts to add that he should know what my temper is like as well). More than seeing his different sides, as you say, I want to know that we challenge each other to be the best version of ourselves. That I make him think and reconsider what he previously held to be true, and that he does the same for me. I would want to know that he not only listens to my opinion, but values it and seeks it out on matters of importance. So you see, Georgiana, I shall quite likely be free in two years time to carry your parcels across France, because I do not expect such a man to come knocking on my father's door. We shall be old maids together, building gaudy and unnecessary constructions to our hearts' content. In return for dealing with your whims and moods, I shall demand an exorbitant sum as my salary and an unreasonable number of days off._

_My father has at last agreed to improve the cottages, and is giving me the very great compliment of soliciting my opinions on the materials and manner of building. I am enjoying the work immensely, though I do wish I could consult with Mr. Stringer. I am no architect, merely an enthusiast. Do you think it would be inappropriate if I included a question or two for him in my next letter to Mary Parker? I think I understand very well your wish to know what you have accomplished. I cannot give money, but I can give my time and effort, and in the end I will be able to stand and look at the improved cottages and say to myself 'I helped create that'. I do not think you vain. Someone I hold dear once asked me whether it was better to sit at home, waiting for someone to take me off my parents' hands, or to try to make my mark in the world and leave it a better place than I found it. I think, Georgiana, that you are looking for your way to make your mark, just as I am looking for my own. Not that the Lambe Museum of Insignificant Trinkets would not be an instant success, of course, but I wonder if perhaps there might not be something different to help build. Perhaps the Lambe Lending Library would do._

_Ask him about investing, Georgiana. Make your mark._

_Your affectionate journal,_

_Charlotte_


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies. I cannot claim them, much as I love them.

**London**

Georgiana waited nervously in the parlour for Sidney's arrival, standing at the window and watching for his figure to appear climbing the steps to Number 4. He had returned to London a few days prior, and had sent round the briefest of notes to inform her that he would see her at their usual Tuesday tea. She sincerely hoped that whatever had been causing his ill humour had been resolved. She had made up her mind to speak with him about investing her fortune, and it would be so much easier to broach the subject if he were in an agreeable mood. Georgiana considered different ways of beginning the conversation, growing so absorbed in her own thoughts that she almost missed seeing Sidney approach.

Within moments, he had knocked and been ushered into the house. Georgiana turned from the window and fixed a smile on her face as he entered the room, looking for any indication of his mood. He seemed tired more than anything else, but the smile he gave her as he bowed gave her courage.

"Good day, Georgiana," he began. "You look well."

"I am, thank you, Sidney. And you? Did you have a pleasant party?" she asked. Should she invite him to sit, or remain standing? Should she wait until they had begin their short walk to Bedford Place? How did one tactfully raise a subject that ladies were not supposed to be interested in?

"It was much as I expected. One always knows beforehand what these house parties will be. But I am glad to be back in London, to resume our teas together. Shall we make our way there now?" Sidney deftly sidestepped the topic of the house party. Eliza had changed her mind last minute to remain for a few more days, at Lord Hampton's particular invitation, and Sidney had returned to London alone, deeply uneasy and displeased with his intended. A woman so concerned with gossip and reputation surely must understand the impression she was giving. What game was she playing? He had spent hours trying to decipher it, but had no answers.

"Of course," Georgiana said, a trifle reluctantly. Her hesitation must have shown, for Sidney paused and raised an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong? Do you not wish to join Arthur and Diana?" he asked.

"No, it is not that! I mean, nothing is wrong, I am perfectly fine. It is just that I, well, I had something I wished to speak to you about, and I do not know how to begin."

"Are you concerned that I will be angry? Have you been plotting to overthrow the government or burn down the Thames in my absence?"

"I have been a perfect angel, Sidney. I've not lit so much as a candle. I have no mischief to confess. I have been thinking a great deal on a certain matter, and need your thoughts, as my guardian. That is all."

"And what is this certain matter?" Sidney asked with great curiosity.

"I wish to discuss investing my inheritance," she said, raising her chin defiantly as though expecting a battle.

"Investing? Wherever did that notion come from?" Sidney asked, astonished. Whatever he had been expecting Georgiana to say, it had not been this.

"I know that my father's wishes were for me to become a lady and take my place in society, and that interest in money matters is considered rather un-ladylike. But my experience with Mr. Molyneux has forced me to think deeply on how many men there are out there who want my money more than they would ever want me. How could I ever believe what a suitor says?" Georgiana responded, her voice cracking slightly with emotion.

"I have no doubt, Georgiana, that there are many men who would genuinely value you for your mind and character. How did your doubts about men and marriage lead you to think on investing?" Sidney asked, still bewildered.

"I wonder if it were known that most of my money was tied up in investments, would it not discourage many fortune hunters? In consulting with Charlotte on this, she suggested that I speak with you. And the more I learn of the world, in my readings with Mrs. Annesley, the more I am drawn to using my money to create something to leave behind me. So that I can look at my life and feel that I accomplished something more than enriching my husband."

"Ah, so Miss Heywood is behind this?" Sidney asked. "Your idea of making it challenging for your husband to access your funds is an intriguing one. And I do understand what it is to wish to leave a legacy of some kind. Will you give me time to think on it, Georgiana? I do not wish to dismiss your thoughts, but we are regrettably late for tea and run the very great risk that Arthur has eaten all of the biscuits."

Georgiana smiled. "Diana would not allow it. She insists on saving the biscuits for me. Although I believe he has been known to sneak a scone or two when she does not notice."

"Then you do not mind if we defer this conversation until a later time? I would like to hear more of what you have in mind, and see if I can learn from the bank whether there would be any restrictions on your capacity to invest. You are my first ward to ask me about this, you know."

"I am your first ward, ever, am I not?" she asked.

"Thankfully, yes," Sidney replied with a smile, holding out his arm to her as they began to leave the room. "This guardian business does keep a man on his toes."

Georgiana chuckled, thinking of the very many ways she had caused trouble for him. They continued their light banter for the two blocks to Bedford Place, where they found Miss Parker scolding Arthur for eating a scone before Miss Lambe even arrived.

"I have eaten only the smallest scone," Arthur protested, "and Miss L does not even care for them, do you, Miss L?" He turned to her in appeal, his face pleading for her to be his ally. Georgiana took pity on him, as she usually did. He was like a puppy, playful and eager in all that he did, and she simply could not treat him the way she would any other grown man.

"I am not the least bit offended, my dear Diana. Arthur knows that I am partial to your cook's biscuits," she said, giving Arthur a quick wink when Diana turned to fuss at something else.

"There, you see, Diana? Miss L does not mind that I had the scone, and neither should you," Arthur said triumphantly, seating himself by the fire. "Come, Miss L, join me over here while Sidney tells us of his travels. I am sure the food at Lord Hampton's was exquisite, and that he has the best cellars. Am I right, Sidney?"

"Hmm? Yes, quite right, Arthur. One would expect nothing less from Lord Hampton." Sidney responded.

'And Mrs. Campion? Did she enjoy herself as well?" Diana asked.

"Very much, I believe. So much so that she remained a few extra days."

"I imagine she needs a break from the wedding plans, now that they have been postponed. She made mention several times of how exhausting she found it," Diana remarked, as she poured the tea. "Is that why she chose to move the wedding to January?"

"I cannot imagine how Tom took the news," Arthur commented, before Sidney could respond. "He must be beside himself."

"Why should Mr. Parker be so concerned with the date of Sidney's wedding?" Georgiana inquired.

"Arthur, really. I do not think we need to bore Miss Lambe with such things," Diana said quickly.

"Why not? Miss L is practically a Parker herself now, aren't you, Miss L? She will not think any less of Tom, or any of us, for knowing of his financial difficulties."

"Arthur, that is enough!" Sidney said sharply, at the same time Diana hissed his name. Georgiana looked at each Parker, noting their different expressions. Diana was apprehensively looking at Sidney, Sidney was glaring at Arthur, and Arthur was looking back with surprise, clearly confused at his elder siblings' reaction.

"Sidney, what is going on?" Georgiana asked cautiously. "What financial troubles does Mr. Parker have, and what does this have to do with your wedding to Mrs. Campion?"

"Georgiana, I beg you, pay Arthur no mind. He spoke out of turn," Sidney replied, his voice inviting no further questions.

"Quite right," Diana hastily agreed. "I daresay Arthur was just confused."

"I suppose I was mistaken, Miss L," Arthur said slowly, looking from his sister's pale countenance to his brother's stern one. "Forgive me."

Georgiana began to press her inquiry, and then quickly thought the better of it. She instead assured the Parkers that she would think nothing of whatever Arthur had said, and allowed Sidney to change the topic to the new medical treatment that Diana was curious to try to alleviate her various agues and rashes. Georgiana said very little for the remainder of the afternoon. There was something curious happening around her, and she was determined to figure it out. Why would Sidney's wedding date be of such significance to his brother? She could readily understand Sidney being displeased with a postponed wedding, and wondered if that was the cause of his black mood prior to Lord Hampton's party. Yes, that made a great deal of sense. If Sidney were very much in love with Mrs. Campion, as she had been given to understand, then he would have good cause to be in a temper at having to wait even longer for her. But was Mrs. Campion not very much in love with Sidney as well? Was planning a wedding truly so exhausting, as Diana suggested, that Mrs. Campion would wait four additional months to marry? That seemed less plausible the more Georgiana considered it. And what possible connection could there be between Mr. Tom Parker's finances and Mrs. Campion?

As Georgiana sat by the Parker's fire, other recollections began to push their way to the front of her mind, and a new pattern began to take shape. And if these new suspicions were correct, then Sidney did not love Mrs. Campion after all!

"Georgiana?" she heard her name called sharply, as though it had been repeated several times prior.

"Forgive me, my mind seems to have wandered off," she said, looking to find all three Parkers watching her.

"You seem unwell, my dear," Diana began to fuss. "Can I get you an elderberry tonic? Or perhaps an infusion of cress and onion blossom? I have not tried it myself, but I have heard it is extremely effective for settling the nerves. Or was it for the headache?"

"No, no, I thank you. I am well. I think I have been sitting by the fire too long, that is all. Sidney, would you be so kind as to escort me back to Robert Street?" Georgiana rose, steadfastly refusing any of Diana's remedies or the Arthur's offer to engage a sedan chair to carry her. A walk would do her good, she insisted, and after several more minutes found herself walking outside with Sidney.

"I wish you to come inside, Sidney, if you can spare me a few more minutes," Georgiana said after several minutes of silence, her voice trembling with suppressed anger. "I have much I wish to say, and the street is no place for it."

"My luck has been abysmal of late, so I cannot say I am surprised," Sidney sighed. "You are fully aware, Georgiana, that I have absolutely no desire to have this conversation with you, are you not? Are you so determined to push me on this?"

"I am not eager to quarrel with you," Georgiana replied, "but it will be worse if you leave me to my thoughts. I am hoping you will tell me that I am mistaken, and there is another explanation than the one I currently suspect to be true." They reached Robert Street, and entered Number 4 without speaking another word. Georgiana proceeded into the parlour, took a seat on the sofa, and motioned Sidney into a chair. He sat, rubbed his hand impatiently through his hair, and looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" he said.

"I need to know you will be honest with me, Sidney. I feel as though I have been deliberately mislead these past months. I had started to trust you, and believe in your word, and now this!"

"Out with it, Georgiana. What is it you accuse me of?"

"Are you marrying Mrs. Campion for her money?" Georgiana asked baldly.

"It pains me to say it, but yes. I have no choice."

"You miserable hypocrite!" Georgiana burst out, rising from her chair and pacing around the room. "I knew it! The moment Arthur mentioned your brother Tom's finances, it all fell into place. You disgust me."

"You can hardly despise me more than I despise myself, Georgiana. But I deny any accusation of hypocrisy," he said wearily, rising to his feet.

"How can you? You are the worst sort of hypocrite, Sidney. You ruined my happiness with Mr. Molyneux on the grounds that he was a fortune hunter, and you are no better!" she spat back at him, her voice rising.

"Mr. Molyneux was an inveterate gambler, who used your name and sold you into an unwanted marriage to keep himself out of debtor's prison. I have sacrificed everything, in order to save my brother from ruin. Do you really see no difference? Are you so determined to condemn me?" Sidney shot back.

"What can _you_ possibly have sacrificed?" Georgiana asked, her voice dripping with scorn. She paused in her pacing, confused by Sidney's comment. A thousand thoughts rushed into her head at once, and she latched on to one of them. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Tell me you do not mean Charlotte. Did I not warn you at the Midsummer's ball not to trifle with her? Tell me you did not break her heart, Sidney!" She began pacing again, her agitation evident.

"I broke my own!" Sidney shouted, his self-control snapping. "Had it not been for that infernal fire, she would have been my wife by now! I have been in misery of the acutest kind since the moment I was obligated to engage myself to Eliza. Do you think there is any insult you can sling at me that I have not called myself ten times over? Are you such a child that you still think love conquers all?" He sighed, exhausted from the burst of emotion. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter, but no less full of emotion. "I see what you are feeling, Georgiana, and I am sorry to have sunk so low in your estimation. You will not wish to believe me, but I think even more poorly of myself than you can possibly."

Georgiana said nothing. She had sat down abruptly, when Sidney accused her of being a child, and his own angry outburst robbed her of speech. She had seen Sidney angry many times, but always at her. She had never seen him so clearly angry with himself. Angry, anguished and miserable, he had not responded to her the way she had anticipated. She had thought he would deflect or attempt to justify his actions, the way Otis had. She had not really considered that Sidney had a heart to be broken.

"I will take my leave of you," Sidney said, when Georgiana did not say anything for several moments. The tension in the room was unbearable. She did not know what to think or say, and Sidney had already begun to regret that he had said as much as he did. "I will understand if you do not wish for presence at tea on Thursday. If you wish for my escort, please send me a note. Otherwise, I will make plans to be elsewhere that afternoon." With a slight bow and one searching look, Sidney left the room. Georgiana heard the front door close behind him a moment later.

She remained seated in the parlour, deeply distressed and confused by all that she had learned this afternoon. She had believed the tale of star-crossed lovers that Mrs. Campion had put about. She had convinced herself that she had been mistaken to suspect an attachment between Charlotte and Sidney. Was she truly as childish as Sidney accused? Was she so self-absorbed that she had failed to see what was happening with the people around her? How had she gotten everything so wrong?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies, even Mrs. Annesley.
> 
> Note: Just in case any of you were curious about the timeline, I am assuming it takes 3-4 days for a letter to get from London to Willingden. The illuminating tea at the Parkers of Chapter 12 took place on Tues, Oct 6, the same day that Charlotte wrote her last letter. Georgiana had not yet received it. The events of this chapter take place 4 days after the last one.

**London**

Georgiana sat on her bed, holding Charlotte's most recent letter in her hand. Previous letters were strewn around her. She had read this particular letter several times already, and had opened it again to read the second passage yet again. _'I want to know that we challenge each other to be the best version of ourselves.'_ If Arthur had not been indiscreet last week, if Georgiana had not become aware that Sidney and Charlotte had, in fact, formed an attachment, would she have missed what was now so obvious? Charlotte's written words immediately brought to mind their conversation in Sanditon on the morning of the Midsummer's ball. Georgiana had heard the truth in her friend's voice and seen it in her expression that day, when she had revealed what Sidney had said to her after the regatta. She had recognized the truth, and then taught herself to deny it because it suited her better that way.

Georgiana picked up a different letter, understanding for the first time that Charlotte's insistence that her heart was unlikely to be touched was not an expression of independence, but of heartache. She had read what she wished to read- that her friend was as uninterested in matrimony as she herself was, and attributed it to a similar cause. How blind she had been! How much pain had her own letters unwittingly caused the friend she held most dear? Was there a single one she had written that did not mention Sidney, or Mrs. Campion, or marriage?

"Georgiana, dear?" Mrs. Annesley's soft voice could be heard on the other side of her door. "You have not been down since you received your letter. Is aught amiss?"

Georgiana did not answer. It seemed that every thing was amiss. The firm foundation she thought she had built in her new London life had suddenly turned to bog beneath her, and she did not know how to make it solid again. She had feigned a headache this Thursday past, feeling unequal to spending her customary afternoon in Bedford Place. She had sent no note to Sidney, her thoughts about him far too confused to even know what she would say.

"Georgiana?" Mrs. Annesley's voice held a note of concern. "Might I come in?"

"Yes, Mrs. Annesley," Georgiana replied. She had learned from her time with Mrs. Griffiths that there was little point in saying no. The more you made it clear you wished to be alone, the more they refused to allow it.

Mrs. Annesley entered the room, and closed the door gently behind her. She took in Georgiana's red rimmed eyes, the letters spread over the bed, and the forlorn expression on her charge's face, and swiftly crossed the room to sit beside her. "Whatever is the matter, child?" she asked gently, taking one of Georgiana's hands in hers. "Have you received bad news?"

"It is nothing like that, Mrs. Annesley. I, well…I have recently become aware of a rather uncomfortable truth, and I do not know what to do about it."

"And this truth is something shared with you in these letters?" Mrs. Annesley inquired, wondering what Miss Heywood could possibly have revealed. Miss Lambe did not have a very numerous correspondence.

"The letters?" Georgiana looked about her, as if noticing for the first time that her bed was strewn with papers. "No, I mean, yes…well, not exactly." Mrs. Annesley's calm manners and caring expression invited confidence, but how much should Georgiana share? She knew she ought not reveal what she had learned about Sidney's engagement to Mrs. Campion. She had no particular affection for Mr. Tom Parker, but his financial difficulties were no one else's concern. And poor Charlotte, trying so hard to be happy in the country, would surely be mortified if others knew of her disappointment. How could she relieve her own feelings and get the counsel she so desperately needed, when there seemed an embargo on every possible avenue of conversation? "I do not know where to begin, or what I ought to say."

"Perhaps it will help if I ask questions?" Mrs. Annesley suggested. Georgiana nodded. "I do not wish to force a confidence, dear, but I must ask if you are in any sort of trouble?" At the quick shake of Georgiana's head, Mrs. Annesley let out a quiet sigh of relief. Girls this age, in her experience, with too much money and nothing to do with their minds, were all too prone to finding their way into mischief. "Is a friend in trouble? No? Hmmm…let's see. You mentioned an 'uncomfortable truth'. Did someone betray your trust or deceive you in some way?"

"I thought they had," Georgiana finally spoke. "I said some terrible things in anger, because I believed that someone I had come to trust had behaved deceitfully. Yet the more I think on it, the more I realize that I have deceived myself. I have judged him so harshly, time and again, and I am ashamed of myself."

"There is a gentleman involved in this? Have I made his acquaintance?" Mrs. Annesley was deeply surprised at reference to a man. She had been informed of her charge's history with Mr. Molyneux, but had seen no indication that Georgiana was in any contact with him at all. Mr. Parker would be extremely concerned and displeased if Georgiana had been corresponding with him in secret.

Georgiana looked at her, bewildered. Mr. Molyneux was so far from her thoughts at that moment that it did not even occur to her that was the conclusion Mrs. Annesley had drawn. Of course Mrs. Annesley was acquainted with the man who had hired her! "Certainly you know him. Is it not obvious whom I am speaking of?"

Mrs. Annesley thought quickly. The only two gentlemen that Miss Lambe had frequent cause to meet were the brothers Parker. Mr. Arthur was unlikely to create the sort of distress that Georgiana was exhibiting, which left only one logical possibility. "Let me be certain that I understand you. Are you speaking of Mr. Sidney Parker?"

"Of course," Georgiana replied. "I have treated him so poorly over the past months that I do not wonder if he should quite despise me now."

"I am sure that is not the case, dear. In my brief acquaintance with him, I would say he has been a most attentive guardian, and takes his duty to you seriously. He seems quite fond of you, and to care a great deal for your wellbeing." Mrs. Annesley felt herself growing more confused by the moment. She had been with Miss Lambe for only a brief time, but she would have described the relationship between her charge and her employer as extremely civil, if not friendly and familial. She had seen nothing to give cause to this sort of dramatics.

"You see?" Georgiana burst out, "You have taken his measure more accurately in weeks than I have done in the entire course of my acquaintance with him! He was right to call me a child. I have been willfully ignorant and selfish, and I hate myself for it."

"Come, come, my dear. I am sure it is not as bad as all that," Mrs. Annesley soothed. Never had she had a charge more in need of mothering than Miss Lambe. The poor child needed a proper family, not just family teas twice weekly. "Tell me what it is you think you have done, and we shall find a way to make it better."

Haltingly, Georgiana confessed how she had treated Sidney since he assumed her guardianship. How she had decided from the beginning that Sidney was not a good man, because he was cold and dismissive of her. How she corresponded with Mr. Molyneux, and even met with him against Sidney's wishes. How she repeatedly told him he was not to be trusted, and how she tried to convince Charlotte of the same. How she refused to accept his apologies for his shortcomings or his professed desire to make amends, and had responded to him time and again with petulance. Mrs. Annesley listened patiently, and waited for Georgiana to end her recitation of her mistakes.

"It sounds to me, my dear, as though you formed your opinion of Mr. Sidney at the outset, and then refused to change it. You were displeased with his abrasive manner, and determined that he was not a kind man. If he were not a kind man, then he could not be a good man. And if he were not a good man, then you had no need to obey his strictures and rules. Have I got it right?"

"I feel so stupid, when you say it that way!" Georgiana sobbed. "I called him a hypocrite, but I am the one guilty of hypocrisy. I have railed against being judged by society and yet I have been judging him from the beginning!"

"Now, enough tears, Georgiana, and enough hysterics" Mrs. Annesley replied. Sometimes mothering was not always gentle. "Do you truly believe that you have said or done anything that cannot be repaired?"

"I do not know what to believe. I can scarcely trust my own judgement anymore. I was wrong about Otis, wrong about Sidney, wrong about everything," she said despondently.

"Let's stick to Mr. Sidney for now, shall we?" Mrs. Annesley brushed aside Georgiana's exaggerations. "You say you were wrong about him. You no longer believe him cold? What has shown him to be otherwise?"

"I suppose that once I stopped treating him with disdain and anger, I have seen gentleness and humour in him. He can be very pleasant company, when he is not in a temper."

"Do you think him capable of kindness?"

"Was there no kindness in his inviting me to tea twice weekly with his family? Or in his allowing Mr. Molynuex to bid me a final farewell, and then pay his debts? He does not boast of his kind acts, but I do believe him capable of them. I see where you are leading, Mrs. Annesley, and yes, I believe he is a good man, after all. He may not relish his duties as my guardian, or the choices he has made for the good of his family, but he puts the needs of others before his own happiness. It is more than I can say for myself."

"Ah, I think we are now coming to the heart of it," Mrs. Annesley responded, smiling slightly as Georgiana began to display a bit more of her usual spirit. "Which is your uncomfortable truth? That Mr. Sidney turns out to be a good man, or that you are dissatisfied with your own behaviour?"

"The latter, I am afraid. The more I began realizing just how much Sidney has done for others, without boasting or complaining or making any attempt to even draw attention to his actions, the less content I am to examine my own actions. What have I done for anyone around me? Mr. Arthur and Miss Parker have me to tea twice weekly, but have I asked them to come for an afternoon here? I have reciprocated nothing. The more I examine my past, and present, behaviour, the more I begin to wonder whether perhaps I am not a very good sort of person myself. It is a very uncomfortable truth indeed."

"If that is the case, my child, then my advice would be to begin to make amends. It is never too late to take the smallest of steps. Your idea of inviting the Parkers is an excellent first one."

"I believe I shall. Mr. Arthur is particularly fond of scones. Perhaps Cook might make some, especial for Tuesday?"

"I am sure that can be arranged. I shall go ask directly. Now clean up these letters, and send your invitation over to Bedford Place. You will feel better as soon as it is done." After a few more encouraging words, Mrs. Annesley left Georgiana to her tasks. Within moments, Georgiana had dashed off a quick note to Miss Parker, suggesting that they be her guests this Tuesday in thanks for their hospitality of the past weeks. She sat still for a moment, thinking deeply, and then slowly drew out a second piece of paper. After a moment's pause, she began to write a much more difficult note. Mrs. Annesley was right. She was beginning to feel better already.

* * *

_Number 4 Robert Street_

_10 October 1819_

_Dear Sidney,_

_I have been thinking very much on our conversation last week, and deeply regret what I have said. I am hoping that you can not only forgive me, but can find time to call upon me. I would like to discuss my investment options in Sanditon._

_Your ward, and friend,_

_Georgiana L._


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.

**Willingden**

"Charlotte! Charlotte, you must come at once!" Alison burst into the garden, where Charlotte was carefully digging up a specimen of camellia, in the hopes of transferring it to a sunnier spot. Charlotte looked up in surprise at her sister's unexpected appearance and agitated manner.

"Heavens, Alison! What has happened?" Charlotte stood and hastily began removing her gardening gloves and dirty apron. Her mind immediately began imagining a variety of accidents and injuries. "Is someone hurt?"

"What? No, nothing like that, Charlotte. You need not worry on that score. But Mamma said to fetch you at once." Alison said, panting after her dash into the garden.

"Whatever for?" Charlotte said, confused. She set her gardening clothes aside on a low bench, and began to move in the direction of the house as quickly as she could.

"I do not know," her sister replied, matching Charlotte's quick pace. "The post arrived, and Mamma has had a letter. She read it once, passed it to Papa, and then sent me to bring you straight away."

"A letter? From where? From whom?" Charlotte's curiosity grew with every small bit of information her sister gave. Her mother had a fairly large correspondence, having kept of many of the acquaintances of her youth, but Charlotte could not imagine why any of those letters would concern her in the slightest.

"I do not know, Charlotte! I have told you everything!" Alison insisted. The girls arrived at the house, and went straight to the drawing room, where their mother always read her letters. Mrs. Heywood was sitting exactly where her daughters had expected, at the small writing desk in the corner of the room. Mr. Heywood was pacing by the fireplace, a slight frown on his face.

"You have sent for me, Mamma?" Charlotte asked, breathless from both her quick walk and her growing agitation.

"Ah yes, there you are, Charlotte. Come here, child, and have a seat. Your father and I wish to speak with you," Mrs. Heywood gestured towards an arm chair. Alison, forgotten for the moment, quietly seated herself out of her mother's line of sight. "I have received the most surprising letter today, from a person I have never encountered in all my life, but I think they may not be such a stranger to you."

"From who, Mamma? I cannot imagine who you mean." Charlotte briefly ran through her Sanditon acquaintances, but none of them seemed a likely candidate. Her parents knew Mary and Tom Parker, and there was no one else who could have the least reason for writing to Mrs. Heywood.

"Charlotte, what do you know of a Lady Worchester?" Mr. Heywood asked, still pacing by the fireplace.

"Susan?" Charlotte asked, surprised. That was one of the last names she would ever have imagined her father uttering! "I made her acquaintance in London this past summer, and then again at the regatta. I told you of the masked ball, Mamma, do you not remember? Susan was very kind to me there, when I knew almost no one other than Mr. Tom and Mr. Sidney Parker."

"Yes, I remember the ball," Mrs. Heywood replied, looking down at the letter in her hand. She looked up at her eldest daughter. "And then you saw her again in Sanditon, you say?"

"Yes, at the regatta. She showed me very kind attention, and introduced me to many of her London acquaintances. Mamma, Papa, why do you ask me about her? What is in that letter?" Charlotte could no longer bear the suspense.

"You have met Lady Worchester only twice, but you refer to her as Susan?" Mr. Heywood asked. "I cannot say I have met very many countesses, Charlotte, but I cannot imagine calling one by her Christian name.

"She told me to call her Susan, Papa," Charlotte responded. "From the moment I met her, in fact. She did not even give me a surname or title, but only called herself 'Susan'. Indeed, I had no idea she was a countess at the time! And when we met again in Sanditon, she would not permit me to address her as 'my lady'. Every time I attempted it, she would correct me with her Christian name. Was that wrong of me?" Charlotte found her confusion growing more, not less, as her parents asked her more questions. Had someone taken exception to her interactions with Susan, and written to her parents about it? Who would ever care so much about what Charlotte Heywood did or said?

"No, I suppose it is not, if the countess herself wished it," Mr. Heywood answered, falling silent once again. His grave demeanour was making Charlotte uneasy. What had she done wrong? Why was he displeased with her?

"Papa, please explain what is going on!" Charlotte cried. "I do not understand why you sent for me, or why you are asking me these questions about Lady Worchester."

The letter is from Lady Worchester herself," Mrs. Heywood responded, when Mr. Heywood said nothing. "Perhaps I shall just read it to you?"

_Worchester House_

_7 October 1819_

_My esteemed Mrs. Heywood,_

_Please forgive me for taking the liberty of writing to you without a proper introduction. I imagine that receiving a letter of this nature from a total stranger is rather surprising, and I beg you will not hold it against me. I do not know if your daughter, Miss Charlotte Heywood, has mentioned me at all. I hope that she has, for then perhaps my request will not seem so wholly out of place._

_Having made the acquaintance of your charming daughter this past summer, I am hoping that Mr. Heywood and yourself will consent to permitting Miss Heywood to be my guest in London for an extended visit this winter. I have no children of my own, you see, and very much wish for the pleasure of her company. Miss Heywood has an honesty and intelligence that is exceedingly rare in young ladies, combined with gentle humour and good nature. She has made quite the impression on me, and I wish to be allowed to offer proof of my affection and regard for her._

_If you will grant your consent, I would further ask that you allow me to sponsor her, so to say, in society. In the words of the poet Thomas Gray, "many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its sweetness on the desert air." I would hate for this to be the fate of such a young woman as your daughter._

_I would be delighted to come to Willingden myself, to bring Miss Heywood to London. Perhaps if you have the chance to meet me in person, you will decide that I am suitable to have the charge of your daughter. With your consent, I will arrive on Monday the first of November, and trespass on your kindness for the one night, before departing with Miss Heywood the following morning._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Lady Susan, Countess Worchester_

"Susan wishes me to sponsor me for a season?" Charlotte exclaimed. "That is extremely kind and generous of her! What will you respond, Mamma?"

"I believe we were hoping you could help us decide that, dear. I know less of this Lady Worchester than I did of Mary Parker. What sort of woman is she?"

"She has been very kind and attentive to me, as I have said. Beyond that, I know she is very popular and influential in the _beau monde_. I have heard it said that she is the particular friend of the Prince Regent himself," Charlotte replied, though she knew this honest answer would not be to her friend's credit, in her parents eyes. They cared as little for fashion and popularity as any other country family that did not visit Town.

"And her friends? I should not like you to be included in a fast set, Charlotte. I cannot imagine my daughter at the sort of parties one associates with the Prince Regent," Mr. Heywood's frown deepened. First a seaside resort, now London! Why did daughters have to grow up into young ladies?

"I do not think she is that sort of woman, sir," Charlotte answered. "At the ball where I met her, she was sitting quietly in the retiring room, with a book. I have never seen her place herself in the centre of the activity."

"I am not opposed to a London season," her mother commented. "You know that your father and I have no objection to our children seeing more of the world. But who is Lady Worchester to have the charge of you, Charlotte? What sort of chaperone would she be?"

"I am not sure I wish for you to stay with a countess for an extended visit," Mr. Heywood added. "Her professed esteem for you aside, how does the daughter of a country gentlemen move in the same circles as the nobility? I would not wish for you to grow discontent with who your family is, Charlotte, or begin to wish for impossibilities. You have already been less content since returning from Sanditon."

Charlotte turned her face away from her parents momentarily, embarrassed that they had noticed the changes in her since her return home. She had tried so hard, especially since confiding in Alison, to be her old self again. Looking back at her mother and father, she tried to find words to ease their minds. "I am not dissatisfied with who my family is, Papa, and I am beyond sorry that you have thought so. If I seem less happy than before, I suppose it is because seeing more of the world has led me to know myself better, and that is not always comfortable."

"What is it you have learned about yourself?" Mrs. Heywood inquired gently.

"That I wish for a true partnership when I marry, to a man who will pay me the respect of treating me as a rational, intelligent being. That I can be useful and helpful in ways other than with the children or running a household," Charlotte answered, and then hastily added, "though I do, of course, wish for a home and children of my own."

Mrs. Heywood glanced at her husband, wondering how he would respond to his daughter's views on matrimony. When Mr. Heywood remained silent, she took it upon herself to continue the conversation. "I am sure you will find a husband who values you as he should, my dear. Let us return to the topic at hand. Your father has raised his concerns about the suitability of Lady Worchester's offer, but you have not yet given us your thoughts on it. Do you wish to go to London, so soon after you have returned home?"

"Had this letter arrived even a month ago, Mamma, I think I would have said that I preferred to remain at home. Yet I think I do wish to go. I would like to spend time with Susan again, and it will give me a chance to see Miss Lambe again, and Miss Parker and Mr. Arthur Parker. I never thought I would say this, but I have friends in London now. I was only in London for the one evening before, and had hardly a single acquaintance. Further, this may be my only chance to have anything like a Season, and I should not wish to squander it. I do wish to marry, and we cannot pretend that there are enough eligible choices for all of the many Miss Heywoods here in Willingden," Charlotte answered, with her usual honesty. Alison, from her quiet corner, looked at her sister in surprise. Charlotte was singing quite a different tune than when Georgiana's invitation had arrived. What had made this change?

Mr. Heywood gave a soft "Hmmph," which his wife interpreted for his daughter. "It is hard knowing that one's daughters must grow up and marry. As you say, there are not so many potential husbands here so that we might keep you all close by. We had not considered that you might venture as far as London, though, dear."

"I cannot guarantee that I will find a husband in London either, Mamma. Lady Worchester may be forced to admit defeat, and return me to you in a few months' time." Charlotte's attempt at levity brought a slight smile to Mrs. Heywood, but none to Mr. Heywood. He remained grave and silent, and Charlotte could not bear it. "Papa, if you do not think it is right for me to go, then we will refuse the offer. I do not wish to make you unhappy or give you any cause for alarm."

Her father sighed heavily. "No, child, you do not make me unhappy. I do not like to part with you again so soon, but I cannot imagine how you will find a husband who deserves you if I keep you tied to home."

"Then you give your consent? I may go to London?" Charlotte's eyes lit up.

"I am inclined to allow it," Mr. Heywood responded, "though I would like to think on it for another day or two before your mother sends her reply."

"I understand, Papa. Thank you, Papa! Thank you, Mamma!" Charlotte got up from her seat, and rushed to embrace her mother.

"I am no longer in any doubt about how you feel about this offer," Mrs. Heywood laughed, pleased to see Charlotte so happy. "I almost forgot, her ladyship included a note for you as well. I suppose you would like to read it?" She handed Charlotte a small, sealed envelope of hot-pressed paper. "Now be off with you. Your father and I wish to speak alone."

Charlotte took her letter back to the garden. Within moments, Alison joined her. "Charlotte, you have all the luck! But I thought you did not wish to go to London. Did you not turn down Miss Lambe's invitation because you thought it best? What has changed?"

"I suppose I would rather find out what my next adventure will bring me, instead of sitting at home remembering my only adventure," Charlotte explained. "I refuse to spend my life pining for a married man. London is a city of a million people, Alison. Surely one of them must be compatible with me?"

"And Lady Susan's note? What does she say to you?"

"I have not yet read it," Charlotte confessed, and opened the letter. It contained only a few lines, and Charlotte quickly read them and passed the note to her sister.

_My dear Charlotte,_

_Remember our last conversation. There is no foregone conclusion, and I am never wrong._

_Do not fuss overmuch about your packing. I intend to make an appointment for you with my modiste._

_Yours,_

_Susan_

Alison looked up from the letter, confused. "I cannot make heads or tails of this, Charlotte. Whatever does she mean?"

Charlotte looked back at her sister, her eyes wide in half-laughing alarm. "It means, Alison, that Susan has decided to play matchmaker."

"Matchmaker?! With whom?"

"If I am not mistaken…with Mr. Sidney Parker."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.

**London**

_Number 7 Bedford Place_

_11 October 1819_

_Dear Georgiana,_

_I was very pleased to receive your note, and would be happy to call upon you tomorrow, before escorting you to tea with Diana and Arthur. They send their best wishes, and hopes that your headache is no longer plaguing you. We can certainly discuss your investment options. You do not need to worry about Sanditon._

_Yours,_

_S.P._

Georgiana puzzled over Sidney's reply to her overture, as she awaited him in her front parlour. She had puzzled over it all of yesterday evening, and awoke this morning to puzzle over it anew. Why would he reject her offer to invest in Sanditon? Was it not the obvious answer to his problems? It had seemed such a logical way to make amends, when she penned her note two days past. Surely a man of Sidney's intelligence and understanding would see that.

"Mr. Parker has arrived, Miss," her footman announced, followed immediately by Sidney's entering the room. He made Georgiana a more formal bow than usual, his eyes searching her countenance for some indication of where they stood after their last encounter. She responded with a deeper curtsey than usual, just as uncertain as to how he regarded her after everything she had said.

"Good afternoon, Sidney. I am glad you have come," she greeted him. She wished to say more, but could not think of what to say. She dearly wished for Sidney to broach the topic.

"I was glad to be invited. I was not certain when I might hope to hear from you," he replied, equally uncertain as to what he should say. "I do not like being at odds with you, Georgiana."

"Nor I," she said quickly. "And we should not have been. I owe you a thousand apologies, Sidney. Your marriage to Mrs. Campion is none of my business, and I had no right to speak to you the way I did."

"I will only accept one apology, Georgiana," Sidney replied, with half a smile. "You will have to keep the others. For my part, please believe that it was never my intention to make you feel deceived. I did not intend for the true, and sordid, reasons behind my engagement to ever become known to anyone, but I do not like you thinking that I mislead you on purpose. Forgive me."

"You do not owe me any apology," Georgiana said softly. "Why should you have needed to confide such a truth to me? I am your ward. I wish us to be friends, but your business is your own. It was exceedingly selfish to make the conversation about me at all, I see that now. You were right to call me childish."

Sidney winced slightly. "You did not deserve it, Georgiana. I have a temper, I know, and I speak too harshly when I am angry. It was inexcusable of me."

"But I did deserve it, Sidney. I have had a few days to think on it, and our…quarrel has made me uncomfortably aware of how childish I have been, especially towards you. You do not need to try to make me feel better by saying I have not been. I do not want to be the sort of person who is afraid to hear the truth of their flaws."

"Then let us both accept the apologies we have been given, and say no more on it?" Sidney suggested. "We do not need to go over old ground again and again. We will be friends, at least until the next time I make a decision that you object to." He smiled, to take any sting from his words.

Georgiana smiled back, relieved not to have to explain all of the many revelations about herself that she had already shared with Mrs. Annesley. It was one thing to finally realize one's own many flaws. It was quite another to say them out loud. "Friends then, until the next time I react too strongly to something I should not," she agreed. "So shall we discuss my investment options? I am serious about Sanditon, Sidney."

"Georgiana, there is no need for that. Arthur spoke out of turn. Sanditon is fine, and there are other options that will do better for you. I have been looking into different companies being formed to develop various machineries, for my own investments, and I think you may find some of them interesting."

"Why do you try to put me off Sanditon, Sidney?" Georgiana pressed, unwilling to give in so easily. "Was that not the entire purpose of the regatta and the Midsummer ball? To create interest in Sanditon and lure wealthy patrons? I am wealthy, vulgarly so, and I wish to be a patroness. Surely Lady Denham can make some room for another great lady in the area?"

"I am not putting you off, Georgiana. I think you wish to invest in Sanditon because you feel guilty about our row last week, and you think to make amends. There is no need for that. It is by no means a sound investment, and I would not be doing my duty as your guardian to encourage such speculation," Sidney explained impatiently.

"It is not a sound investment? Have you not put some of your own money into Sanditon?" Georgiana continued, undeterred.

"Certainly, I have, but that is different. I am a Parker. I could hardly say no to my own brother."

"And if the Terrace had not burned, would your investment have paid off?"

"It looked that way, yes. The regatta had been successful beyond Tom's hopes, and several members of London's elite were leasing homes for the remainder of the summer. But the fire changed everything. It is a perfect example of how uncertain an investment such land speculation can be. You prove my point for me."

"I hardly think a fire like that will happen again," Georgiana replied. "If every precaution were taken, and insurance purchased, what stands in the way of your investment being lucrative in the end?"

"Nothing but time and chance, I suppose," Sidney acknowledged. "Either Sanditon will take off as Tom hopes, or it will remain precisely as it is now. Perhaps sea bathing will go out of fashion in two years. What happens then?"

"What does happen then, Sidney? What do you do when one of your other investments does not work out as you hoped?"

"I write it off as a bad experiment, do what I can to regain whatever monies can be regained, and move on," Sidney said. "That is the nature of investing."

"Then why do you wish to stop me from doing the same? If I invest in Sanditon, is it not _more_ likely to succeed? When word gets out that a wealthy Negress has chosen to put her money into developing this one seaside resort, will that not create more interest? We both make good on our investment, and then move on to other ones," Georgiana persisted.

"And if it does not? If you take the bulk of what your father left you, and Sanditon never becomes any more fashionable than it is right now?"

"Then I am no longer burdened by more money than I want," Georgiana said earnestly. "I am not being childish in this, Sidney, for I have given it a great deal of thought. The interest on twenty thousand pounds is more than sufficient for my needs, in the event that I do not marry. If I do find myself persuaded to enter the married state, a dowry of twenty thousand is perfectly sufficient for me to retain my title of heiress. I can lose money in any investment, it seems, so why not take that risk with something that matters to me?"

"Since when has Sanditon mattered to you?" Sidney asked, bemused. "Last I knew, you hated the place."

"I do not want to live there for the rest of my life," Georgiana acknowledged, "but it matters to the people who matter to me. I do not have many friends, you know. I do not know if that is a reflection of my skin or my character. But your brother Arthur said that I am practically a Parker now, and that has resonated with me more deeply than I would have imagined. If all the other Parkers have done what they can for Sanditon, then I wish to do the same. I am determined, Sidney. You shall not persuade me otherwise."

"You realize how it will look?" Sidney countered, trying to make her see reason. "People will think that I have bamboozled you into parting with your money for my brother's pet project. I will be seen a little better than a thief, and you will be a gullible mark. You cannot want that."

"Then we do what we can to prevent that," Georgiana said, dismissively. "We draw up contracts or agreements, or some such, with my stipulations as to how my money may be spent. We make sure that the Lambe name goes on a building, if that makes it clear that I am the one making the decisions. Surely there must be a way to do this so that anyone paying attention knows that I have a brain in my head, and that you are no criminal."

Sidney gave her a speculative look. "I imagine we could do just that," he agreed. "Let me think on it. I have not said yes, yet."

"You will. It is the logical answer," she replied with confidence.

Sidney smiled at that, but made no immediate answer. Georgiana hesitantly asked the one question she most feared to ask and to which she most wanted an answer. "Sidney, if you agree to allow this…will you still have to marry _her_?"

"Yes," Sidney replied ruefully. "I see no way out of that, without violating my own honour as a gentleman. But I would no longer need to despise myself for marrying Mrs. Campion for her money. My marriage would only be half a fraud, instead of a whole one."

"Then I hope you will accept my offer," Georgiana said firmly. "You are no fortune hunter, and I will not have you be seen as one."

"Georgiana, while I appreciate your wish to defend my honour, I will not factor my marriage to Mrs. Campion into a decision about your inheritance. Let that be rightly understood. If you wish to invest in Sanditon, and if I decide to allow it, then it will be because it is a tolerable financial risk. There is no room for sentiment in business. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly," Georgiana replied. "I am still confident you will agree. Now shall we go to Bedford Place? I am quite ready for tea."

* * *

_Willingden_

_15 October 1819_

_My dearest Georgiana,_

_You will never believe what has happened! Nothing less than an invitation from Lady Worchester herself, to be her companion and guest in London for the winter. What is more, she wishes to sponsor me for the Season! It seems you will have your wish of us being together to go shopping and enjoy the town's amusements, after all._

_Do not be angry with me for turning down your kind invitation, but accepting Lady W's. Please believe that my parents have been quite undecided about allowing me to come to town. They have just now finally given their consent, after days of discussing it. My mother is even now penning her reply to her ladyship, as I write to you. My father worries that staying with a countess will fill my head with all sorts of nonsense and that I will forget my place, or some such. I am not worried. I have no desire to be a fine lady, and I think I would be horrible at it in any case. But I am looking forward to seeing you again. I believe I am to arrive on the 2_ _nd_ _of November, and I will send you a note with my London direction as soon as I am settled. I am sure Lady W will have no objection to my giving you an afternoon here and there, or including you in our shopping expeditions. I must own, I do not know what to expect. How does a countess spend her days? There is only so much shopping one can do, after all._

_Write back quickly, so that I know you have forgiven me. I am still awaiting your reply to my last, and hope now that you have not yet posted it. You must add to it and tell me much more about life in town, so that I am not a complete country bumpkin. I would not wish to embarrass Lady W, after her kindness to me. I do not wish particularly to embarrass myself, for that matter._

_Yours, etc._

_Charlotte_


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I cannot take credit for any of these characters, with the exception of Lord Hampton (and really, who would want to take credit for him?) and Mr. Taylor. The others all belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.

_Number 7 Bedford Place_

_15 October 1819_

_Georgiana,_

_I have been thinking over your proposition, and have determined that perhaps it would be best for you to join me in Sanditon so that you might look at the place with a view to business. I will be leaving this Thursday, and suggest that Mrs. Annesley and yourself follow within a day or two, with the intention to stay for one week. That would give you ample time to decide whether you truly wish to put your money into a seaside resort, and what conditions you would wish to stipulate._

_Send your reply, so that I might inform my brother Tom of our arrival._

_Yours, etc._

_S.P._

* * *

_Number 4 Robert Street_

_15 October 1819_

_Sidney,_

_Would I be staying with Mrs. Griffiths?_

_Sincerely,_

_Georgiana_

* * *

_Number 7 Bedford Place_

_15 October 1819_

_Georgiana,_

_I would never be so cruel. I would have Mrs. Annesley and yourself stay at Trafalgar House, if that suits you. I will stay at the inn._

_-Sidney_

* * *

_Number 4 Robert Street_

_16 October 1819_

_S-_

_I accept. Please inform Mr. Tom Parker that I will arrive on Saturday next._

_-G_

* * *

_Number 7 Bedford Place_

_16 October 1819_

_My dear brother,_

_I will be arriving in Sanditon this Thursday the 21_ _st_ _of October. Miss Lambe and her companion, Mrs. Annesley, wish to return to Sanditon and I have ventured to suggest that they might stay with yourself and Mary. Miss Lambe wishes to understand the town better, as she was quite secluded during her stay with Mrs. Griffiths. They will arrive next Saturday the 23_ _rd_ _, and will stay but one week. I am sure that Mary will make her most welcome and comfortable. I will stay at the inn, so as not to overly inconvenience you. Give my love to the children._

_Yours affectionately,_

_Sidney_

Sidney sealed his letter to his brother, and set it aside to be posted. He had considered informing Tom that Miss Lambe was about to become Sanditon's newest patroness, but upon further reflection had decided against it. If Tom were made aware that Miss Lambe was inclined to invest her considerable funds, he would be intolerable for her to reside with for even one week. Sidney had never been successful in impressing upon Tom how much his obsequiousness worked against his interests. Georgiana would have little patience with Tom's pandering, and might well decide not to invest as a result. No, far better for Tom to believe that Georgiana was only a prospective tenant.

Sidney had been honest with his ward when he told her that he would not allow his personal interest in the matter to sway his decision about her investments, and he had tried to be as impartial as possible. The undeniable truth was that Sidney could make no argument against investing in Sanditon that Georgiana could not easily overcome, and that her monies would be a serious advantage for the future success of the place. He would wait until she had seen Sanditon again before informing her that he would permit the investment, but there was no real cause for objection. It was not the soundest investment, perhaps, but she had already pointed out that any investment came with risk.

Less comfortable for Sidney was the truth that allowing Georgiana her way in this matter made his engagement to Mrs. Campion both harder and easier to bear. He could not stop himself from wondering if perhaps he had entered into the engagement too hastily, believing there to be no other option to prevent Tom's ruin, but what if that were not the case? Had he been kinder to Georgiana from the beginning, would she have come to the same determination to invest in Sanditon? If he had waited even one more day, would a solution have presented itself that would have saved Tom and left Sidney free to follow his heart? Such thoughts were futile, and impossible to curb. He had engaged himself, thinking it the only way, and now must follow through it. Thoughts of what might have been only made it worse.

At least now, with the knowledge of Georgiana's intention to invest, he did not need to enter this marriage knowing himself to be little better than a fortune hunter. In the few days since his conversation with Georgiana, Sidney had been much more able to treat Eliza with civility, now that the arguments over the wedding date could cease. Eliza's delaying the wedding until January was no longer a cause for concern, but a matter of relief. And while love for the lady may be unlikely, perhaps the next three months might give him the opportunity to figure out how they might be tolerably happy together. Surely he could discover some ways in which they might be compatible.

Thinking of Eliza reminded Sidney that he had not yet informed her of his intention to leave town for the week. The last time he had left for Sanditon, he informed her by note and drew her ire. Perhaps it would be best if he were to try a different tactic.

_Number 7 Bedford Place_

_16 October 1819_

_My dear Eliza,_

_I have been remiss in my attentions to you this past week, and for that I give you my apologies. I dearly hope you will demonstrate your forgiveness by accompanying me on a ride through Hyde Park this Monday afternoon. I shall call for you at 4 o'clock._

_Your devoted servant,_

_Sidney_

* * *

Eliza deliberately stayed at her toilette longer than necessary, so that Sidney might have to cool his heels waiting for her. His note had been handsomely worded, true, but it was always beneficial to make the men wait a bit. In truth, she had not minded at all that his business kept him from her last week, She despised that he gave so much time to any business whatsoever, and that he could not be swayed on the subject, but she found his company so much less agreeable than she had remembered that it no longer bothered her overmuch when he was not available. When they had been younger, Sidney had been so devoted to her! There was nothing she could wish for, that he did not try to procure immediately. The Sidney of old was never so happy as when he was squiring her about London, but this new Sidney was a very different sort of man.

The house party at Lord Hampton's estate had been a most illuminating experience. No lady could aspire to be first in the room when Lady Worchester was present, which was most vexing, but otherwise Eliza had been extremely pleased with her reception at the party. Lord Hampton himself had shown her the most flattering attentions, particularly before Sidney's arrival. What a charming man Lord Hampton was! Nothing seemed to give him more pleasure than to fetch her a glass of wine or offer to take a turn about the gardens with her. His attentions had been most pleasing indeed, and Eliza had not minded in the slightest the faint hint of jealousy he showed when Sidney finally joined the party. Eliza had forgotten how delicious it was to have a man so taken with her that he did not wish to share her company with another. Would that Sidney ever seemed so taken with her! Although Eliza had not failed to notice that he had been more attentive and courteous towards her since she returned from Lord Hampton's estate, so perhaps Sidney had also noticed Lord Hampton's attentions and been jealous in his own right. He had made his displeasure clear when she had chosen to remain behind, yet clearly it had been the right decision. Perhaps she had consented to this engagement too easily, had seemed too available to Sidney. The more Eliza thought on it, the more convinced she became that a little competition was exactly what Sidney Parker needed in order to be the doting fiancé she deserved.

Satisfied with her plan, Eliza ventured downstairs at ten after four to find Sidney waiting in her yellow parlour, just as she intended. He rose as soon as she entered the room, and bowed, revealing a bouquet hothouse flowers with a flourish. "They can in no ways match your beauty, Eliza," he said, handing them to her, "but they reminded me of you nonetheless."

"Thank you, Sidney. They are lovely," Eliza said, handing them immediately to her footman to be taken care of properly. "How thoughtful of you! I cannot recall the last time a handsome man has given me flowers. The occasional blossom that Lord Hampton would pick while strolling in his gardens certainly do not count," she added, with a winsome smile.

Sidney smiled pleasantly, though the smile did not reach his eyes. "I am delighted you like them. Are you ready for our ride in the park?" He did not deign to respond to the comment about Lord Hampton. He had not forgotten Babington's words of caution, but did not want Eliza to believe him jealous. She would be sure to become angry, and the last thing he wished for was to fuel any rumours connecting Eliza's name with that man.

Eliza agreed, and Sidney offered his arm to escort her outside. Their horses were waiting for them, their groomsmen keeping them patient and still over the last quarter hour. Sidney wished that Eliza had been ready on time, as he did not like keeping the horses standing idle for so long on the London streets, but punctuality had never been one of her virtues.

The two of them rode companionably, their conversation mainly on the fine weather and the beauty of the park in autumn. Eliza was a skilled horsewoman, and was well aware of how fetching she looked on horseback. She adored riding through Hyde Park, being seen by everyone who mattered, and it was particularly enjoyable when Sidney was in such good temper. Eliza liked the tale of star-crossed lovers that she had put about upon their engagement, and an outing like this made it all the more believable.

As they entered a quieter part of the park, Sidney broached the subject of his pending trip to Sanditon. "Eliza, my dear," he began, "I have news that I am afraid you will not like. I must be in Sanditon Thursday next, and will need to be away from you for as much as a week."

"Sanditon again, Sidney?" Eliza asked, barely refraining from rolling her eyes. What was the Parker fascination for that little town? She would never understand, and had no real intention of trying. "Must you really go again? Whatever for?"

"I have business with Tom that should not be delayed further. I have put it off for as long as I could, but it cannot be delayed any longer. I will not be gone long, Eliza, only a week," Sidney repeated. So far, Eliza seemed more exasperated than angry, but Sidney quickly searched for an excuse which would mollify her. She gave the demand of business no weight at all. "I know that many influential members of Society will be returning soon to town for the winter. If I do not go now, then I would need to go once the amusements of the season have begun. I thought you would much prefer me to be back before the end of the month, so that I may escort you to any event you deem important to attend."

Eliza had begun to object to Sidney's trip, mostly for the sake of reminding him how very _common_ his business endeavors made him appear, but stopped short when Sidney gave his reasons. She instead gave him a smile, full of approbation. "I do not like you going, Sidney, but you are quite right that it simply would not do to be away just as the season is beginning. I am very glad you see what a priority it is." If Sidney were rearranging his business to be available to escort her, then surely that meant he was one step closer to abandoning that business altogether? It seemed her mention of Lord Hampton's gardens had been an effective strategy. A little more competition during the season, and Eliza was sure that she would have her old Sidney back.

"Thank you for your understanding, dear. I shall count on you to decide which invitations we shall accept, and to notify me upon my return," Sidney responded, relieved that she had accepted his logic so easily. Perhaps the secret to living companionably with Eliza was to arrange his business in such a way that he could make her believe it matched her priorities. Learning to manipulate one's partner in life was not quite the happiness he had looked for in a marriage, but he could not deny there was a certain relief in avoiding another argument with her. He was going to Sanditon as planned, and Eliza was happy and smiling. That would have to suffice, for now.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I cannot take credit for most of these characters, as they belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.
> 
> Note: I wasn't going to write this chapter at all. I thought there was no need to show Sidney in Sanditon. But then, while rereading Sense and Sensibility over the weekend, I had a burst of inspiration and realized that yes, I do need to write this chapter after all. I hope it does not disappoint. -MG

**Sanditon**

The waves crashed against the shore, beneath the pale blue autumn sky. Sidney stood on the beach, gazing out at where the waters met the sky, his thoughts as riotous as the waves. He had not been in Sanditon since August, and he had thought it had been time enough to soften his associations of Charlotte with the place. His experiences of the past few days, however, had taught him that those two months were woefully insufficient. Charlotte Heywood had not been anywhere in Sanditon these four months past, but to him it was as though she were everywhere. There was no part of the town that did not remind him of how close he had come to happiness- not Trafalgar House, which witnessed so many meetings between them, nor the beach where they played in the cricket match, nor the river where they rowed together. Even the sea breeze seemed to carry her scent with it, a tantalizing, torturing reminder of the woman he had lost. Alongside every recollection of Charlotte was the awareness of the sort of man she had helped him to become, and the realization of how disappointed she would be with the man he was in London.

In London, Sidney had believed himself resigned to his marriage with Eliza, and determined to find a way to be tolerably content with her. He had convinced himself that he could be both the best version of himself and the man Eliza seemed to want, that he did not need to sacrifice himself for the sake of her happiness. In the space of only a few hours, Sanditon showed him the folly of such beliefs. Even if he were to give up all hopes of a future with Charlotte, could he truly be tolerably content with Eliza Campion? Could he retain his sense of principle, his desire to make his mark, his sense of self with a wife like her- selfish, vain and artful? The last two months had proven that he could not be his truest self with Eliza. The man he wished to be was incompatible with the man she was determined to marry.

Over the crashing of the waves, Sidney could hear Charlotte's last words to him. _'She loves you. You must try to make her happy.'_ He had promised to fulfill his side of the bargain, but was it a promise he could keep? What happiness could he offer her, when his attentiveness to her was so often a pretence? How true was her love for him, when he neither could be nor wished to be the man she wanted? The longer he spent in Sanditon, the clearer it became that he must find a way to end the engagement, for both his sake and Eliza's. Perhaps his happiness was no longer possible, but he could not bring himself to destroy hers with it. Surely, there must be a way to make her see that they would not suit.

For the first time in months, Sidney felt a sense of hope. He had lost Charlotte, and could not forgive himself for breaking her heart, but perhaps he did not need to lose the best parts of himself after all. With an energy in his step that he had not felt in a long while, he turned and made his way to Trafalgar House.

"Good morning, Sidney!" Mary exclaimed, upon Sidney's arrival in the breakfast room. "We were not expecting you so early, but you are certainly welcome to join us, if you would. Have you already eaten?"

"Thank you, Mary, that would be most welcome. I apologize for the unfashionably early call. I had been out walking, and quite forgot how early it was," he explained, taking a seat next between Mary and his brother.

"Out walking? So early? Sidney, that is most unlike you," Tom commented. His brother had a lightness about him that Tom had not seen in a while, but Tom would hazard no guess as to the cause. His correspondence with Sidney over the past months had seemed perfectly civil, but always about Sanditon and business concerns. After the revelations of his last visit to Trafalgar House, Tom did not feel he had the nerve to inquire about anything more personal.

"I suppose it is, Tom," Sidney acquiesced, "but I found myself in need of Sanditon's healing sea breezes this morning."

"Ah, I know you are in jest, Sidney," Tom chuckled, "for you have never been one to believe in the healing properties of Sanditon."

"Indeed, I do not jest, brother. Sanditon has had quite the influence on me over the past days. I feel myself a different man."

Mary watched Sidney carefully, conscious of a peculiar earnestness in her brother's speaking. She, too, noticed that Sidney's demeanor was different than the day before, but was doubtful of attributing the change to sea breezes alone.

"Capital, Sidney!" Tom exclaimed, clapping his brother on the shoulder. "If even you can become a convert to the benefits of the sea, then there is not a soul in England that could resist the charms of our town and environs."

Sidney smiled briefly, as Tom's enthusiasm and imagination was so endearingly easy to spark. "Is that your newest scheme, Tom? To bring the whole of England to Sanditon?"

"In time, my brother, I am sure that the whole of England will _want_ to come to Sanditon. Can you doubt it?"

"I would not dare," Sidney replied. As he reached for another slice of toast, Tom finished his own breakfast and began to excuse himself from the table.

"Sidney, I have business with Lady Denham this morning. Can I prevail upon you to accompany me?" Tom asked.

"My apologies, Tom, but I have promised Georgiana that I would allow her to try your bathing machines this morning. I will be escorting her and Mrs. Annesley to the beach as soon as they are ready." Tom accepted this excuse, and after a few more moments of trivial conversation, he bid his wife and brother farewell.

"Sidney," Mary began softly, uncertain as to whether she should broach the subject, "since it is just us two at the moment, may we speak openly with one another?"

He looked at his sister-in-law, at the way she twisted her napkin in her fingers while she met his gaze directly. "On what matter did you wish to speak, Mary?"

"The one matter you never mention, though any other man would have a hard time avoiding it. Your marriage, Sidney. Are we never to acknowledge that you are supposed to be married by now?"

He gave her half a rueful smile. "For all the years that you have been my sister, Mary, I wonder how much you have observed that you never spoke of. You seem to miss very little these days."

"No, Sidney, I missed far too much for far too long," she disagreed. "I confined my focus to my home and my children, and if I felt that ought was amiss with my marriage, I said nothing and suffered in silence. We both know what that has brought my family. I have learned my lesson, and see little value in remaining silent any further. So I ask you again. What of your engagement, Sidney?"

"My engagement," Sidney sighed, "is a farce, as I think you well know. It seemed my only option after the fire, and I believed that I could bargain my happiness for her money. Now I have no need of her money, and so am left entangled in a mess of my own making. Can you wonder that I do not wax rapturous about my future marriage?"

"You loved her once, Sidney. Can you love her again?"

"I am afraid that I cannot. I had hoped I would be able to find a way to see what once charmed me in her, but instead I see that she has grown almost into a caricature of the woman she was ten years ago. What was charming at eighteen has a littleness, a superficiality at eight-and-twenty that I do not admire."

"And Eliza? What does she think of your chances of future happiness?"

"Do you know, Mary, I cannot quite figure that out. She has said, albeit not recently, that she loves me and never lost hope that we would find our way back to one another. Yet she despises that I not only engage in business, but that I actually _enjoy_ it. She expresses frustration with me when I do not value fashionable society highly enough. She sometimes seems to resent my commitments to Georgiana and my family. She has moved the wedding back more than once. And despite all this, we are still engaged."

"It pains me to hear you speak this way, Sidney," Mary told him honestly. "I do not like the thought of you trapped in such a loveless marriage, for the sake of my family."

"I do not much like it myself," Sidney replied. "Until the past several days, I had considered it a hopeless business. I tried to be resigned, but could not be easy with the charade of my interactions with my own fiancée. There must be a way out of this, Mary. I do not think I can go through with it."

"What are you planning, Sidney?" Mary asked. "You will not be able to live with yourself, I do not think, if you must resort to any thing dishonourable in order to end this engagement of yours."

"No, I will not. I have no plan, Mary. I have only a new-found determination. I am all too aware now that this marriage will not make her happy, any more than it will make me so. Surely, there must be some honourable way to help her see that we do not suit?"

"I hope so, Sidney. For both your sakes, I sincerely hope so."

A soft sound on the stairs indicated that Georgiana was making her way down. Mary changed the subject to the fine weather they expected that day, and Sidney gratefully followed suit. As Georgiana entered the room, she and Sidney began discussing sea bathing, which Mrs. Griffiths had never permitted while Georgiana had been in her care.

After Georgiana, Mrs. Annesley and Sidney had left for the beach, and the children were occupied in the schoolroom, Mary had a few minutes leisure to think over her conversation at breakfast. The change in Sidney's demeanor now made sense to her, if he had reached the conclusion that his situation was perhaps not hopeless after all. She dearly wished he might find a way to convince Mrs. Campion to end the engagement, but she could not share his optimism. He had said himself that she neither cared for his business nor valued his interests, but had not ended the engagement. It seemed to her that Mrs. Campion, for reasons of her own, was determined to have Sidney for a husband. If that were the case, what could possibly persuade her otherwise?


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I cannot take credit for any of these characters, with the exception of Lord Hampton (who really will serve a purpose, I promise) and Mr. Taylor (I haven't forgotten him either. He has a reason for existing!). The others all belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies.

**Willingden**

"Charlotte, are you ready? Her Ladyship has ordered the carriage brought round." Mrs. Heywood swept into the room that Charlotte and Alison shared, to find neither girl inside. "Oh heavens, where can that girl be?" she wondered aloud. The last week had been hectic enough, helping Charlotte pack for London while managing the children and preparing the house for Lady Worchester's arrival simultaneously. Willingden had never received such an exalted guest in her time there, and she had been determined that Lady Worchester would find no possible fault with her reception. Although she had been unwilling to own it to either her husband or daughter, Mrs. Heywood had been exceedingly nervous about having a countess as a houseguest, even for only one night. She had been pleasantly surprised to find her ladyship as amiable and unpretentious as she found her to be. But no matter how amiable she was, one did not keep a countess waiting. Where on earth had Charlotte got to?

Unaware of either the time or that her mother sought her, Charlotte sat in the garden with Alison. She had said her farewells to her other siblings, but Alison was the hardest to part from.

"Oh Alison, I do wish I could bring you with me," Charlotte said, taking her sister's hand. "It is my only regret, having to leave you behind."

"This is not my adventure," Alison replied, "although I would have loved to come and witness yours. You must write to me often, Charlotte, and keep me informed. I shall count on it. I have this feeling that all will turn out well."

"I will certainly write as often as possible, but you must not get your hopes up, Alison, nor encourage me to raise mine. Whatever Lady Susan may say, he is an engaged man. It is not right for me to think on him in that way," Charlotte replied. It was not the first time she had cautioned either herself or her sister thusly, and she feared it would not be the last.

"All I hope for, sister, is that you find the happiness you deserve," Alison responded, gripping Charlotte's hand tightly. "You returned from your last trip less happy than when you left. I wish for this trip to end differently for you."

"I am sure it shall," Charlotte answered, "and I shall tell you as much as I can in my letters. And in return, you must write me just as often. I do wonder whether it is not _your_ letters that may end up sharing the most exciting news. I cannot be surprised that you are not more envious of my going to London, when you have such excellent company here at Willingden."

Alison blushed. "You must not tease me, Charlotte. I do not know that anything will come of it."

"But you do like Mr. Taylor?" Charlotte asked. "I am not mistaken in that, I do not think."

"I do like him, very much," Alison acknowledged shyly. "He is the most amiable man of my acquaintance."

"But you are not certain of his regard for you? He certainly seems to like you very much, in return."

"I believe he does," Alison told her sister, "but if I have learned any thing from your experience of the world, it is that these matters are not settled until he has declared himself, and even then it cannot be considered completely certain. Forgive me if this pains you, Charlotte. I do not mean to offend."

"No, not at all, Alison. You are quite right. I am only sorry that my experiences should make you uneasy, or rob you of even one moment's enjoyment of Mr. Taylor's company. But perhaps you are wise to be somewhat cautious. I shall not fan your hopes any more than you shall fan my own."

"We are agreed then," Alison smiled, playfully giving her sister's hand a gentlemanly shake. "We shall not hope too much, for either of our sakes. But Charlotte, are you not nervous to see Mr. Parker? I cannot imagine that you will not run into him, even in a city so large as London."

"If Lady Susan has her way, I think it inevitable that we meet. I do not know, Alison, if the thought makes me more excited or terrified. I only hope that the first meeting is in a smaller, more private setting. I should not like to see him again, for the first time in all these months, at a crowded ball with so many witnesses. Miss Denham's wedding was awkward enough. But I must own, I mainly dread the idea of seeing Mrs. Campion. I have never had a conversation with her in which she did not seem to triumph over me in some way. I am not eager to repeat _that_ experience."

"I do not blame you. At least I can say out loud that she is a cow. You will have to civil."

"I do not want to hate her, Alison. I cannot bear the idea of him being married to someone horrible, and being miserable his whole life. I need to believe that she has her good qualities too."

"I fear you are a much better person than I am, Charlotte," Alison shook her head ruefully. "Perhaps Mr. Taylor is a better match for you, after all. You would be much better suited to being a vicar's wife than I, as you are so much more capable of compassion and generosity of spirit."

"You are much too hard upon yourself, dearest" Charlotte refuted eagerly. "You are the most excellent friend and sister. And your Mr. Taylor is very safe from me. I should not like to be a vicar's wife, now that I have tasted the excitement of town life."

"Then I suppose we should send you on your way, then, for I see Mamma coming to fetch you. I shall miss you, Charlotte, very much."

"And I, you."

As Mrs. Heywood entered the garden, having finally realized why she could not find Charlotte anywhere in the house, the two girls rose and embraced. Mrs. Heywood hastened Charlotte to the front of the house, so that her ladyship might not be kept waiting any longer. Alison followed behind her mother and sister, to where Lady Worchester's carriage was being loaded with the last of Charlotte's belongings.

"Ah, there you are, my dear," Lady Worchester exclaimed. "Are you ready to depart?"

"Yes, of course, my lady. I am so sorry that I kept you waiting."

Assuring Charlotte that there was no need to apologize, Lady Worchester turned to the carriage and accepted Mr. Heywood's assistance climbing in. Mr. Heywood settled her in, and then extended his hand to his daughter. His eyes searched hers as she placed her hand in his, and she gave him a reassuring smile.

"You will be very much missed, my child," he finally said, after a long pause. He gripped her hand tightly, trying to convey so many thoughts and feelings in that one simple gesture. "Take care of yourself, Charlotte."

"I will, Papa. And I will write often. You need not worry."

"That is like asking the chickens not to lay eggs, my dear. And where would we be without eggs?" Mr. Heywood gave his daughter a small smile, and handed her in to the carriage next to Lady Worchester. Mrs. Heywood, Alison and the younger children began to wave and call their goodbyes as Mr. Heywood shut the carriage door. Charlotte waved back until the carriage rolled around the bend and she could no longer see her family.

"Well, my dear," Lady Susan began. "I cannot tell you how delighted I am to be carrying you off to London with me. I have such plans for us!"

"You are very kind, Susan. I do not know how to thank you. But I am a little afraid that your plans for me might be a trifle, shall we say, ambitious?" Charlotte was torn between wanting to hear Susan speak of her plans, as they concern Mr. Parker, and reluctance to begin that conversation. She knew that once they began to speak of him, it would be much harder to discourage Lady Susan than it was with Alison.

"Nonsense, Charlotte. You have nothing to fear from me. I intend only to introduce you to London society so that my general acquaintance can be as charmed by you as I am."

"I do not know what to speak about with your acquaintances. I should hate to embarrass you," Charlotte confessed. Now that she was actually on her way to London, travelling in Lady Susan's well-sprung and luxurious carriage, the disparity between Susan's position in society and her own was harder to ignore. Charlotte could well remember the tittering laughter of Mrs. Campion and the other lords and ladies at the idea of Charlotte reading Heraclitus. What had she agreed to, in going to London with someone of Lady Worchester's standing?

"They are men and women like any other, Charlotte. Some are better company than others, some educated, some trifling and silly. I have found that one can always find like-minded individuals anywhere. You found me at a ball in London, did you not?"

"I suppose I did, though it was quite by accident. And how shall we go about introducing me to London society?"

"We shall spend our first few days shopping, and showing you the sights and sounds of Town. Once you are a bit more settled, we shall begin accepting invitations to teas and card parties and perhaps a Venetian breakfast or two. You know, smaller affairs, so that you might grow your acquaintances. I recall that when we first met, you hardly knew a soul in London. I would like you to know more people before we attend our first large affair a fortnight hence."

"You truly do have plans!" Charlotte exclaimed. "And what, might I ask, is this large event in a fortnight?"

"Lady Babington is expected to throw her first ball in a few weeks, and I thought you would like to attend, seeing as you are already acquainted with Lord and Lady Babington. Of course, by then, you will have met several others and will have a much wider acquaintance than you had at Lady Maudsley's ball. How does this all sound to you?"

"It all sounds very exciting," Charlotte responded, "and I confess that I am relieved to know that I will not be expected to attend any large affairs right away." Mingled in with Charlotte's relief at hearing Lady Susan's plans was her awareness that Mr. Parker would certainly be invited to any event hosted by Lord Babington. Did that mean she would not see him for two weeks? She could not decipher whether that notion brought her added relief or disappointment.

"You do not seem relieved, dear. Is there something amiss with my plans?"

"No! Indeed not. I was simply thinking that I do have some small acquaintance in London this time. Mr. Arthur and Miss Parker, in Bedford Place, and my friend, Miss Lambe. I do hope I will have time to call on them as well." Charlotte was aware that she did not utter the name Parker as nonchalantly as she would have wished to Lady Susan, but she could scarcely avoid the necessity if she wished to see her friends.

"Miss Lambe? The heartsick heiress? I thought she was still languishing in her bed in Sanditon," Lady Susan replied. "How interesting. How does she come to be in London?"

"She removed to London a few months ago, and is living in Robert Street with her companion, Mrs. Annesley. I believe she is only a few streets away from Bedford Place. Do you know that part of London?"

"I believe it is but a short carriage ride away from Mayfair, but I do not know precisely," Lady Susan responded. "I take it that Miss Lambe and you have corresponded?"

"Yes, we have. That is, until quite recently. I have not received a reply to either of my last letters, which seems most unlike her. She had been a very faithful correspondent until then. I wonder that she might be angry with me."

"Why would she be angry with you, Charlotte? What can you possibly have done?"

"I do not know. The only thing I can think is, that I accepted your invitation after I turned down hers. But she would not be so petty as to stop writing me on that account. It would have been much more like her to tease me instead."

"I am sure there is an explanation, dear. But I am astonished to hear that you had turned down her invitation to go to town sooner. I would have imagined you would have been quite eager to join your friend." Lady Susan's eyes twinkled in such a way as to leave Charlotte in no doubt as to which _friend_ Lady Susan referred.

"I would very much have liked to see Georgiana again," Charlotte carefully replied, deciding it was more prudent to pretend ignorance of Lady Susan's true meaning, "but I did not think that I should leave home again so soon after returning. She invited me back in August, you see, when I had scarce been home a month. The timing, you know, makes a great deal of difference."

"Indeed, timing is very important. I am selfishly glad that you have decided this is a better time for you, Charlotte. I would not have been able to enjoy nearly enough of your company, had you come to stay with Miss Lambe instead." Lady Susan did not voice how carefully she had considered the timing of her own invitation to Charlotte. She had given a great deal of thought to the matter, after Lord Babington's recommendation of Mr. Parker had convinced her to intervene after all. To be sure, London society was still a bit thin this early, and it was not her usual habit to return to London until later in the winter, but with Mr. Parker's wedding set for January, there was not much time to waste. Setting the cogs of the clock in motion was not difficult, but sometimes the clock wound slowly.

"I am glad as well," Charlotte answered, "and cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind attentions to me. Now tell me more of the shopping you have in mind. What on earth will we be buying, that requires entire days devoted to shopping?"

"Oh, my dear girl. I have so much to teach you!" Lady Susan began describing the latest fashions, and her visions for what colours and fabrics would best suit Charlotte. In this manner, they cheerfully passed the time until their arrival in London.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters mainly belong to Jane Austen and Andrew Davies. I can only claim a few of them.
> 
> Note: This chapter is a bit longer than usual. I hit a bit of writer's block, combined with the responsibilities of a full-time job and three children, but eventually the words came to me. Thanks to those of you who took the time to leave feedback...I really look forward to hearing what you think of this story.
> 
> -MG

_6 Charles Street_

_5 November 1819_

_My dearest sister,_

_You will hardly be surprised, I am sure, to learn that I am most comfortably situated here in London with Lady S. Our journey was entirely without incident, and she has been exceedingly kind and attentive to me. I must own that I am still not entirely clear on why such a personage as Lady Worcester has singled me out for such attentions, but I do enjoy her company and she seems to enjoy mine as well. When I say any thing that may sound naïve, which I am certain I do with distressing frequency, my kind friend tells me that I am honest and refreshing. I can only hope that the rest of her sophisticated London circle shares her opinions. Her house in Charles Street is everything that is elegant, and I am told that Mayfair is the most fashionable part of London. I have seen very little of London previously, as you know, but even I can easily distinguish that the houses here are larger and cleaner than Honey Lane, where I had mistakenly believed Mr. Molyneux to reside. I had been so amazed to have a room of my own when at Trafalgar House with the Parkers, and my apartment here in Charles Street must be almost twice that size! Upon seeing the room for the first time, I asked Lady S if I might have a map so that I would not get lost from one end to the other. She seemed to find this rather funny._

_I have been here two days already, and am not yet used to the amount of noise and commotion every day. When I was last in London, I was so consumed with my business for being here that I did not notice the town itself much at all. Now that I see just how large and crowded this town is, I am not a little astonished at my own daring in coming here by coach on my own. It is no wonder that Mr. Parker had been so very angry with me when he happened upon me that night. I do not think I would make such a reckless decision as to come to London alone, had I realized what London truly is. The window of my room is large and overlooks Charles Street, and I greatly enjoy watching the neighbourhood wake up as I drink my morning chocolate. Chocolate, for breakfast, Alison! Can you imagine any thing so decadent? I will have to force myself to revert back to tea before I return home, lest I grow too accustomed to Lady S's style of living. She does not choose to rise for breakfast, but instead takes a tray in her room, and so I do the same. I am certain that my tray is brought far earlier than hers, however. I am not yet accustomed to London hours, and am grateful that we have not yet begun accepting evening invitations. It will take me many more days, I think, to stop waking so early in the morning and to be able to stay up so late into the night. Country hours in Willingden are far more reasonable, and even Sanditon was not such a change as London seems to be. I cannot seem to stop myself from waking in the morning and yet there is nothing for me to do upon awakening other than look out the window and read. It is lucky for me that Lady S has a lovely little library here, and has given me full use of it. I am nervous to begin the social whirl that I have been told awaits me in the coming week or so, but I must confess that I am looking forward to having something more to do. Sitting idle simply is not my way._

_We have been spending much of our days shopping, which is both exhilarating and exhausting. Lady S has taken me to her modiste, a bossy Frenchwoman whom Lady S suspects was actually born in Yorkshire, and I have been poked and prodded and looked at and talked about for hours. I am not allowed much of an opinion, which is no great loss in this instance, as you know that I have no knowledge of fashion. Madame D_ has already provided me with a couple of ready made day dresses and I am to receive several more soon. There is a ball gown being made for me of the most beautiful silk I have ever seen, in a blue green shade that reminds me of the ocean at Sanditon on sunny days. If it were not for that association, I think I should be afraid to even wear the dress, for it is quite the most elegant one I have ever had. I do not know what arrangements my father made with Lady S about buying these new clothes, for I know he did not much like the idea of her buying me so much and yet I think Lady S must be a difficult woman to oppose when her mind is set upon something. I think I am glad not to know how much this all must cost, for then I would be too uncomfortable to accept any of it._

_Lady S has been very kind and gentle in her way of teaching me London ways and manners. She has assigned an upper maid to me to assist in my dress and arrange my hair, which I believe must be her way of telling me that I must not go out with my hair about my shoulders. Sally, my maid, is a very friendly girl of about seventeen. She has been in service with Lady S for about two years now, and it is nice to have a cheerful person to talk to at the beginning and end of each day. My hair has never looked better, and it does help me feel more equal to being seen in public with my elegant friend. I have also learned the proper way to send notice to Miss Lambe and Miss Parker of my arrival in town, which I have done, and I will be paying a visit to Miss L this afternoon. Lady S's carriage will take me there, for walking from one location to another unaccompanied is simply not done. So I have been told, and I am hardly eager to walk the London streets without escort again, even in such an elegant location as this. I am quite curious to see my reception from Georgiana, as she had not sent any reply to my last two letters from home, but responded almost immediately to the news that I was settled in Charles Street. She indicated that she had much to tell me. You can be sure that my next letter will share with you whatever news she tells me._

_I have not fixed a date to visit Miss Parker and Mr. Arthur, although I know I must go soon. I do not know if their brother is in town, and so cannot prepare myself for that visit. I think it would be easier if I knew he were away. Now that I am here in London, the possibility of seeing him seems a bad idea. I am afraid, my dearest sister, that I still feel more than I should, and I do not trust myself to conceal it if we were to encounter each other. I am equally nervous about what he might reveal, and do not know which would pain me more- to learn that he also feels more than he ought, or that he no longer cares for me. If he is in town, he must know of my being here, or soon will after I have had my visit with his ward and his sister. Further, Lady S informs me that we are to attend the opera this Monday, that Lord and Lady Babington will be joining us in her box, and that 'everyone' will be there. If everyone includes a certain gentleman, then my little reprieve is soon coming to an end. By the time you receive this letter, Alison, I will likely have seen him again. Oh, how I wish you were here with me!_

_Write to me soon, and tell me all the news of home, lest I grow too grand a lady here in the comforts of Charles Street._

_Your loving sister,_

_Charlotte_

* * *

Charlotte knocked gently on the door of Number 4 Robert Street, and waited a moment for the door to open. When it did not, she began feeling rather conspicuous standing on the front step for so many minutes. Surely Georgiana would be home, for she was aware that Charlotte would be calling today. Charlotte had followed all of Lady Susan's instructions on London etiquette, but the long pause waiting to be admitted into the house made her begin to doubt herself. She rapped a bit harder, wondering if perhaps her first attempt simply had not been loud enough to be heard inside. The door opened almost instantly, and a smartly-dressed footman ushered her in and inquired her name. She was shown to a front parlour, and announced to Miss Lambe.

"Charlotte!" Georgiana exclaimed, swiftly rising from her chair and rushing across the room to grasp her friend's hands. "I cannot tell you how delighted I am that you are here! There is so much I should like to tell you, and it would have made rather a long letter." Still holding Charlotte's hands, Georgiana guided her to a sofa, and sat down beside her. The woman sitting in an armchair near the fireplace made a slight cough as she embroidered the screen in front of her. "Oh, forgive me. Charlotte, may I present Mrs. Annesley. Mrs. Annesley, my dear friend Charlotte Heywood."

"I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Annesley," Charlotte said, bobbing her head in lieu of the curtsey she could not give while seated. "Georgiana has spoken highly of you in her letters."

"Likewise, Miss Heywood," Mrs. Annesley replied with a warm smile. "I hear your praises sung quite regularly, between Miss Lambe and our mutual friends, the Parkers."

Charlotte immediately felt herself confused by a reference to the Parkers so soon, and hoped she did not blush. "I cannot believe that Miss Parker or Mr. Arthur would have such frequent cause to mention me," she replied, "though I am flattered to hear they speak so well of me."

"I was referring to Mr. Tom and Mrs. Parker," Mrs. Annesley clarified, "although Miss Parker and Mr. Arthur are quite fond of you, I am sure. We have recently returned from a week's stay at Trafalgar House, and it is hard to go above a day without hearing of "Miss Heywood this" or "Our Charlotte that". I understand that you almost single-handedly ensured the success of the first summer regatta."

"Oh, hardly!" Charlotte exclaimed. "I helped in the smallest of ways, truly. But I am astonished to hear that you were so recently in Sanditon. Georgiana, have you not always thought it a tedious place? I would have thought you would not step foot there in a thousand years, unless forced by masked highwayman or worse."

"This is what I wished to tell you, Charlotte!" Georgiana began. "I should have written to tell you that I was going back, but so much happened so quickly that I quite forgot. And when I returned and got your letter informing me that you were coming to town, there was not enough time left to write you. You would have arrived here before my letter reached Willingden."

"I was afraid you were angry with me," Charlotte confessed, relieved to learn that there was such a simple explanation. "Or that you had decided to drop my acquaintance for some reason. I was so surprised not to have received a reply for so many weeks."

"Oh, my dear Charlotte! Forgive me, I had no idea that my thoughtlessness would have given you such a notion," Georgiana cried, feeling a bit ashamed of herself. "Have I not told you how highly I value your friendship?"

"Indeed, you have. It was silly of me to worry. Now pray, tell me, why were you in Sanditon, of all places?"

"It is all because of you, you know."

"Because of me? Georgiana, whatever can you mean?"

"Your suggestion to invest, of course. I thought on it, I consulted Mrs. Annesley, and then I raised the subject with Sidney. He was understandably skeptical at first, but then decided to permit it. I would not be surprised if learning that it was your suggestion helped to influence his decision." The moment the words left her lips, Georgiana wished them unsaid. How thoughtless of her! Surely Charlotte would be embarrassed if she knew that Georgiana was aware of the attachment between Sidney and herself.

For her part, Charlotte decided to pretend she did not hear. This allusion to her influence over Sidney Parker both pleased her and pained her, but she hardly wished to draw attention to her previous relationship with him. "I am very pleased for you, Georgiana, and hardly surprised that Mr. Parker should realize the merits of the notion on his own. But I do not understand what this has to do with Sanditon?"

"Is it not obvious?" Georgiana could not help feeling a little impatient that Charlotte had not grasped the connection immediately. "That is where I have decided to invest. Sidney suggested that Mrs. Annesley and I spend a week or so in Sanditon to view the place with an eye towards business. I told him I would only agree if I did not have to lodge with Mrs. Griffiths again, and he agreed that I would not. So we stayed at Trafalgar House instead, and I spent the week discussing Mr. Tom Parker's plans for the town and meeting with Mr. Stringer and even tolerating tea with Lady Denham, so that I might better understand the future of Sanditon. By the by, Mr. and Mrs. Parker are not the only ones in Sanditon to sign your praises. Mr. Stringer seems to hold quite a high opinion of you himself. I promised him I would send you his regards, so consider it done."

"Georgiana, my head is spinning!" Charlotte laughed. "Surely you do not mean to tell me that you will really follow through with the Lambe Lending Library after all? Why would you decide to invest in Sanditon, when you have always despised the place?"

"Are you not pleased? I would have thought this plan would make you happy. I thought the success of Sanditon a matter of no small importance to you."

"I am exceedingly fond of Sanditon, as you well know, and do wish it to succeed, very much. I am very pleased for Mr. Parker, that you have decided to take an active role in building the place. But I am not the one investing, Georgiana. It is not my money. I am at a loss as to why _you_ would suddenly care about its success."

"It was the only way I could think to make amends, Charlotte. I should have thought you would understand that."

"Make amends? For what, Georgiana?" Charlotte asked, more puzzled than before.

Georgiana caught Mrs. Annesley's eye, and realized that she had better think before speaking. How could she mention her quarrel with Sidney without revealing her knowledge of his attachment to Charlotte? She could hardly enter into such a subject, but every opening she thought of seemed to lead down a path she ought not travel. "For my selfishness," she finally responded. "The Parkers, all of them, have been noting but kind to me. Even in Sanditon this past summer, Mr. Arthur tried time and again to cheer me up, and I treated him like a buffoon. Miss Parker has invited me to tea twice weekly, as though I were family. And Sidney- you know how unjust I have been towards him, how quick to blame and vilify him." Georgiana paused, and then continued listing her reasons for wishing to be useful to the Parkers. Charlotte listened in silence, and then took Georgiana's hand.

"It is a lovely gesture, Georgiana," she told her friend, "and I am sure that you will not be sorry. I only wish I could return to Sanditon to see it all take shape."

"Do you think you will ever go back? I am sure the Parkers would be happy to have you at any time."

"Yes, Mary has told me that herself. But I- I am not ready to go back yet." Charlotte quickly decided to change the subject. "Besides, I am here in London now, and ready to learn and see everything that I can. Lady Susan and I are to attend the opera in a few days, and I am beyond excited."

"Perhaps we shall be able to attend as well!" Georgiana exclaimed. Mrs. Campion often liked to attend the opera, and Georgiana began thinking on how she might ask Sidney to allow her and Mrs. Annesley to accompany them. Sidney was due back from Sanditon the following day, as he had decided to remain a few extra days. "And have you visited yet in Bedford Place?"

"No, not yet. I was not certain if I would have time to pay Miss Parker a call this afternoon, or if I would go tomorrow instead."

"If you wait until tomorrow, you would be able to visit with all of the Parkers. Mr. Tom and Mary are expected to be in London for a visit with the children. Sidney will be traveling with them, as he did not return to London with Mrs. Annesley and me."

"Oh, how lovely! I long to see the children," Charlotte exclaimed, while silently resolving to pay her call to Miss Parker this afternoon after all. Hearing Sidney's name mentioned so casually and frequently by Georgiana had made it very clear to Charlotte how unequal she was to being in company with the man himself. The three days remaining until the opera did not seem like nearly enough time to prepare herself.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Jane Austen and Andrew Davies get the credit for the creative genius of these characters. I do not own them, or have any claim to them whatsoever.
> 
> Note: Again, my gratitude for the feedback! I never imagined that this story would end up being such a labour of love, and I cannot believe that this is my 20th chapter! Thank you for sticking with me. I am humbled by the positive response here and on Twitter, and it makes me so happy to see new reviews. -MG

**London**

"Sidney, who are you looking for?" Eliza's voice brought Sidney's attention back to their box at the opera house. He had been scanning the room every few moments since they had arrived. Georgiana glanced at him, wondering how he would answer Mrs. Campion's question.

"For my brothers and sisters," he quickly replied, unwilling to acknowledge his true object. "I would have imagined they would be here by now." He had returned to London two days prior, to the news from his sister Diana that Miss Heywood was in London and would be attending the opera with Lady Worcester on Monday. Tom and Mary had been delighted to learn that their young friend was in town. Sidney, for his part, felt more confused than anything else. Despite his newfound sense of hope that his visit to Sanditon had created, he still had no ideas how to disentangle himself from Eliza. He had not anticipated having to be in company with both Eliza and Charlotte this soon, and felt the past two days were not quite enough time to prepare himself.

"Mrs. Campion, you seem to be looking for someone as well," Georgiana suggested. "Are you expecting more guests to your box this evening?"

"No, no, Miss Lambe. We shall be quite full enough, as is." Eliza replied. "I am trying to catch a glimpse of Lady Worcester when she arrives. Everyone has been trying to find out more about her mysterious new friend."

Sidney turned to look at Eliza, his eyes widening ever so slightly. Georgiana bit back a smile, and encouraged Mrs. Campion to elaborate. "A mysterious friend, you say? That sounds fascinating."

"Indeed, Lady Worcester has taken everyone by surprise. Not only has she returned to town a full two months earlier than is her custom, but I have been told by several people that she has a young friend with her that she is actually _sponsoring_ for the winter! When I heard they would be attending tonight, I simply had to come and see for myself. It is quite out of character for Lady Worcester, you know, and no one knows anything about this young woman."

"I can tell you exactly who she is, Mrs. Campion. It is no great secret." Georgiana answered, highly amused that her friend Charlotte should be the source of such rampant fascination in London's highest circles.

"What do you mean, Miss Lambe? You have learned the name of Lady Worcester's protégé?" Mrs. Campion asked eagerly. "Pray tell. None of my friends have been able to learn anything thus far, although Mrs. Simpkins swears she saw her shopping with her ladyship earlier in the week. She is said to be very pretty."

"Certainly I know her name. She is my particular friend, Miss Heywood." Georgiana replied. Eliza's eyes widened, and her mouth fell open slightly before she caught herself and schooled her expression.

"Miss Heywood? Has she arrived yet?" Tom asked, as he entered the box with his wife, Mr. Arthur Parker and Miss Parker following closely behind. "We are quite eager to see our dear Charlotte again."

"No, she does not seem to have arrived yet, Mr. Parker," Georgiana replied. "I was merely telling Mrs. Campion that Miss Heywood has come to London as the special guest of Lady Worcester."

"Ah, yes, Lady Worcester seems to have taken a great interest in Charlotte," Mary softly replied, noting the way Sidney kept his expression carefully blank and that Mrs. Campion's eyes narrowed ever so slightly when Charlotte was named.

"And who could blame her?" Tom said heartily. "Charlotte is sure to be a favourite wherever she goes."

"Oh, indeed!" Georgiana quickly agreed, enjoying herself immensely. "I believe there was more than one gentleman in Sanditon who found Charlotte quite charming. And if I am not much mistaken, there is a handsome young vicar near her home who is said to be rather smitten with Miss Heywood." Sidney glanced at Georgiana at these last words, his mouth set in the barest hint of a frown.

"You surely cannot mean who I think," Eliza protested. "Not the Miss Heywood who helped with the children at Sanditon? That little country mouse?" Eliza had a flash of memory of Sidney rowing in the river with the girl. Certainly he must have forgotten by now any feelings he may have had towards her, but Eliza was not so confident as to wish to put his feelings to the test.

All five Parkers and Georgiana turned to look at Eliza at this, their expressions ranging from astonished to stony. Mary found her voice first, and forced herself to use her usual gentle tones. "We are exceedingly fond of Miss Heywood, Mrs. Campion, and hold her in the highest regard. She is quite a member of our family. I will thank you not to disparage her in my presence."

"If I may, Mrs. Campion," Georgiana added, "I would suggest that you rethink the advisability of disparaging Miss Heywood in any one's presence. She is the special guest of Lady Worcester, after all, and I cannot imagine her ladyship would take kindly to her guest being the subject of unkind remarks. Why, if it were to get back to Lady Worcester, I would think it could end quite unpleasantly for whomever was said to have disparaged Miss Heywood."

Mrs. Campion looked at the Parkers and at Miss Lambe, thinking quickly. Although she did not like to acknowledge it, there was a great deal of truth in what Miss Lambe said. She would not want to incur Lady W's displeasure by speaking ill of her guest. Nor would it be wise to vent her frustration in present company, as ridiculously enamoured of the girl as all the Parkers seemed to be. She looked at Sidney, unable to read his expression. Was he still as fond of Miss Heywood as the rest of his family? Had he known she was to be in town? This was an unwelcome development, and she did not care for the notion of a rival. She would need to think on this and decide her best course of action. For now, though, it would be best to appear indifferent. She would not wish Sidney to think her jealous. "Forgive me. I merely spoke out of surprise. I am sure Lady Worcester would never single out anyone who was not most deserving."

Mary took pity on Mrs. Campion and turned the conversation to the performance they would be seeing that evening. Miss Lambe and Miss Parker joined in, and Mr. Arthur offered a comment on his high hopes of refreshment during the intermission. Sidney remained silent, his mind more confused than ever. He had noticed Eliza's dislike of Charlotte in Sanditon- indeed it would have been hard to miss her pointed remakes thinly disguised as jest. When he had learned of Charlotte's being in town, he had forgotten to think how Eliza would react to the news. The idea of _not_ approaching Charlotte this evening was unthinkable. He could not imagine knowing she was near and keeping his distance, nor would he wish her to think he was avoiding her. Yet how to speak with her without spurring Eliza's spite? Despite being under Lady W's protection, Sidney knew full well how damaging the right gossip could be, and Eliza would be well aware of this as well. Further compounding Sidney's disquiet was Georgiana's casual mention of Charlotte's other admirers. He had long suspected that young Mr. Stringer harbored a _tendr_ _é_ for Charlotte, but he did not like the idea of some unknown handsome vicar paying his addresses. Nor was he comfortable with the notion that Lady W was sponsoring Charlotte in London, for he could not doubt that she would draw the notice of several eligible gentlemen. The more he thought on it, the more imperative it became that he found some opportunity to speak with her this evening, but how could he make it possible?

* * *

Charlotte stepped down carefully from the carriage behind Lady Susan, taking pains to watch her footing and not step on the hem of her cloak or in a puddle. As she straightened, she looked up at the grand opera house, marveling anew that she was in London with a countess, attending her first opera. She tried to memorize as many details as possible, for her next letter to her sister. She accompanied Lady Susan inside, smiling and nodding to everyone who greeted them, and feeling no small sense of relief when they successfully gained their places in Lady Susan's box. There were so many people! Charlotte once again felt that she did not belong in such a place, surrounded by so many beautifully gowned ladies and dashing lords and gentlemen. ' _Courage, Charlotte,'_ she told herself. _'You are more than equal to them.'_

Lord and Lady Babington arrived shortly afterwards, and Charlotte found herself quite glad to see Lady Babington again. Her engagement had certainly revealed a softer side of Esther Denham, and Charlotte had found this new version far more approachable. She was curious to learn what changes, if any, marriage had created in her. Lady Babington certainly appeared the same as in Sanditon, her hair perfectly arranged and her features composed in an expression that hovered somewhere between bored and scornful. And yet there was a hint of a smile about her mouth and a twinkle in her eyes when she looked at Lord Babington that told Charlotte that she was very happy with her married state.

"Miss Heywood, I cannot tell you how delighted I am to see you," Lord Babington greeted her, with a kindness that spoke a greater degree of friendship than they possessed. "You look remarkably well this evening."

"Thank you, my lord. I am delighted to be here, and to see you and Lady Babington. I hope you are both well?" Charlotte responded. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see others peering over into Lady Susan's box, and it seemed to Charlotte that there was a great many pairs of eyes looking at her.

"We are very well, thank you," Lord Babington replied. "Wouldn't you agree, my dear?"

"Tolerably well, Babington. I'll only give you that much," Lady Babington retorted, her smile taking any sting out of her words. "Come, Miss Heywood, sit here by me and we shall renew our acquaintance until the performance forces us into silence." At Lady Susan's nod of consent, Charlotte moved to the seats at the front of the box and sat beside Lady Babington. From this vantage point, Charlotte could confirm that many people were indeed looking at her. "Tell me, Miss Heywood, how do you find London?"

"At the moment, I find it overwhelming and confusing, Lady Babington," Charlotte confessed. With the sensation of so many spectators, she hardly knew where to look or how to compose herself.

"In what way, Miss Heywood?"

"Well, if I may speak plainly, I feel as though everyone is staring at me," she answered. "I cannot imagine what interest I might hold to so many people."

"Do you not?" Lady Babington asked, in her customary forthright manner. "They stare because you are a young woman entirely unknown to them, in the company of the notorious Lady Worcester and chatting in the most sociable way with the wife of the Prince Regent's dear friend, Lord Babington. They will be all over themselves to learn your name, your fortune, your connections. And until they have satisfied their curiosity about you, you will London society's new fascination."

"Oh, do not say so!" Charlotte cried, dismayed. "I have no wish to be the object of such fascination. I have neither fortune nor connections to warrant such curiosity, and I do not wish to be the subject of idle gossip. Can nothing be done to stop this?"

"My dear Miss Heywood, why would you want to stop it, even if you could? Your acquaintance will be sought out, and despite your lack of fortune, no one will dare cut you because of your friendships. If Lady Susan means to find you a worthy husband, as I believe she does, there is no better way to launch you into society."

"This makes me most uncomfortable, my lady. I do not know what to think." Charlotte replied, after a moment's pause.

"Do you trust Lady Susan to have you best interests at heart?" Lady Babington asked. "Do you trust Lord Babington and myself?"

"Yes," Charlotte said, with only a hint of hesitation, "although I wonder if my definition is the same as yours. But I certainly trust that none of you wish me ill."

"Then rely on that trust, and do not worry. You will not regret coming to London, I do not think."

The word 'regret' sparked Charlotte's memory. "Lady Babington, I recall you once telling me that I would regret coming to Sanditon, as you did. Do you remember that conversation?"

"I do. How very bitter I sounded then!"

"You were quite certain that I would regret my visit to Sanditon, but I did not. I do not. Now you are certain I will not regret coming to London. Why would your powers of foretelling my future be more accurate now?"

"Because now, my dear Miss Heywood, I have knowledge that I did not have then," Lady Babington responded, as the signal for the performance sounded.

"What knowledge is that?" Charlotte asked, intrigued.

"I now understand how persistent a man in love can be," Lady Babington said. The curtains rose, and no further conversation was possible, leaving Charlotte to ponder the meaning of that most cryptic comment.

* * *

Sidney found it almost impossible to pay attention to the opera, although the performers were excellent and he generally enjoyed the operatic style. He had been alerted to Lady Worcester's arrival with Miss Heywood by the increased buzz of conversation, and the motion of many heads turning in their direction as they gained their box. His own seat was almost opposite, so that he could not easily look at Charlotte without advertising to the entire company that he was ignoring the performance. The best he could do was to steal quick glances whenever he thought Eliza could not see. It was agony to be so near and yet unable to approach her. He did not even know if she was aware of his presence. At times it seemed as though he had glanced at her just a brief moment after her eye was withdrawn from his direction, but he could not be sure it was not his wishful thinking. He could not stop wondering whether she was aware that Lady Worcester was believed to be sponsoring her in the marriage mart. Had Charlotte come to London to find a husband in a bid to forget him? Had she already forgotten him? No, he would not allow it to be true. Whatever may be her reasons for coming to London, he could not believe that Charlotte Heywood was any less attached to him than he still was to her. _'Surely, if our hearts are true,'_ he mused, _'we will find a way to understand one another before long. There must be a way to resolve this!'_ Determined to find an opportunity to seek her out, Sidney focused his attention more on the upcoming intermission than on the performance before him.

The moment the intermission began, Sidney offered to fetch refreshments for Eliza and encouraged both his brothers to accompany him. "We have five ladies here, and six hands between us," he remarked, "so I suggest that we leave the ladies to the comfort of the box, and that we gentlemen brave the crush out there to bring them a glass of wine." Tom agreed immediately, and Arthur was easily persuaded once he recollected that he would still have a free hand for a glass of his own. Together, the three gentlemen made their way to the refreshments in the hallway, where there was exactly the crowd that Sidney had imagined.

"Tom, I will leave your and Arthur here to gather the wine," Sidney began. "I see that we are now very close to Lord Babington's seats, and I have a matter I need to discuss with him." Tom caught Sidney's eye and, in an uncharacteristic moment of discretion, chose to say nothing. Tom knew full well who else might be found seated near Lord Babington, but was determined not to meddle. He had not yet forgiven himself for his role in blasting Sidney's chances of happiness.

"But Sidney, then we will have five glasses of wine and only four hands between us!" Arthur protested. Sidney pretended not to hear, as he turned in the direction of Lady Worcester's box. He reached the curtains just as they parted, and barely stopped himself from running directly against the person who was leaving.

"Mr. Parker!" Charlotte exclaimed. She had seen him across the theatre, and had had an exceedingly hard time keeping her eyes on the performance. Her thoughts had been consumed trying to decide whether he would approach her, what he might say, what she ought to say if he did. She had talked herself into the courage required to visit Tom and Mary in Mrs. Campion's box, and to leave the safety of her own seat, only to run into Sidney right outside!

"Miss Heywood," Sidney bowed, keeping his eyes on hers. He had not thought through what he would say to Charlotte once he saw her, and now fumbled to find appropriate conversation. "My sister informed me that you had recently arrived in town. I hope you had a pleasant journey?"

"Yes, quite. Lady Susan has been a very kind and attentive hostess," Charlotte replied. She felt she could scarcely breathe, between the crush of people and the knowledge of his nearness. The jostling of the crowds forced him a step or two closer, and she could not bring herself to step back.

"And how long will your visit be?" Sidney inquired, and then dropped his eyes briefly, looking to the side, before meeting her gaze once again. She would think he was eager to send her on her way! What a foolish thing to say. "I mean to say, I hope you will be able to remain in town for a long visit."

Charlotte smiled, the way she always did when Sidney betrayed that endearing hint of vulnerability. "I believe I will be here some six weeks, although a specific date has not been fixed. I imagine I will return to Willingden for Christmas, however."

"I see," Sidney replied, searching for another topic. There was so much he wished to say to her, yet nothing that could safely be said. Charlotte took the hint, and did her best to continue to conversation.

"I understand that you have recently returned from Sanditon," she began. "And that Georgiana has persuaded you to allow her to invest." The moment the words left her lips, she felt herself blush. Why would she say such a thing? What if he thought she was implying that Tom no longer had need of Mrs. Campion's money? Oh, when would she learn to think before speaking? Luckily, Sidney either heard no such implication or decided to ignore it.

"Ah, yes, she was most persistent," Sidney agreed, biting back a smile. "It would appear that she has a financial advisor, other than myself, who has persuaded her on the merits of, ahem, _making her mark_ on the world." Charlotte glanced down, torn between blushing and smiling, but was given no opportunity to reply.

"Charlotte, my dear, I wish to introduce you to some friends," Lady Worcester said, coming up behind Charlotte. "Oh, good evening, Mr. Parker! I was unaware that you had found our Miss Heywood this evening."

"Yes, I was come to fetch some refreshments, and bumped into Miss Heywood leaving your box," Sidney replied. He was hardly about to admit to Lady Worcester that he had ventured in search of Charlotte.

"I am sorry to take her from you," Lady Worcester went on, "but I have several friends who have been longing to be introduced to Miss Heywood. Come along, my dear. We do not have long before the performance begins again." Lady Worcester began to gently lead Charlotte away, and Charlotte murmured goodbye.

"Miss Heywood," Sidney impulsively called out, halting her motion. He stepped closer, so as not to be overheard by the general public. "My sister is in the habit of having a family gathering for tea on Tuesdays, with Georgiana. With Tom and Mary just arrived in town, I am sure they would wish for your company as well. Would you be so kind as to join them tomorrow?"

Charlotte glanced swiftly at Lady Susan, who said nothing but merely looked at her with a slight smile. With no indication from Lady Susan as to how she should respond, Charlotte answered with her heart. "I would be delighted, Mr. Parker. Thank you."

He bowed to both ladies, as he bid them good evening. "Until tomorrow then, Miss Heywood." He turned and made his way back to the refreshments, taking two glasses of wine and then venturing to Eliza's side once again. He refused to think about which of Lady Susan's friends had been longing to meet Charlotte, and instead focused his thoughts on tomorrow, when he would see her again.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**London**

Charlotte opened her eyes slowly, and stretched her arms over her head. When she turned her face towards the window, she was surprised to see how bright it was outside. Surely she had slept later than she had yet done since coming to London! The opera had been the latest she and Lady Susan had stayed out, and she knew she had better grow accustomed to it. As the last remnants of sleep cleared from her mind, Charlotte sat up and rang the bell for Sally. She walked softly over to the window and drew aside the curtain, and the mid-morning light slanted into her room. She hoped poor Cook had not already prepared her breakfast tray, as the food would certainly have long since gone cold and she would have to prepare a new one. Charlotte did hate being wasteful.

It had not merely been the late return home that led to her sleeping in, for she been unable to fall asleep right away, despite her exhaustion. She had replayed her brief conversation with Sidney in her head repeatedly, wondering how best to interpret his actions. Had he been seeking her out, when she ran up against him outside Lady Susan's box, or had it merely been coincidence? Had that invitation to tea been his own? Perhaps he had been sent by Miss Parker to issue it on her behalf. Only it had not seemed like he was delivering a message from his sister, but rather the impulse of the moment. Did he wish to see her again, she wondered, and then kicked herself for even asking the question. _'He is an engaged man, Charlotte,'_ she reminded herself sternly. _'You must meet him as a common and indifferent acquaintance. Nothing more.'_ She sighed. It had taken only one brief conversation with him to make it quite evident that her feelings towards Sidney Parker would not be governed by sense and logic.

A soft rap on the door gave her a moment's warning to collect herself, and she turned from the window as Sally entered bearing her breakfast tray. "Good morning, Miss Heywood," the girl greeted her, setting the tray on the table and walking to the other window to fully draw the curtain. "I was wondering when you would awaken! Did you enjoy the opera, miss?"

"I…well…yes, a great deal. It was like nothing I have every been to before."

"What was it like? I cannot imagine it. Was it very grand, miss?"

"Very grand, indeed, Sally. I do not think I have ever seen such an opulent building, nor heard such glorious singing, in my life. Not to mention the gowns and jewels the ladies were wearing! I have never seen such finery. If it were not for you, I am sure I would have looked quite out of place."

"Oh, never say so, miss! I am sure you looked ten times prettier than any of those fancy ladies. That purple dress looked a real treat on you, it did. And what do you wish to wear today- the blue muslin or the green striped?"

"Oh heavens, Sally, I hardly know how to choose. They are both pretty. I am going to tea with friends this afternoon- what would you suggest?"

Sally's cheeks pinkened slightly. Miss Heywood was so friendly and asked her opinion as though they were equals. She had never met another young lady quite like her. "I would suggest the blue, miss. It brings out your complexion. Oh, and I almost forgot to give you a message from her ladyship. Lady Worcester reminds you that she will be accepting callers this afternoon, and that she expects several. Shall we wind this matching blue ribbon through your hair? I think it will look lovely."

"I trust your judgement, Sally. I have no eye for fashion, truly," Charlotte replied. She had forgotten that Lady Susan would start accepting afternoon callers on certain days. It had been so pleasant this past week, just Susan and herself, and Charlotte was still nervous about meeting such grand lords and ladies. True, every one to whom she had been introduced last night had been perfectly civil, and some even agreeable, but she had not felt at ease. Particularly with Lady Babington's remarks echoing in her ears, leaving her wondering how many of those people wished to make her acquaintance simply to satisfy their bored curiosity. She did not much like the notion of being the _beau monde's_ latest fashion. At least she would be able to escape to Bedford Place for tea, and enjoy being with the Parkers, with whom she could truly be herself. And yet, if Sidney were there as well, as she believed he must be, then it would hardly be a relaxing visit. She sighed again.

"Is everything alright, miss?" Sally asked. Miss Heywood suddenly seemed so pensive, quite unlike her usual cheerful, talkativeness.

"Pardon? Oh, yes, I am fine, Sally. I merely lost myself in thought. Has Lady Susan risen?" she asked.

"Indeed, miss, but she has not yet gone downstairs."

"That is quite alright. I will go down to the library after I have eaten and dressed, and I am sure she will find me there," Charlotte responded. Sally gave her a little smile. Miss Heywood's love of reading was already a well-established fact among the household staff.

"Aye, miss. Shall I leave you to your breakfast now?"

"Yes, thank you, Sally. I will ring when I am ready for you," Charlotte said. Sally had offered numerous times already to help Charlotte dress in the morning, but Charlotte simply could not bring herself to trouble the girl for something she was perfectly capable of doing on her own. Her hair, however, was quite a different matter. Sally bobbed, and quietly left the room to see to her other duties, and Charlotte sat down to her breakfast and her thoughts.

"Ah, Charlotte dear, there you are!" Lady Susan swept into the library, when she knew she would find her young friend. "Are you quite refreshed from last night? You were rather quiet in the carriage home, you know."

"Good morning, Susan. Yes, I am rested, thank you. I am not yet accustomed to such late evenings, but I slept in much later than typical," Charlotte replied, setting aside her book and smiling up at her friend. Lady Susan seated herself across from Charlotte, and raised a knowing eyebrow.

"Was that all? The lateness of the hour?" Lady Susan queried. She had not pressed Charlotte much on the subject of Sidney Parker, but seeing the two of them together outside the opera box had told her everything she needed to know. It was time to give the girl a little nudge. "You had seemed quite distracted during the second half of the performance, but I had not thought you especially tired. On the contrary, your cheeks had rather a rosy, vital glow to them."

Those same cheeks showed the merest blush now, as Charlotte thought how best to reply. She knew she had been distracted, and knew exactly the cause, and she rather suspected that Lady Susan did as well. How was she to stand firm on her determination not to think on Sidney Parker when her friends seemed so determined to speak of him to her? "I suppose I was a bit distracted, Susan. It was quite a lot to take in, and there were so many new people and names to try to remember."

"Come now, dear. I think we both know that there was only one person and one name on your mind. Are you really going to try to dissemble and pretend you were not thinking on a certain gentleman?" Lady Susan tsked softly, but her eyes and smile were kind. Poor girl, she really fought so hard to pretend she was not wildly in love with the man. Seeing how closely they had stood to one another, and the expression in Mr. Sidney's eyes had made it quite clear, to Lady Susan at least, that the gentleman returned her feelings entirely. Charlotte needed to project more confidence, if Lady Susan's plan was to work as quickly as she intended.

"Susan, pray, do not tease me," Charlotte said softly. 'I know you mean well, but you cannot truly wish for me to set my sights on a man engaged to someone else. It is hard enough trying to tell myself that I do not care for him, but I should never be able to face him if I thought it were obvious to the general public. I should become a laughingstock. The foolish country girl wearing her heart on her sleeve, pining for Mrs. Campion's fiancé." Charlotte confessed her true worry about mingling with high society.

"My dear girl, I do not tease. And you did not display any sentiments that Mr. Parker himself did not. I do not think I have ever seen a man so overflowing with admiration. Why are you so determined to give up? Engaged is not married, my dear, so all is not yet lost."

"I cannot see it the way you do, Susan. Perhaps he is not yet married, but what hope do I have? He is too honourable a man to break his commitment to her, and I admire that in him. He will marry her, they will be happy, and I will teach myself to forget him."

Lady Susan shook her head slightly as Charlotte spoke. "I admire your fortitude, my dear, but I think it unnecessary. If there were no hope, if Mrs. Campion truly felt secure in her engagement, then she would not consider you a rival. I believe you are as much her Achilles heel as ever, and that her spite and jealousy will prove it. You may choose not to believe me, if that is easier for you, but I reserve the right to crow when I am eventually proven correct. All I ask for the present is that you stop doubting yourself. You must know that I only want your happiness, and I am convinced that all will turn out well."

"Is this your grand plan, then?" Charlotte asked, laughing in disbelief. "That I make a spectacle of myself, so that Mrs. Campion can prove herself jealous? Susan, I am afraid you make a most miserable matchmaker, after all!"

"I know precisely what I am about, Charlotte dear. You will not make a spectacle of yourself, whatever you may fear. You will charm the _beau monde_ , simply by being your most refreshing and delightful self, and she will hate it. Mrs. Campion cannot bear the thought of another lady being the focus of conversation. She quite longs for influence, though she thinks she hides that well. All you need to do is make new acquaintances and enjoy yourself, and I believe that she will quit the field herself. A woman of her stamp cannot bear to lose, you see, and she will decide to try for a prize she has a hope of obtaining."

"She did once boast to me that she never enters a race but to win it," Charlotte mused. She did not much like the idea of trying to somehow steal Sidney away. It did not suit her principles. But if Mrs. Campion were to give him up, of her own volition? And Charlotte need do nothing other than attend some dinners, and smile and dance? That did not seem so devious. "But she has already obtained her prize! He has pledged himself to her. Has she not already won?"

"A husband who longs for another woman? What sort of prize is that, especially to a woman to longs to be first wherever she goes? Be yourself, Charlotte, and you will see that I am right. Cogs of clock, and all that, you know."

"I will think on it, Susan. That is all I can promise you at the moment. I am not used to such…such strategems, you know, and I am not sure I wish to become so. I much prefer to deal plainly with people. The last time I tried my hand at deception, I failed most dreadfully and almost led to my friend's ruin."

"I ask no deception of you, Charlotte! There is no real stratagem here at all. If you are wholly and honestly yourself, then I believe that Mrs. Campion will be wholly herself as well. That is all. Perhaps I should have kept my counsel, but I did not like to hear you speak so disparagingly of yourself. I wish you to feel confident, as you should, when you are out in company. You have no awkwardness about you nor any manners to be ashamed of. Your artlessness and honesty are what first drew my notice, and it will be part of what my circle of friends will adore about you. What else can I say to make you feel easy?"

"You have convinced me," Charlotte laughed. "I am not outspoken and headstrong, I am delightfully honest and direct. All of London society will be charmed senseless by my utter lack of elegance and complete indifference to gossip and fashion. Have I got it right now?"

"Close enough, I dare say," Susan laughed in reply. "Now, let us make our way to the drawing room, before the hordes of curious callers descend upon us." The ladies both rose, Lady Susan took Charlotte's arm, and they left the library together.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: You guys!!!! I am overwhelmed by the love on Twitter and all the comments! Thank you, so very much!  
> I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for this chapter, but I made it a little longer than usual to make it up to you. I hope it does not disappoint!

**London**

Charlotte permitted herself a small sigh of relief as she heard the front door close behind the last caller. Lady Susan heard the sound, however, and raised an elegant brow at her companion. "Well, my dear?" she asked, a smile hovering about her lips. "Was it as dreadful as you feared?"

"Not dreadful, precisely," Charlotte replied, biting back a smile of her own. "But I do not think I have ever spent two hours together talking without stop, and yet saying nothing. I have lost track of how many different times I have now answered whether I am pleased with London, if I have any siblings, and how I feel about riding through the park. I have been given countless opinions as to the weather, and been informed by seven different people, on no uncertain terms, that I simply must try Gunter's during my time here."

Lady Susan laughed heartily at Charlotte's summation of polite conversation. "I fear I have been remiss in not taking you to Gunter's yet, but we shall remedy that at the first opportunity. As for the rest, I did warn you that the fashionable world is made of people like any other, did I not? Some agreeable, some tedious. I think you handled the horde exquisitely, whatever you may think, and they each one of them went away charmed."

"We do not have to try Gunter's today, do we, Susan? I am to go to tea in Bedford Place, you know, and I think I need to give myself a respite from talking and smiling beforehand. Who knew that making polite conversation could be so exhausting?"

"No, no, of course we will not go today. I will be paying a call on a particular friend of mine, while you are at your tea, but I will be back in time for dinner. I will drop you off in Bedford Place on my way, and shall send the carriage back for you in an hour and a half. Will that suit you?"

"Yes, thank you. Would you mind terribly if I went to the library until you call for the carriage?"

"Not at all, my dear. Of course you want to read." Charlotte thanked Lady Susan, and left for the quiet of the library. Despite her remarks to Lady Susan, Charlotte had not truly minded the afternoon callers at all. She had found most of them to be courteous and personable, and there were several whom she would not mind knowing more of. At the very least, she would now know more than the Parkers and Babingtons at next week's ball, and ran far less risk of becoming a wallflower. The two hours of callers had had the added benefit of providing a distraction from the fast-approaching invitation to tea, and now that she was alone, Charlotte could no longer avoid her own thoughts.

Would Sidney bring Mrs. Campion to tea as well? This was Charlotte's primary concern, for she could not hope to avoid that lady's pointed comments if they were thrown together for afternoon tea. Surely a family tea, as Sidney described it, would include his future wife, but he must know that Mrs. Campion would not be pleased to see Charlotte arrive. And while Charlotte had to believe that he enjoyed Mrs. Campion's company more than she did herself, it was impossible to think that he would be comfortable being in company with both women together. The thought of Mrs. Campion's presence was enough to rob Charlotte of her enjoyment at the prospect of being with Tom and Mary again.

Her book resting unopened in her lap, Charlotte mulled over Lady Susan's conversation earlier in the day. Could it really be that simple, that Charlotte need do nothing more than enjoy herself, and need not worry over how much her attachment to Sidney might show? It was unfathomable to her that any woman who had obtained the promise of Sidney Parker's hand in marriage would relinquish it out of jealousy of a girl with neither fortune nor connections. And yet it was undeniable that Mrs. Campion _did_ see Charlotte as a rival. If there was even the smallest chance that Mrs. Campion would quit the race and give him up, would Charlotte be able to forgive herself if she did not try? But if Mrs. Campion truly loved him, would Charlotte be able to forgive herself for succeeding?

With thoughts as tumultuous as these, the hour passed quickly, and Charlotte was surprised when a footman came to the library door to inform her that Lady Worcester had called for the carriage. Charlotte rushed upstairs to get her spencer, check that her hair was still in order, and dashed down the stairs so as not to keep her ladyship waiting. She found Lady Susan in the foyer, just as the butler was opening the front door.

"There you are, Charlotte. Ready for your tea?" Lady Susan asked, as she began to precede Charlotte out of the town house.

"As much as I can be," Charlotte confessed, following closely behind Lady Susan down the stairs and into the waiting carriage.

"You are not nervous, dear? You have lived in Mr. Tom Parker's family, and surely have had tea with his siblings before."

"You know perfectly well, Susan," Charlotte admonished lightly, "that this is not at all the same as having tea with Tom, Mary and the children at Trafalgar House. Nor can you be surprised if I am nervous."

"No, I suppose not," Lady Susan acknowledged, "although I do not think you need be. They will all of them be delighted to have you there, and any awkwardness you fear will quickly vanish. I would not be surprised if they were to invite you again, before you have even left their house this afternoon. Although if they do, I am afraid you will have to decline for the next week."

"Decline? Why?" Charlotte asked.

"For two reasons, dear. The first is that we are engaged for the rest of the week, and the second is that I think it best that Mr. Sidney Parker not see you again until Lady Babington's ball. There is something to be said for anticipation."

Charlotte gave Lady Susan a steady look. "I thought you said no stratagems, Susan. I have no wish to play games or toy with a respectable man."

"My dear girl, it is hardly a game or stratagem! You have other obligations, and I dare say Mr. Sidney Parker does as well. I merely suggest that we use that as a natural advantage. He will know you are in the same town, but that he is unable to see you, and he will therefore be that much more eager when he does see you Monday next at the ball. The reverse will be equally true of you, you know. As the famous poet said, "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows."

"That is Sextus Propertius," Charlotte promptly responded. "I hardly think he meant the absence of under a week."

"You will just have to trust me, dear," Lady Susan said lightly, as the carriage drew to a stop. "Now off you go, and enjoy yourself. I shall see you back in Charles Street for dinner." Charlotte bid Susan farewell, and stepped down from the carriage with the assistance of one of the Parkers' footmen. She climbed the stairs to Number 7 as Lady Susan's carriage rumbled away, and entered the house with mingled pleasure and nerves.

"Charlotte!" she was joyfully hailed by Tom, who crossed the room with alacrity to seize her hands in greeting. "You look remarkably well, my dear, and I am overjoyed to have you with us. We were sorry not to have had the opportunity to speak with you last night, but Sidney surprised us most delightfully when he told us he had run into you and that you would come to tea today. Now come and sit by me, and I shall tell you all about the latest developments in Sanditon that young Mr. Stringer and I have been working on."

"Really, Tom, let the girl enter the room! There are others who would like to greet her, you know." Mary chided, coming to stand beside her husband. She embraced Charlotte warmly. "I am so happy to see you, Charlotte. You have been very much missed at Trafalgar House."

"And I you," Charlotte replied. "Are the children much grown since the summer? How does Alicia get on with her reading and writing?" Mary and Charlotte chatted easily about the children for several minutes, while Diana and Arthur repeatedly interrupted to encourage Charlotte to sit in any of three or four locations that were each purportedly 'the most comfortable in the room'. Charlotte settled onto a sofa, with Tom on one side and Mary on the other, and happily listened to the news of Sanditon and its' residents.

"I do wish Miss L would arrive," Arthur muttered after a few minutes. "I believe that Cook made her favourite biscuits again, and it makes Cook so happy when the platter is returned empty."

"Arthur, do be patient," Diana responded. "I am sure that Sidney will be here with Miss Lambe any moment now."

"Miss Heywood, what is your opinion on biscuits?" Arthur asked. "Do you prefer them to scones, as Miss L does? I myself am partial to scones, though I am careful to limit myself to only four. Any more than that would not agree with me, you know, and I should be laid up for the remainder of the afternoon. Now biscuits, on the other hand, I can eat as many as I please, so long as I take them with very weak tea. Strong tea is not recommended for my constitution."

"I am fond to both scones and biscuits," Charlotte replied, smiling. "I do not think I have ever compared them. Do you think, Mr. Arthur, that I should make something of a study of them this afternoon, and have one of each? Then, perhaps, I will be in a better position to satisfy your inquiry."

"That is a capital idea, Miss Heywood! As soon as Miss L arrives, Diana will ring for tea, and I will personally select the very best-looking biscuit and scone for you myself," Arthur promised enthusiastically.

"That is very good of you, Mr. Arthur," Charlotte responded. "You are too kind." The sound of the front door being opened created a lull in the conversation, and Arthur immediately turned to his sister to encourage her to ring for tea directly. All of the ease and comfort that Charlotte had felt in the last several minutes vanished, and she was plunged right back into the mental battle between happiness and distress. Sidney and Georgiana entered the room, and Charlotte felt her shoulders relax ever so slightly in relief that Mrs. Campion was not with them.

"Good afternoon, Miss Heywood," Sidney said, as he bowed his head in Charlotte's direction with his eyes fixed firmly on hers. As Sidney greeted her, however, Charlotte felt some of her tension return, for she could see that the suspicions of all their party were awakened against them. Almost all of the party, that is, for Arthur was too busy watching the door for the arrival of the tea things to notice the glances that the rest of his family were giving his brother and Miss Heywood.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Parker," Charlotte managed to reply, holding his gaze for a few moments before dropping her eyes in confusion. She could feel herself blush, and hoped that none of the Parkers would draw attention to her embarrassment. She was unable to stop herself from looking at him again, and she glanced up to see that he had not moved from his spot by the door. He seemed almost as embarrassed as she felt, if that were possible. Tom broke the silence that had fallen by rising from the sofa to offer his seat to Miss Lambe, and Charlotte was ashamed to admit to herself that she had been so focused on Sidney's arrival that she had not even greeted her friend. The obligation to exert herself helped overcome her immobility, and she was able to turn her attention to Georgiana as she sat down.

"How did you like the opera last night?" she asked Georgiana, glad to have such a neutral topic spring so quickly to mind. Georgiana shared her opinion, and the two conversed on the subject for several minutes. That is, Georgiana carried on the conversation and Charlotte did her best to respond, but she was so aware of Sidney's presence that she did not always know when she spoke and when she fell silent. The simple knowledge of his being there, in the same room, was sufficient to disconcert her, although she did her best to conceal her agitation. Georgiana, for her part, easily understood the challenge her friend was having, and tried to put her at ease by pretending not to notice. She doubted that Charlotte was aware of how frequently her eyes sought out Sidney, and it became increasingly difficult for Georgiana to keep herself from smiling. The arrival of the tea things brought a welcome distraction to the young ladies, and a profound happiness to Arthur.

"Come, Miss Heywood! Let us begin our scientific inquiry!" Arthur called to her, as he immediately settled himself at the low table. He made a great production out of selecting the single best-looking scone and most delicious biscuit from amongst the offerings available, and setting them on a plate for Charlotte. Charlotte obligingly rose from the sofa, and began to move towards the part of the room where Arthur was waiting.

"Tell me, Charlotte," Tom suddenly asked her, stopping her progress across the room. "Do you still harbor the same partiality for anchovy paste?"

"Tom!" hissed Marry, giving him a glare, while Miss Parker exclaimed, ""How strange! Not a liking for anchovy paste, I mean, but that Tom should suddenly recall such a detail at this moment. Whatever made you think of such a thing, Tom?" At the same time, Arthur cried out in dismay, "Anchovy paste! Good Lord, Tom, what can you be thinking? This is a most serious study as to the merits of scones versus biscuits. Anchovy paste has no place in our inquiry!"

Tom gave his wife an innocent look, which did not fool her in the slightest, and tried to mollify his aghast younger brother. "Never fear, Arthur! I did not mean to suggest that Miss Heywood should be trying anchovy paste with either biscuits or scones. Your scientific study is quite safe, I assure you. I merely happened to remember that Miss Heywood seemed to have acquired a certain…fondness…for anchovy paste while staying with us in Sanditon, and I wondered whether her return home to Willingden had weakened that preference."

Six pairs of eyes turned to Charlotte, who struggled for composure. She was torn between amusement at Tom's sly teasing and horrified that he should ask such a question so publicly. From the nonplussed expression on Georgiana's face, Charlotte could tell that her friend had discerned there was a hidden meaning to Tom's question. How Sidney looked, she did not know, for she did not dare look at him as she searched for her reply.

"I have not been so fortunate as to have anchovy paste while at home," Charlotte finally replied, "but I do not think that my preferences have altered in those months." Tom looked as though he were about to say something more, but Mary's heel pressing firmly against his toes made him abruptly decide against it. Charlotte hardly knew where to look, and suddenly remembering Arthur, went over to the table and sat down beside him. She quickly took a bite of the scone, so that she might have an excuse not to answer any more questions.

More curious by the moment about the true meaning of anchovy paste, Georgiana nevertheless recognized Charlotte's distress and decided to rescue her. She waited until Charlotte had finished her mouthful, and turned the conversation to something other than food preferences. "Charlotte, has the ocean dress been finished and delivered? I am wild to see it."

"The ocean dress?" Mary asked, eagerly seizing on the new topic. "Is this a new fashion?"

"Oh, no, not at all!" Charlotte replied, setting her scone down, and gratefully entering into this new conversation. "You both know that I couldn't give a fig for fashion. Georgiana refers to the new gown being made for me, for Lady Babington's ball. I would happily have you come see it, Georgiana, only it has not been delivered yet. If I remember correctly, I have one final fitting tomorrow, and then should expect it to be sent to Charles Street on Friday."

"But why do you call it an ocean dress?" Mary wondered, to which Charlotte explained, "It is the colour of the dress, you see. It is a blueish sort of green shade, that reminds me of the ocean on certain sunny days at Sanditon. I do not know what the colour is truly called, so I gave it a name of my own."

"I can see why you might doubt that 'blueish sort of green' is the proper colour," Sidney remarked. It was the first comment he had directed towards Charlotte since greeting her, and the sound of his voice immediately drew her attention to him. He was standing by the mantel, cup and saucer in hand, with the shadow of a smile and hint of his dimple showing. It was the same look he had given her when calling her 'Admiral Heywood', and it warmed Charlotte more than her tea.

"See, Mary?" Tom interjected. "I told you that I would make an enthusiast of our Charlotte, and here is further proof of my success! An ocean-coloured dress, inspired by our lovely Sanditon waters!"

At this point, Arthur could not longer bear his siblings taking Miss Heywood's attention away from his inquiry, with all their chatter about anchovy paste and colours and dresses, and he called her to task. Apologizing prettily, Charlotte gave him her complete attention until she had finished both scone and biscuit, and could give her informed opinion as to her preference for the former. The rest of her visit passed by uneventfully, and she was eventually able to relax and feel herself at home with the Parkers. She could almost imagine herself back at Trafalgar House, and she was sorry to leave when the footman entered to announce that Lady Worcester's carriage had arrived. She was as warm and profuse in her expressions of gratitude to the Parkers for their invitation as they were in their appreciation of her having accepted it. None seemed to remember that it had been Sidney who had issued that invitation, for it seemed to natural to have Charlotte present for a family tea.

It was also Sidney who escorted Charlotte to the carriage, and offered his hand to help her into it. Charlotte slid her hand onto his, and looked up at him. He looked down at her, and moved the tiniest bit closer to her. They both seemed to freeze, forgetting that they stood on the street or that the carriage door was open and waiting. Charlotte held her breath, waiting for she knew not what.

"Miss Heywood…" Sidney began, without knowing what he wished to say. He only knew that he was reluctant to send her away, and that this brief moment alone with her was a precious gift not to be squandered.

"Yes, Mr. Parker?" she asked, her eyes wide as they searched his. There seemed so much that each wanted to say, but that could not be safely said out loud.

"I…I am glad you are come to London," he finally said, hoping that she would understand in his simple words the depth of everything else he was not at liberty to say. She smiled softly in response.

"So am I, Mr. Parker" she answered. They gazed at one another for a moment more, before they recollected where they stood and that the coachman was waiting. Charlotte turned towards the carriage, and Sidney settled her in. He gave her one last, serious parting look, before closing the door and giving the order to drive on. Charlotte sat back against the seat as the carriage began to move, and smiled broadly to herself. That one brief sentence from Sidney had accomplished more than all of Lady Susan's and Alison's encouragements combined. For the first time in months, Charlotte fully gave herself permission to hope.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The actual shade of Charlotte's dress would have been called 'cerulean'. It was a very popular shade in the Regency period. Also, turns out 'puce' was a very popular reddish-purple colour back then. The things you learn on the internet! Also, after much contemplation, I have decided to divide up the ball into more than one chapter. It would be far too long otherwise! I hope you won't think too badly of me!

**London**

The ballroom was like most others in Mayfair, large, poorly ventilated, and full of too many people who were not Charlotte Heywood. Sidney stood beside Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley, a glass of wine in his hand, facing where the guests were appearing and being announced, so that he might not lose a moment of the pleasure of seeing her. He had felt the same way at the Midsummer's Ball, arriving early with Babington and watching for Charlotte to arrive with Mary. He recalled how everyone at the Sanditon ball had seemed to conspire to keep Charlotte away from him, and the sense of joy when finally they found a moment alone on their balcony. How many times he had replayed that night in his mind, how many times he tortured himself with how it might all have ended differently! Had Sir Edward not intruded just then, would Sidney have gotten out the words to make his proposal? He rather thought he would have. And what then? In the version Sidney liked most, and believed least, there would have been no fire. Charlotte would have accepted him, they would have announced their engagement, and the next day he would have written to her father. Yet he was too rational a man to be able to fool himself that it ever could have worked out that way. Even with no Sir Edward, the fire would have occurred, and Tom would have been facing ruination. Sidney would have had Charlotte, but they would not have had a happy future before them. Or perhaps this is merely what he had convinced himself, so as to be able to tolerate the situation he had created for himself.

Lost in his own thoughts, hardly attending to Georgiana, and watching for Charlotte, Sidney wondered why he should have such a sense of anticipation this evening. There was no happy ending tonight for him, no change to his situation. The most he could hope for was to secure Charlotte for two dances and to torture himself with her nearness. A little dancing, some conversation, a few smiles…this is all the consolation he could expect. The rest of the evening would undoubtedly consist of struggling with the necessity of watching her dance with other men- for he could not doubt that she would be exceedingly sought after- and shielding her from Eliza's jealousy as best as possible. The more he thought, the less his anticipation made sense, for it was increasingly clear that this ball would bring him far more painful moments than pleasant ones. And yet, he watched the door, eager as a boy, for the first glimpse of Miss Heywood.

"Mr. Tom Parker, Mrs. Mary Parker, Miss Diana Parker, and Mr. Arthur Parker!" were announced, jolting Sidney out of his reverie. He watched his brothers and sisters enter the room, Diana murmuring to Arthur what was surely an unnecessary admonition of caution, and look around for familiar faces. Tom whispered to Mary, and then broke apart from them to go mingle with other guests, undoubtedly to promote Sanditon. Mary spotted Georgiana, and immediately began making her way to that part of the room.

"Good evening, Miss Lambe, Mrs. Annesley, Sidney," she greeted them happily. "You look beautiful, Miss Lambe, simply beautiful. And does this room not look splendid? There is nothing like a London ball, I dare say!"

"Surely you cannot mean to imply that you prefer London balls to Sanditon balls, Mary," Sidney teased. "What would your husband say?"

"If this ball ends with less excitement than our last Sanditon assembly," Mary replied, giving him a meaningful look, "then I think I will be forgiven, even by Tom, in saying that I prefer a London ball."

"Hmmm…you make a good point," Sidney acknowledged. "Let us hope, then, for a very dull evening."

"I hardly think this evening will reach 'dull', Sidney," Georgiana interjected, deciding to do a little teasing of her own. "You have been watching the entrance since the moment we arrived, and I do not think you have heard above half of anything I have said. I, for one, am already vastly entertained." Sidney flushed slightly, and gave his ward a sideways glance, but opted for the safety of silence. Georgiana could not resist the opportunity, and continued her playful attack. "Mary, you have not commented on how dashing Sidney looks this evening. Do you not admire his silver waistcoat? I fear that my pink dress does not set it off to true advantage, however. If only I were wearing a different colour, like a _blueish sort of green_. I think silver would set off such a shade quite handsomely. Do you not agree, Mary?"

"Georgiana…" Sidney growled softly, as Mary tried her best not to laugh. Georgiana looked up at her guardian, her eyes wide and expression innocent.

"What did I say amiss, Sidney? Are gentlemen not to receive compliments as well? That hardly seems fair. Nor am I ashamed of anything I have said. I declare it to be true that it is a very fine waistcoat, and you shall not shake my conviction."

"Whose waistcoat is so very fine, Miss L?" Mr. Arthur inquired, catching only the last remark as he and Miss Parker joined the conversation. "I chose to wear burgundy, myself, as it will not show wine stains so much, if I am jostled about in the crowd."

"Very prudent of you," Georgiana agreed, smiling fondly at him, "but I would advise you not to spill the wine at all." She had developed a rather sisterly affection for Mr. Arthur and, having no brothers or sisters of her own, quite enjoyed the light raillery that they were able to throw upon one another. "I was just complimenting your brother on his fine silver waistcoat, but I am afraid I have embarrassed him. It seems that only ladies may receive compliments on their looks and attire in this society. I am sorry, Mr. Arthur, that I can say nothing about your own burgundy waistcoat."

"It is a shame that only ladies get such compliments," Mr. Arthur replied, shaking his head. "I think I would like it very much if others told me more often how well I looked. We gentlemen can put just as much time and effort in our appearances as the ladies, you know, only we do not get any credit for it."

"Arthur, you sound a complete dandy," Sidney laughed, "but I promise you that when your hair requires a ladies maid to curl it and pin it and beribbon it and I know not what else, I will give you all the compliments and praise you wish. Until then, allow me to say what a dashing burgundy waistcoat you have this evening." Sidney gave an exaggerated bow of his head, which Arthur reciprocated. The ladies laughed, and the original topic of Sidney's choice to wear silver seemed forgotten. Looking towards the entrance, Sidney saw that Eliza was about to be announced by the caller, and excused himself from the conversation. He glanced around for a sign of Lady Worcester or Miss Heywood, though he was confident he had not missed their being announced, as he made his way to his fiancé's side. He had sincerely wished that Charlotte arrived before Eliza, so that he could have greeted her without Eliza's scrutiny, but clearly he was not to be so fortunate. He had no wish to shame or embarrass Eliza at all, but he did not know how he would be able to meet Miss Heywood in public with any semblance of indifference. He had not yet worked out how he was even to be able to ask Miss Heywood to dance, without rousing Eliza's suspicion. That she did not like Miss Heywood, and had viewed her, quite accurately, as a rival, had been quite evident at both the regatta and Lord Babington's wedding, and the few comments Eliza had let slip at the opera indicated quite clearly that her opinion was unchanged.

"Good evening, Eliza," Sidney bowed in greeting, and offered his arm as soon as Mrs. Campion was announced. "You look exceedingly lovely. What a beautiful dress! I have never seen you wear it before."

"Thank you, Sidney," she responded, as she looked at his attire, and then glanced down at her own puce silk dress. "It is indeed. The modiste assured me that this shade of puce was extremely fashionable, and I do think it complements my hair nicely. It is too bad that you are wearing silver, though. Perhaps I should have told you what colours I would be wearing, so that we looked better beside one another. We do not match very well tonight, I am sorry to say."

"I should hope you are not too much embarrassed to dance with me," Sidney replied politely, "even if our costumes are not compatible."

"I shall dance only a few sets this evening, I think," Eliza responded, as she took a glass of wine and looked around the room. "One of the great advantages to being a widow, I have found."

"You always loved dancing, when I knew you ten years ago. Have you lost your fondness for the exercise?"

"Dancing is fun, I grant you, but it no longer serves the same purpose for me. A young single lady must dance as many dances at a ball as she can, you know. She must meet as many eligible men as possible, and she dares not run the risk of seeming to be slighted by any of them, by being forced to sit out for want of a partner. The more eligible men who seek her for a dance, the more likely it is that she will eventually receive a proposal of marriage. And that, as we both know, is a young lady's main object," she explained.

"And now your main object is…?"

"Why, to gather information and news, of course! Which is much harder to do while dancing, when one is obliged to confine their conversation to the same person for half an hour. Think of everything you might miss, when you are in the middle of a set instead of watching others go down one."

Sidney gave her a polite smile, tinged with a regret that she did not notice, as they observed the growing crowd together. It struck him, not for the first time, as somewhat sad that she should still believe herself to be the same girl she was ten years ago, when he could so clearly see how much she had changed. He did not know much about her life with Mr. Campion, for it was a topic they did not much discuss, but he suspected that his had been a rather fast, worldly set and that the education she had received through her marriage had gradually worn away the innocent vivacity that he had adored in her so long ago. This sophisticated woman beside him was perhaps unremarkable among London society in her penchant for news and gossip, but he could not be captivated by it. He much preferred the sort of girl who would create her own name for the colour of her gown, than the one who made a point of asking the modiste what was in fashion at the moment.

"Lady Worcester and Miss Heywood!" the caller announced. Sidney did not know if the room truly fell silent, or if it was only that his senses became dumb to anything other than the sight of Charlotte. He did not hear the whisperings or mutterings of those around him, or Eliza's quick intake of breath, or the sounds of the instruments tuning. He sipped his wine without tasting it, or even being aware that he had raised the glass to his lips. His eyes were fixed on the spot across the room where Miss Heywood was descending the stairs in her blue-green gown, her hair swept up in elaborate curls twined with a silver ribbon. To him, she looked as beautiful as an angel, and he could not take his eyes from her.

"Mrs. Campion, is that _her_?" a voice broke through, and Sidney looked about him to realize that they had been joined by several of Eliza's intimate friends. The lady who spoke was gesturing towards Miss Heywood, who was now extending her hand to one of Lord Babington's friends. A young, unmarried friend, Sidney noted sourly, who was not letting go of her hand as rapidly as he should, but was instead leading Miss Heywood in the direction of the dance floor.

"Yes, that is Charlotte Heywood," Eliza confirmed.

"I thought you said she was nothing remarkable," the lady continued. "She is excessively pretty, I think, and she appears to be on rather good terms with many of Lady W's set." Sidney glanced down at Eliza, a slight frown on his face. Her eyes met his, and she flushed ever so slightly.

"You must have mistaken Mrs. Campion's meaning," Sidney interjected. "Miss Heywood is rather a close friend of my family's, having been my brother's and sister's guest all last summer, and Mrs. Campion is well aware that we hold her in the highest esteem. As does Lady Worcester," he added. Eliza's eyes narrowed a bit at his quick defense of Miss Heywood, but Sidney did not regret it. He would not permit Eliza's jealousy to tarnish Miss Heywood's reception in London. "Eliza, my dear, I believe I hear the music. Would you do me the great honour of dancing the first set with me?" He gave her only enough time to excuse herself to her friends before leading her away. He was hardly surprised that the first words she had for him were scolding.

"Sidney, really!" she protested, her jaw set stubbornly. "How could you have treated me so churlishly, as to rebuke me like that in front of those ladies? I am not a child, you know, to be lectured. What were you thinking? Heaven knows what they are saying, now that we have gone away."

"I was thinking, Eliza," he said coldly, "that it was quite rude to speak disparagingly of a young woman who is friends with our hostess and staying in the home of a lady whom you have described as the most influential in all of London. A young woman, I might add, who is new to town and who has done you no harm."

Her jaw still set, she curtseyed to him as the dance began. He bowed, and led her through the figures. For several moments, they danced in silence. It was Eliza who broke it.

"I cannot agree with you on that last point, Sidney," she finally said.

"I do not take your meaning, Eliza. On what do we not agree?"

"That she has done me no harm," Eliza replied. She looked towards the part of the set where Charlotte was dancing with the young lord, and, for a brief moment, her face looked rather sad.

"What possible harm could she have done you?" Sidney asked, although he dreaded to hear the answer.

"I am not a fool, you know," Eliza started. "I saw you rowing with her at the regatta, and I know you are not impartial to her. For ten years, I dreamt that we would stand together once more, but I did not imagine the shadow of another woman between us."

It was the most honest remark Eliza had made towards him in months, lacking any hint of pretense or her usual public façade. He had not expected her to drop her guard like this, during the dance, in front of so many people, and he did not know how to respond. He took refuge in the steps of the dance, which separated them for several moments, as he tried to formulate an appropriate response.

"This is hardly the place for such a conversation, Eliza," he began, "so I can only remind you that I am promised to you and no other. I can be nothing but a friend to her, or any other young lady, and I will not slight a friend. Do not ask it of me."

Eliza noticed that he did not refute that there was the shadow of another between them, but she did not press him on it. He was right that this was not the right time for such a conversation. She would not fuel the gossips, and for that same reason knew that she could not ask him to avoid Miss Heywood tonight. How he knew that she had been on the verge of requesting it, she did not know. She grudgingly had to acknowledge that as Miss Heywood was particularly acquainted with his family and he the intimate friend of Lord Babington, it would look strange if he did not ask her to dance. Still, she resolved to watch him closely during that dance, to determine if she could how partial to Miss Heywood he truly was. Whatever Sidney might say, Eliza had no intention of allowing such a girl to make a fool of her. Engaged was not yet married, after all, and it was widely understood that a lady always had the prerogative to change her mind.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This was a lot harder to write than the previous chapter! I have typed and deleted and typed and deleted so many different parts. I hope it does not disappoint!

**London**

Charlotte curtsied to the young man she had been dancing with- Lord Hastings? Herston? She was not quite sure- with a bright smile, and tried to catch her breath. It had been a lively country dance, and her partner had been a most energetic dancer. Noticing that she was out of breath, he immediately offered to fetch her some refreshment, which she accepted. He lead her over to Lady Worcester, bowed, and said that he would return with refreshment for both ladies as swiftly as he could manage.

"Well, Charlotte, you seem to be enjoying yourself a great deal," Lady Susan remarked, noting her young friend's flushed cheeks and bright eyes.

"Oh yes!" Charlotte agreed. "I love to dance! I do not think I have had such an energetic partner as Lord H before?" She allowed the slightest hint of query into her voice, hoping that Lady Susan would take the hint and supply the gentleman's name before he returned.

"Yes, young Lord Hastings seems to share your love of dancing," Lady Susan replied, with the barest wink. "I would not be surprised if he were to ask you for another set, although I would prefer to see you dance with several other young men. Not to mention a certain gentleman."

"I am not convinced a certain gentleman will ask me to dance, Susan." Charlotte responded. "He has not approached me all evening."

"All evening, you say? You mean, he has not approached you during the single set that we have been present for? The scoundrel!"

"You tease me, but I am in earnest. He is here with his future wife. How do you suppose he will be at liberty to speak to me, to say nothing of dancing, knowing how strongly she dislikes me?"

"She may dislike you, my dear, and I daresay she does, but she is very aware of how to behave in public. She does not expect him to remain by her side the entire evening, nor do I think she would wish him to, and knows full well that he will dance with other young ladies. Mark my words, he will find a way to approach you."

"And what shall I do, while he finds his way?"

"You do exactly as you have been, Charlotte. Dance, smile, and enjoy yourself. Ah, here comes Lord Hastings with our refreshments. Do not let him monopolize you, dear." She added the last in an undertone as the young gentleman drew near. He handed a glass to each lady, and regaled them with an elaborate tale of the heroics required to fetch two glasses in such a crowd without spilling a drop.

"Ah, Miss Heywood, there you are!" Mr. Arthur joined the conversation, mopping his brow with his handkerchief. "I have been sent by Miss L to find you and bring you to her. I have even promised not to stop for even the smallest morsel of nourishment on my way, her insistence was so great. May I escort you to her?" He offered his arm, and Charlotte prettily excused herself to Lord Hastings and Lady Susan. How different this ball was than her last in London! Then, she had known hardly a soul in London, and now she felt as though there were friends and acquaintances in every corner. She had to acknowledge that Lady Susan's careful planning of the last two weeks had been most effective. Charlotte felt more at ease in such high society than she ever would have imagined possible. At least, she felt at ease so long as she did not focus overmuch on a particular gentleman.

She had barely even seen him since her arrival this evening. She had tried to discretely look about the room, but had been introduced to Lord Hastings and claimed for the first set almost immediately. She caught a glimpse of Sidney during the dance, and it had taken every ounce of will to focus on Lord Hastings instead.

As Mr. Arthur and Charlotte neared the part of the room where Georgiana was standing, Charlotte hesitated the smallest amount. She now knew where Sidney and Mrs. Campion were, and it was precisely the same place Charlotte was being led. ' _Courage, Charlotte,'_ she told herself firmly. _'You will not run away this time.'_ It was exactly what Charlotte had dreaded, but she was determined to hold her head high and not allow this woman to get the best of her. Mr. Arthur, having discharged his duty to fetch Miss Heywood, excused himself to go in search of nourishment, as the exercise of walking back and forth across the ballroom had made him quite weak with hunger.

"Good evening, Georgiana," Charlotte said cheerfully. "Thank you so much for sending Mr. Arthur to bring me to you. I had not realized you had already arrived!" She turned to the other two, and gave them each the same polite smile. "Good evening, Mr. Parker, Mrs. Campion. What a lovely gown you have on, Mrs. Campion! I do not think I have seen one so elegant before." Charlotte was determined to be civil, and hoped that such an opening would curb the other lady's spite. She was not so fortunate.

"Thank you, Miss Heywood. You have chosen your dress quite bravely, I must say. I fear that shade will wash quite poorly, and you will find yourself with a rather sickly green colour that will do nothing for your complexion." Mrs. Campion gave Charlotte a simpering sort of smile in return, and a look that said quite plainly that Charlotte's attempts at kindness were both unwelcome and futile.

"We cannot all have such an exquisite understanding of colour and fabric, Mrs. Campion," Charlotte responded.

"I cannot imagine you need such a skill in the country, Miss Heywood. Particularly when one can sit all day and read….Homer, was it?" Mrs. Campion replied, in a tone of false civility.

"Among others." Charlotte would not allow Mrs. Campion to ridicule her love of reading a second time, and turned to include Georgiana in the conversation. "Miss Lambe, you have been reading some interesting pamphlets of late, have you not?"

"Indeed, I have been reading one recently put out by Mr. William Hone. Have you read any of his writings, Mrs. Campion?" Georgiana queried.

"I am afraid I have little interest in the political scribblings of common persons," Eliza replied tersely. She had no fondness for Sidney's insolent little ward, and certainly had no wish to be drawn into a political conversation of any kind with her. What was Sidney thinking, allowing the girl to read political pamphlets? She stood out enough as is, without running the risk of being branded a bluestocking.

"And how are you finding London, Miss Heywood?" Sidney interjected, giving Georgiana a quick warning glance to stay her reply. He did not know which was worse- Eliza's barely veiled aversion to his ward or her open condescension toward Miss Heywood.

"Upon the whole, it has been delightful, Mr. Parker," Charlotte responded. "Much preferable to my last visit to town, I assure you."

"I am sorry to hear you did not enjoy London before," Sidney said. "I had hoped you would have at least one fond memory of being here." His eyes met hers, as intense as when they had last been at a London ball together. As they both recalled that ball and that dance, Charlotte gave him a shy smile, and he smiled more broadly in return, eyes still locked on hers. Charlotte looked away first, uncomfortably aware of Mrs. Campion's presence beside him, and flushed.

"Indeed, I think we can all be glad that you are enjoying your little visit, Miss Heywood," Mrs. Campion inserted herself into the conversation once again. She did not care for the way Sidney and Miss Heywood looked at each other, and it made her shrewish. "It was so charitable for Lady Worcester to take you under her wing in such a fashion. Great ladies like her do love to have their little pet projects."

"You do not need to convince me of her kindness," Charlotte coolly replied. "She has been so very attentive and considerate, and has introduced me to so many interesting people. I had been concerned that I might find their London talk tedious, based on advice given to me in the past, but it has been quite the opposite." Charlotte kept her tone light, but she could tell from the narrowing of Mrs. Campion's eyes that she had understood Charlotte completely. Deciding that it would be unwise to allow the conversation to continue, Charlotte turned to Georgiana. "Miss Lambe, would you take a turn about the room with me? There is so much I wish to discuss with you, and we have hardly had a private conversation in weeks."

Georgiana readily agreed, and the two young ladies curtsied, and left the other three standing there as they walked away, arm in arm. The moment she believed them out of earshot, Georgiana let out a breath. "Good heavens! I am glad we were able to escape. What a horridly unpleasant conversation!"

"It truly was. She makes me so uncomfortable. You do not think I was too rude?" Charlotte asked.

"Too rude? No, not at all. She was hardly civil to you from the start. But I think you should be careful when dealing with Mrs. Campion, Charlotte. I have reason to believe that she dislikes you, and I would not trust her not to retaliate in some way." Georgiana wondered how much she should disclose to her friend. Should she finally tell Charlotte just how much she knew about her attachment to Sidney, and his to her? No matter how discreet Charlotte imagined herself to be, Georgiana did not believe their attachment to be a very well-kept secret. At least, it could not remain secret for long, the way the two of them had just been gazing at one another.

"She does dislike me. She has since she met me, in Sanditon. I am well aware, Georgiana, but I will not let her make a fool of me again."

"Again?" Georgiana asked, curious. She had never heard of any interactions between Charlotte and Eliza before.

Charlotte gave a small sigh. "At the regatta. She turned my love of reading and my country life into a matter of jest, and made me feel so insignificant. I could think of nothing but getting away from her as quickly as possible. I promised myself this evening that I would not allow that to happen again. But I do not think I got it quite right this time either. She makes me feel unkind, and I cannot forgive her for that."

"If it is any consolation, she does not much like me either," Georgiana confided.

"Why should she dislike you?" Charlotte asked, with no small surprise.

"I cannot be sure, but I think she resents the claim I have on Sidney's time and attention. She has never shown me the slightest attention, unless forced into it for the sake of appearances. I hope that Sidney does not expect me to live with them, once they are married. I do not wish to be under her roof. I would sooner go back to Gorgon Griffiths!"

"Have you asked him what the plans for you might be?"

"No, I have not the courage. I am still hoping that something may prevent the marriage from taking place." Georgiana watched Charlotte's face carefully, wondering if her friend would take the opening she gave. Charlotte's eyes widened, but she otherwise schooled her expression carefully.

"You do not wish him to marry her? Why not?"

"For one, because I do not think she will make him happy. For two, I believe him in love with my friend. For three, I believe my friend returns his feelings, although she has never confided as much to me. Why do you think my friend has not shared her feelings with me, Charlotte? She is not usually so reserved."

"Perhaps," Charlotte said slowly, choosing her words with care, "perhaps she recalled how strongly you disliked Mr. Parker in the past, and did not think you would be a sympathetic listener."

"I would allow that to have been true several months ago," Georgiana acknowledged, "but she has known for some time that my relationship with Sidney has changed for the better. Why would she not be candid with me now?"

"I wonder if she did not want to risk ruining your better opinion of him," Charlotte responded. "Without a full knowledge of the particulars, a sense of loyalty might have led you to judge him unfavorably or believe in error that he had ill-used your friend."

Georgiana coloured at this, recalling just how harshly she had judged Sidney, without knowing his true reasons for engaging himself to Mrs. Campion. Perhaps Charlotte had good reason not to confide in her after all. It was an uncomfortable thought, and Georgiana tucked it away for later. "And if I could reassure her that this would not be the case? If I could tell her now that I do not think less of him, would she unburden herself?"

"I would imagine that she might still be embarrassed to speak openly of her attachment. She can hardly feel proud of her partiality for a man promised to another."

"She would not be the first girl to fall in love with someone who seems unattainable," Georgiana replied, "but I do not think her case is so hopeless. Certainly less hopeless than my own had been, and she had been very willing to do everything in her power to help me. I wish I could reassure her I would be happy to help her in any way possible."

"I am sure she knows, Georgiana. But what help could you possibly give?"

"At the moment? I can help shield her from spiteful widows. Beyond that…I will think of something." The two girls smiled at one another, and Charlotte squeezed Georgiana's hand lightly, managing to convey her gratitude for her friend's understanding and support. Charlotte turned the conversation then to lighter topics, and the girls conversed for several minutes more until forced to part when they were both claimed for the next dance set. Georgiana squeezed Charlotte's hand, and went to take her place with her mind and heart lighter for having removed some of Charlotte's reserve. Charlotte's mind was a jumble of thoughts and feelings, most of which she pushed aside until she could be alone and quiet.

Lady Susan stood beside Lady Babington, and watched with pleasure as her young friend danced the next several sets, each with a different eligible young man. She also noted how closely Mr. Sidney Parker, standing not far away from her own vantage point, watched Miss Heywood, and that Mrs. Campion had danced two dances with Lord Hampton and was currently deeply engaged in animated conversation with him. "I think, Lady Babington," she suggested, "that it is very warm in here. Do you not feel the need for some air?"

Lady Babington turned to Lady Susan, surprised by the suddenness of the suggestion. She did not find the room all that warm, but did not want to contradict her guest. Lady Susan, however, was still watching Miss Heywood dance. "Do you wish for my company on the terrace, my lady?" she asked, confused.

"No, I think I will get Miss Heywood to accompany me. She seems rather overheated from all that dancing. I see that Mr. Sidney Parker is not dancing at the moment, and I am sure he would be pleased to escort you to the terrace."

Lady Babington gave Lady Susan an arch look, now comprehending the lady's meaning. "Thank you for the suggestion, Lady Worcester. I am feeling rather warm, now that you mention it. A bit of fresh air would do me a great deal of good, I am sure." The two ladies shared a brief conspiratorial look, before Lady Babington excused herself to approach Sidney. Lady Susan watched only long enough to see him politely extend his arm to Lady Babington before she, too, walked away. Within moments, she had collected Charlotte before she could be engaged for another dance and suggested some air on the terrace.

"Oh yes, thank you, Susan!" Charlotte exclaimed, catching her breath. "I cannot remember the last time I have danced so much. Fresh air sounds delightful." She happily took Lady Susan's arm, and the ladies ventured outside to the terrace.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**London**

Charlotte and Lady Susan walked through the terrace doors, and Charlotte immediately felt refreshed from the evening air. She knew she would not be able to stay outside for too long, as the short sleeves of her gown left her arms too bare for a November night, but the respite from the heat and close air of the crowded ballroom was most welcome. She felt grateful to Lady Susan for recognizing that Charlotte needed a break from dancing, and, if she were to be honest, a break from polite conversation with strangers. As agreeable as all her dance partners had been so far, it took considerable effort to stay smiling and cheerful for so many half hours together, even when not obliged to speak. A few minutes of companionable silence outside would be the perfect restorative.

Upon noticing others also seeking the coolness of the evening air, Charlotte felt a moment's disappointment that her silent respite may not happen, until realizing that two of those people were Lady Babington and Sidney. Suddenly, companionable silence no longer held quite the appeal.

"Ah, Lady Babington, Mr. Parker, may we join you?" Lady Susan asked, as she and Charlotte drew closer. "I see you had the same idea we did, of a moment outside in the fresh air."

"Indeed, Lady Susan, I was finding it rather warm inside, and Mr. Parker was gentlemanly enough to keep me company," Lady Babington replied smoothly, her tone implying she found something droll. Charlotte could not understand what might be amusing about a hot ballroom, but Lady Babington had always had a rather dry sense of humour.

"And what are we discussing?" Lady Susan inquired. "I hope we are not interrupting."

"Not at all," Sidney replied. "We have only just stepped outside ourselves, and have not gotten beyond discussing the weather."

"And what is your opinion of the weather, Mr. Parker?" Charlotte asked, her eyes twinkling. "Would you have said today had been a fine, fresh sort of day?"

"It is rare to have a fine, fresh day in London, Miss Heywood. But as balls are indoor events, I suppose the weather does not matter overmuch." Sidney flashed a hint of a smile, pleased beyond measure that Charlotte felt comfortable teasing him and that she remembered so clearly the awkward conversation from that morning on the cliffs.

"No, I suppose not," Charlotte agreed, "but fine weather is welcome nonetheless."

"I myself am finding it much cooler than I had anticipated," Lady Babington remarked, "and I think I should return indoors and see to a matter concerning the chocolates. Lady Worcester, I would be very grateful for your assistance."

"Certainly, my dear Lady Babington. I am flattered, and happy to offer my assistance. Mr. Parker, I leave Miss Heywood to your care. Please do not allow her to catch cold by remaining out of doors too long." Sidney assured Lady Susan that he would take good care of her friend, and watched the two ladies return to the ballroom. He was growing fonder of Lady Susan by the moment.

"Well, now that we have discussed the weather, Mr. Parker, I suppose we must now share our opinions of the roads? Or is that only in the country? What are the acceptable topics of polite conversation in London?" Charlotte took refuge in light teasing, for she had no idea what to say to Sidney now that they were alone. There seemed very few safe topics.

"I believe that, if we are to be quite proper, I should now compliment you on your very beautiful gown and tell you that you outshine the room. What would you call that lovely colour, Miss Heywood?"

"It hardly seems complimentary to tell a young lady that she outshines the room while she is standing on a dim terrace, sir."

"I fear, Miss Heywood," Sidney replied with an exaggerated sigh, "that I am at somewhat of a loss. It seems, based on past experience of our conversations, that I either end up lecturing you or else sounding like a complete fool. Why do you suppose that is?"

"I most likely earned at least some of those lectures, though I will not go so far as to claim to have deserved all of them," Charlotte responded warmly, "and you have _never_ sounded like a fool." The light-heartedness of their conversation seemed to suddenly drop away, as their eyes met once again. Sidney shook his head, and looked at her steadily as he replied, "No, you have not earned any of what I have put you through, and you cannot convince me that I am not the greatest fool in England. I wonder you can even bear to speak to me."

"I…I cannot pretend to misunderstand you," Charlotte said softly, "but you need not be so hard on yourself. You must realize that I have long since forgiven you."

"Then you have forgiven me far sooner than I forgive myself. Charlotte…Miss Heywood…please believe that there is so much I wish I were at liberty to say." Sidney motioned as though he were going to take her hand, but recollected himself at the last moment and balled his hand into a fist. "Tell me that you understand me."

"I believe I do," Charlotte replied. She looked away from him for a moment, fighting for her composure. "And if a time comes when you are free to speak, then I will listen. But until…unless that moment comes, I think it dangerous to indulge this topic again, Mr. Parker."

"Dangerous? To whom?"

"To me," Charlotte acknowledged frankly. "Do you not see how much I have to lose?" Her voice broke slightly, as her composure slipped.

"Do you not see that I am already lost?" he shot back. "What would you have me do, Miss Heywood? Am I to pretend that you are no different to me than Diana or Georgiana? It is impossible. I cannot feel less than I do."

"Neither can I! And you know that I have never been able to hide my feelings so well as you. Perhaps," Charlotte suggested dejectedly, "perhaps we ought try not to see one another. I will only be in London another month or so."

"Is that really what you want?" Sidney asked, dropping his voice, and inching closer to her. "To not see each other?"

"You know it is not," she replied, "but the situation has not changed any more than our feelings have. And if I may, being in company with your Mrs. Campion has hardly proven an experience I wish to repeat. I will not be responsible for injuring your fiancé, nor tormenting you. What other course of action do we have?"

"I do not know," Sidney admitted, dispiritedly. "I have no wish to embarrass Eliza, regardless of my true feelings for her. I cannot bear the idea of causing you a moment's more pain than I already have. And yet, to know that you are in London and not be able to see you, to speak with you- even if it must only be about the weather- I am not equal to it. If these next four weeks are all we are to have, then I will not give up a precious moment of them…unless it is truly what you wish."

Charlotte turned away from him, not wishing him to see the tear slide down her cheek. Never had it been so difficult to decide what was right. She knew that she would be unable to spend the month in London without seeing him, even if she wished it. She would have to give up Georgiana and all the Parkers to ensure that she not encounter him, and that was a price she was unwilling to pay. They were her connection to Sanditon, and severing that would be like cutting off a piece of her heart. She also suspected that Lady Susan would not be easily deterred from her matchmaking plans, and would have several tricks to prevent Charlotte from avoiding Sidney entirely. Above all, her heart whispered, she did not wish to avoid him. It was as he said- if these four weeks were the last she would have before he was married and lost to her forever, then she would not give up a single precious moment. She turned back to him, hastily wiping the tear from her cheek. "I do not see how this can end happily, for either of us," she spoke from her heart, "but neither can I see how we could avoid each other, knowing so many of the same people. What shall we do?"

"We shall dance," he said unexpectedly, stepping back and holding out his hand to her.

"Dance?" she repeated weakly.

"That is what people do at balls, is it not, Miss Heywood?" he responded, flashing a hint of a smile. "If speaking is not safe, then we will not speak, but we can and will dance. Besides, I have only danced with you once before, and that seems an unforgiveable crime." He forced himself to smile, and adopt an attitude of gaiety. He would not allow this time alone with Charlotte to end with tears. Not again.

"Twice," she responded, with a ghost of a smile, as she placed her hand in his.

"Twice? No, that cannot be," he protested, leading her into the ballroom. "We danced at Mrs. Maudsley's masque, but everyone and his brother kept me from dancing with you at the Midsummer's ball. You must be mistaken."

"I am not, I assure you!" she insisted. "Have you forgotten the first assembly in Sanditon? I know you remember our conversation on the balcony, but do you truly have no memory of dancing?"

"I remember being an utter ass on the balcony, Miss Heywood, and I remember dancing a few sets that night, but not with you." Sidney kept his face completely bland. "Surely you must be confusing me with some other gentleman. Sir Edward, perhaps. I am sure you must have danced with Sir Edward."

"I think you are funning me, Mr. Parker," Charlotte said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I cannot find anything amusing about dancing with Sir Edward. He is too tall, and has always put me in mind of a stork."

"Do not change the subject, sir. It was you with whom I danced, and no mistake. We spoke about your brother's ambitions for Sanditon, and whether or not such things mattered to you. I do not imagine you discuss such things with every young lady you dance with."

"Do not let my brother overhear you saying that not every young lady is fascinated by Sanditon's odds of success," Sidney replied. "He will surely never forgive you."

"I suppose I cannot be too surprised that you do not remember dancing with me," Charlotte went on, ignoring his remark. She had a suspicion that Sidney was teasing her, but she would not be at ease until she had reassured herself that he was jesting. The idea that he did not recall an encounter that she remembered so vividly was mortifying. "You barely looked at me the entire time we danced. You only asked me because your friends had left you no choice. I am sorry I was not more memorable."

"I did not need to look at you while dancing," Sidney replied, as he handed her into position at the bottom of the set. "I already knew that you were rather fetching in your white muslin dress, with a white feather in your hair, and a silver necklace on a bit of ribbon around your neck." Charlotte's eyes flew to his as she curtsied. He kept his face expressionless, but she could see the laughter in his eyes. "And I must thank you for flattering my vanity so thoroughly by proving how well you remember that dance."

"It seems your own memory is sharper than you initially let on," Charlotte countered, before the dance forced them to part for a few steps. "I suppose I should be equally flattered."

"Indeed you should be," he readily agreed, when they were again close enough to speak, "although I am stung that you would believe I did not remember."

"You must admit that I was right about your reluctance to dance with me that night. You did not take many pains to disguise it."

"I will admit no such thing," Sidney gallantly replied, "but if I had not been eager to dance with you then, I can only say, yet again, that I was an utter ass that night. Allow me to reassure you that my opinion on dancing with you now is completely the opposite."

* * *

"They make a rather handsome couple," Lord Hampton drawled, watching Eliza's face as she observed Mr. Sidney Parker dance with Lady Worcester's little friend. "And it is clear they already know each other rather well."

Eliza ignored his remark, wishing she could equally ignore the truth of it. They did look well together, although she would rather put that down to flattering combination of his costume with hers. The silver of his waistcoat went quite well with her cerulean silk dress, and she could not help but suspect that it was, somehow, not a coincidence. Yet the idea that Sidney had either known or cared what the girl would be wearing tonight was preposterous. He never gave a fig when Eliza spoke about fashion. Equally truthful was Lord Hampton's observation on how easy Sidney and little Miss Heywood were with one another, and he would not be the only one to notice. Lord Hampton was perhaps the first to be so audacious as to comment on it in front of her, but she knew he would not be the last. Eliza detested being the subject of gossip…at least gossip that she did not plant herself. "What is your opinion of Miss Heywood, Lord Hampton?" she asked him, curious how he would respond. "Are you as enamoured of her as all of London seems to be?"

"She has a certain vivacious charm, I grant you," he replied, his tone dismissive. He sipped his drink, while eyeing the girl as she went down the set with Mr. Parker. "And she certainly appears to advantage when dancing. I imagine there are many men who would find her bright eyes and flushed cheeks rather…stimulating."

"And are you one of those men, sir?" Eliza pressed.

"You wound me, madam. A rosy-cheeked country girl holds no fascination for me. I can find a dozen of them in any village in England. After our many, many conversations, I would have hoped you had detected that I far prefer a more _sophisticated_ sort of woman. Particularly if I were to be contemplating a union of any lasting duration, you understand."

"To the best of my knowledge, Lord Hampton, you have been more likely to actively avoid such a union, rather than contemplate forming one. Have you recently had a change of heart?" Eliza's attention was immediately captured by the intimation that the elusive Lord Hampton might be searching for a wife. That would be precisely the delicious bit of gossip she could use to turn conversations away from Lady Worcester's ubiquitous houseguest.

"Change of heart? Not especially. I have had my eye on a particular lady, that is true, but matrimony is hardly a matter of the heart, Mrs. Campion. I would have expected you to know that. Unless you are going to try to convince me that your marriage to old Campion was a love match?"

"Good heavens, no! I was eighteen and he was five and forty. What sort of love could I have possibly looked for in such a marriage? Every young lady has a duty to do the best she can for herself, and I discharged my duty rather well," Eliza replied. "But if not for love, why would you contemplate marriage with a particular lady?"

"A man has his duties as well, Mrs. Campion, and a lord has more than most. The duty to provide an heir, the duty to keep the family coffers full, the duty to retain one's place in society…these cannot be fulfilled without a wife."

"Then I am rather surprised that you have not already got one. Surely you, a peer of the realm, do not anticipate any difficulties in acquiring your lady?" Eliza probed, hoping that there would be some barrier to his happiness that she could spread among her friends. The news of Lord Hampton being unsuccessful in courtship would be even more effective than the news that he was looking for a wife.

"I am afraid that there is one small challenge."

"I am shocked to hear it. I hope it is a small one indeed, and easily overcome. A lack of dowry, perhaps? Unsuitable connections?"

"Worse, I am sorry to say."

"You may confide in me, Lord Hampton," Eliza assured him. "I am the soul of discretion."

"She is spoken for," he replied. "I had only just begun to think that she would make an exemplary Lady Hampton, when she engaged herself to some mere mister. It seems she has an old affection for him, from when they were children."

Eliza looked at him swiftly, but he was still watching the dancing. Surely he did not mean… "Then the lady is married, sir? That is more than a small barrier, I am afraid."

"She is not yet married, hence my hope that the challenge may be but a small one. I have the greatest regard for her good sense, you see, and therefore have reason to hope that she might soon realize that she could make a far more suitable alliance for herself."

"You seem quite sure that the lady is fully aware of her options," Eliza replied archly. "If you wish to secure her, Lord Hampton, allow me to advise you to be more explicit in your attentions."

"Your advice is most welcome, my dear Mrs. Campion. What, precisely, would you suggest that I do?"

"If you wish for your lady to chose to become Lady Hampton, then you must help her see the advantages of such a role. Perhaps a ride in the park together, to allow her imagination to picture how it might be for the two of you as a couple?" she suggested, with a coquettish blink of her large blue eyes.

"That is an excellent suggestion, Mrs. Campion. I shall call for you this Thursday at two o'clock, should the weather permit it."

"I look forward to it, Lord Hampton," she replied, before giving a deep curtsey and leaving him to go find one of her friends. She would certainly need to plant the news that Lord Hampton was looking for a wife, but would hold back the knowledge of whom he preferred. That delicious little bit could wait until she decided how much she wished to take this new opportunity. She would wait for Thursday, and try to get the measure of Lord Hampton better during their ride. Lord Hampton was neither as handsome nor as complicated a man as Sidney Parker, but he came with a title and status that she would never obtain as Mrs. Parker. Then again, she need not rush her decision. January was still several weeks away.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I apologize for the delay between this chapter and the last! I needed to think about what it would be like for Charlotte the next morning. Thanks for your patience, and for your wonderful, encouraging feedback!

**London**

Charlotte sat at the writing table in her room, pen in hand, absently looking out the window at the passing carriages as she tried, for the fourth time that morning, to continue her letter to her sister. She had kept her most recent letter open, so that she might add a report of Lady Babington's ball, but the words simply would not come. Oh, she had done her best to do justice to the room, the gowns, the food, the music- in short, descriptions of everything but what Alison would be most eager to learn. She gave as faithful an account as she could of all her dancing partners, save one, and included an amusing anecdote concerning Mr. Arthur Parker and a roast partridge. Charlotte shared openly with Alison her not insignificant nerves leading up to the ball, and her great sense of relief when she was greeted so pleasantly by so many new acquaintances. She had even been able to include a few lines about her brief, unpleasant interaction with Mrs. Campion. And yet the two interactions that she was most unable to keep from dwelling on- the conversation on the terrace and the dance immediately following- were precisely the parts of the ball about which she was least able to write.

Charlotte did not wish to keep any secrets from her sister, and she knew Alison would be considerably surprised if Charlotte's letter held no mention of Sidney Parker at all, but how did she commit to paper the very words she had refused to allow Sidney to say out loud? Once sent, the words on that page could never be taken back or forgotten. Charlotte recollected the letter she had been writing to Alison on that day Sidney returned to Sanditon with the news of his engagement- thank heavens he had not arrived a day later! Charlotte could easily imagine her mortification if she would have been obliged to follow that letter, containing her hopes for her own future, with one announcing the futility of those hopes. The awareness of that mortification contributed to her current difficulty in composing this letter. She had never struggled in writing to Alison before, but her current situation seemed such a tangle of contradictions that she hardly knew what to write. She knew that her attachment to Sidney was returned in full measure; he was just as engaged and unobtainable as ever. They could scarcely dare be near one another, lest they display too much of their feelings; they could not bear to avoid each other so long as Charlotte was in London. But she had to write something, and she bent once again to her paper.

_My dearest Alison will, of course, have many questions about the presence of a certain gentleman at the ball. You can easily imagine that I was quite nervous to encounter him there, and in the presence of Mrs. C (and you really must stop referring to her as Mrs. Cow, my dearest, or I shall never be able to hold my countenance when I am next forced to speak with her). He behaved in a most gentleman-like fashion, treating me with the civility expected of a family friend. We had a few moments conversation together, and one dance. There was an awkward moment or two, when I think neither of us knew quite what to say to one another, but this passed and we were able to converse easily on Sanditon and our mutual acquaintances there._

Charlotte stopped writing again, knowing that this would never satisfy her sister's curiosity. While completely truthful, it was a rather surface description of their interactions, and Alison was too clever to be fooled. Yet what else could she safely write? She could hardly tell Alison the substance of their conversation. If Alison were to know, as Charlotte now did without a doubt, that Charlotte was as dear to Sidney as she ever had been, she would immediately begin to imagine a happy future for them both. Alison had agreed not to hope too much, and had expressed her understanding that love did not inevitably result in marriage, but Charlotte knew her sister's sensibilities, and that she would immediately respond with a letter full of encouragement and anticipation. Such a letter would be more than Charlotte would be able to bear, for she had been quite truthful when she told Sidney that she foresaw no happy ending for either of them.

_Mr. Parker's wedding is to take place in January, I believe. He did not speak of his wedding, nor did I ask. There are some topics too uncomfortable to discuss, and so we agreed not to attempt it. If he were ever at liberty again, I believe we would have a great deal to say to one another, but I do not think that day will ever come. I am sure that our paths will cross while I am in London, as we know many of the same friends, and I hope that there will not be any further awkwardness. Surely the worst is over, now that we have conversed and danced together so publicly, and I need not feel nervous to encounter him again. Lady Susan wished for me to dance with several eligible gentlemen, which I did, and I can honestly say that I found some of them to be very pleasing young men. Who is to say that I may not meet a natural cure to my current predicament here in London?_

Reviewing what she had written, Charlotte shook her head slightly. Alison would not believe that last line any more than she herself did, but she did not cross it out. The only natural cure she could imagine was the unlikely news that Eliza Campion quit the field and gave Sidney up. But neither did she intend to live her life as an old maid in Willingden, simply because the first man she truly cared for was married to someone else. Someday she would undoubtedly meet a pleasant man with whom she was compatible, but that day would not be any time soon.

A knock on her door interrupted her musings, and Lady Susan entered upon hearing Charlotte's gentle "Enter," holding a letter in her hand. "Goodness, Charlotte, you have been in here for ages! Surely you cannot still be writing to your sister?"

Charlotte looked out the window again, this time actually noticing the outside environs. The lateness of the afternoon took her by surprise "I had no idea I had been sitting her for so long, Susan. I am so sorry. Did you need me?"

"No, no, not at all, my dear. But you must be uncomfortable after sitting for so long. I am sure your hand must be tired. Have you finished your letter?"

"Not quite," Charlotte confessed.

"Well, here is something that may help," Lady Susan replied, holding out the letter to Charlotte. It was in Alison's hand, and was postmarked four days prior. Lady Susan left Charlotte to read her letter, after exhorting her to come downstairs and go for a drive as soon as she was finished reading it. Charlotte readily consented, and then turned her attention to the letter. The beginning was an account of their sister Jane, who had recently caught cold but was mending rapidly, and the news that a fox had gotten into Mrs. Wilcox's henhouse. After a few more lines of Willingden news, such as it was, the topic and tone changed.

_My dearest, dearest Charlotte, I take up my pen again to communicate the most wonderful news. Mr. Taylor has asked for my hand, and I have agreed. Papa and Mamma have given their consent, as has Mr. Taylor's father in Yorkshire, for Mr. Taylor had already written to his father before coming to ask for a private audience with me. He has agreed to come for a visit in two weeks, so that he and Mrs. Taylor may meet us, and that he and Papa can negotiate the engagement details. My Mr. Taylor (and now I may say that._ _My_ _Mr. Taylor) reassures me that his father is a liberal man, and that he has no worries of any impediments from that source. As for his mother…I do not know what sort of girl Mrs. Taylor had in mind for a daughter-in-law, and I am afraid she might be disappointed in me. How I long for you to hold my hand, and tell me what a silly girl I am being! Mr. Taylor- it will soon become confusing to write, with all the Mr. Taylors and Mrs. Taylors that we shall have- I will start calling him William in my letters. I have not yet called him anything other than Mr. Taylor in person of course, but I have thought of him as 'William' so often these past few weeks. William says that he knows his mother will love me, as he does, but I would believe it more if I heard it from my most beloved sister as well. He is a lover, and has to praise me during our courtship, whereas sisters may speak to each other quite differently. I trust no one's judgement so well as I trust yours._

_While we do not know exactly what Mr. Taylor, the elder, will forward to us or when we might hope to be married, Papa has been able to give us his assurances about my dowry and what I may spend on wedding clothes. Since you cannot be here with me in Willingden, I wonder if my Charlotte would be willing to help buy my wedding clothes in London? Mamma says she will send a list of the warehouses she would have you visit, and what you may spend. I would have no idea how to go about it, anyway. Perhaps Lady Susan would enjoy assisting you? I will be the finest bride in Willingden, if an actual countess has a hand in purchasing my new things! Write back as soon as you can, so that Mamma can send her list. You see how confident I am that you will say yes?_

_Oh, my Charlotte, I am so happy that I can hardly write! I wish you were here with me to share in the joy, and to help quell my nerves when the Taylors arrive. There are only two things that could make my happiness more complete- your presence, and the knowledge that you were equally happy. I have not forgotten that, by the time this letter reaches you, you will have been to a certain ball with a certain person._

_Your loving sister,_

_Alison_

Charlotte read over the letter two times, feeling her sister's happiness and rejoicing in it. The ending, however, made her blink back sudden tears that she could not attribute to joy. She was delighted for Alison and her Mr. Taylor, yet she could not help but feel the force of the comparison between her sister's situation and her own. Her own equal happiness seemed so far out of her reach at the moment. She folded her letter, setting it aside on her desk for later, and went downstairs to fulfil her promise to Lady Susan.

"Is everything alright, Charlotte?" Lady Susan asked, only a few moments into their drive. "You seem rather distracted. I hope you did not receive bad news from home?"

"Oh no! Quite the contrary, Susan," Charlotte exclaimed. "My sister Alison- you remember Alison, do you not- has just informed me that she is engaged to be married."

"That is wonderful news, I am sure," Lady Susan replied, surprised that Charlotte had said nothing when she came downstairs from her room. She was well aware of the close relationship between the sisters. "You have no objection to the gentleman, do you?"

"Not at all," Charlotte replied. "Mr. Taylor seems an excellent young man, and I have no doubts of either his attachment to my sister or their chances of happiness. He is the curate of Willingden, and my parents must be happy that Alison's marriage will not take her too far from her family."

"Then forgive me for asking, my dear, but why do you not seem happy?" Lady Susan asked, more confused than before.

Charlotte gave a sheepish smile. "I am very happy for Alison, truly. I suppose it is just that I….well, I know it is small of me, Susan, but I am a bit envious of my sister, and ashamed to feel so."

"Do not feel ashamed, dear girl," Lady Susan replied gently, reaching over and taking Charlotte's hand. She did not need any further explanation, and would not make Charlotte offer one. "Of course you feel it! And to receive such news today, when I am sure your thoughts are quite full of your own interest…I am sure that I do not know anyone who has the fortitude to keep self from intruding."

"You are quite right. I cannot help but compare her successful courtship with my own…courtship is not even the proper word for it. But it is not just that, Susan."

"What else is there, Charlotte?"

Charlotte sighed lightly, glad for the comfort of both Susan's hand and calm understanding. "Alison has asked if I would buy her wedding clothes for her, as I am already in town. Which, of course, is a sound suggestion, to spare my mother and sister the time and expense of their own trip. And certainly there are more options here in London than in any town closer to home."

"But you do not wish to agree to it?" Lady Susan inquired.

"No, I do wish to help. Particularly since I am not at home to share in her happiness with her right now. And yet, to be buying wedding clothes for my sister, when only a few months back I might have looked forward to buying my own…I do not know how I can do what she asks without feeling this twinge of envy. And I do not want to carry this feeling with me day after day. I should not be able to bear it, I don't think."

"Oh, my dear Charlotte!" Lady Susan exclaimed. "Your love for your sister will support you, as I will. We will do all of the shopping together, and you will take pride in being useful to Miss Alison. Your letters to your sister will be full of the details of fabrics and warehouses and shopgirls, and you will find it far easier to write her about linen than about love, I daresay. And when the task is complete, you will be able to look back and see that you were able to bear it far better than you anticipated. I have great faith in you, my dear."

Charlotte smiled tremulously, wishing to believe that Lady Susan was correct in her predictions. Lady Susan was not wrong that it would likely be beneficial for Charlotte to have something tangible to attend to over the next few weeks, so that she was not dwelling overmuch on Sidney Parker. She nodded her agreement, and when the two ladies returned home, she immediately went back to her room to finish her letter.

_Dearest Alison, I have just received your exciting news, and I wish you more joy than this letter can possibly hold. You must write me again, and send me every detail of how he proposed. I wish to receive a letter full of 'William', so that I may begin to feel that I know my brother-elect better. I shall read your letter in bed, and pretend that we are whispering together in our room after the younger ones have already fallen asleep. Lady Susan sends her felicitations, and heartily agrees to assist with the purchasing. We shall begin immediately upon receipt of Mamma's lists. I also wish I could be there with you in this season of happiness, but know that I will always be_

_Your affectionate sister,_

_Charlotte_

She sealed the letter quickly, and brought it downstairs to post. Lady Susan was just placing her own letter on the tray, and Charlotte noticed that it was a small envelope addressed to Lady Babington. As this was nothing so extraordinary, Charlotte thought nothing of it as she went to library in search of something to read before supper.

* * *

_Number 6 Charles Street_

_16 November 1819_

_My dear Lady Babington,_

_I must compliment you again on your delightful ball last night. It was everything I could have hoped for._

_Our conversation about the chocolates has given me an idea, and I wonder if I might have the honour of your company tomorrow afternoon for a tête-à-tête. Would two o'clock be agreeable? Miss Heywood will be spending the afternoon with Miss Lambe._

_Yours, etc,_

_Susan, Lady Worcester_


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the risk of repeating myself, thank you so much for the feedback! It warms my heart! This is my first attempt at any writing project of this kind, and I am blown away by your support.  
> Our HEA is getting closer. I promise!

**London**

"You are sure that you do not mind my spending the afternoon with Georgiana?" Charlotte asked, as she waited in the vestibule for the carriage to come around.

"Not in the slightest!" Lady Susan insisted. "I am not so much older than you that I do not remember how necessary it is for young ladies to get together after a ball to discuss it. And since you were unable to meet your friend yesterday, it would be cruel of me to make you wait yet another day to talk over your evening at Lady Babington's. Nor am I incapable of entertaining myself in your absence. An afternoon alone can be a luxury, when in town. Do not give it another thought, Charlotte. Off you go!"

Charlotte bid Susan farewell, still feeling the slightest bit guilty for leaving her so many hours. After all of Susan's kind attentions, she felt it right to be as obliging a companion as possible, matching her own schedule and demands on her time to Susan's. Yet it was also conceivable that Susan, accustomed as she was to living alone, actually preferred to have the house to herself for a short while. She certainly did not seem at all put out that Charlotte had made other plans, but had encouraged her to spend the entire afternoon with her friend.

Lady Susan watched Charlotte out the door, and then instructed her footman to show Lady Babington to the front parlour as soon as she arrived. She settled herself in the parlour in her preferred chair, and occupied herself with a book of poetry while she waited. She did not need to wait long. The clock had scarcely struck two when the footman opened the door to the room and announced Lady Babington.

"Do come in, Lady Babington," Lady Susan greeted her warmly, gesturing to the chair next to hers. "I am pleased that you were able to join me on such short notice."

"How could I refuse?" Lady Babington replied. "I am most curious to hear your idea about….chocolates, was it?"

Lady Susan laughed. There was something so delightfully droll about Lady Babington's tones and expressions. She really was quite an original. "Ah yes, the chocolates. Tell me, Lady Babington, how would you describe your relationship with my young friend, Miss Heywood? I believe you met in Sanditon, did you not?""

Though her serene countenance betrayed nothing, Esther was surprised by the question. She had, of course, suspected that subject of this unexpected tête-à-tête would turn out to be about Charlotte- and Sidney Parker- and had only wondered how long they would make idle, polite conversation before the subject arose. It seems she had not given Lady Worcester nearly enough credit for getting straight to the point. "Yes, we met in Sanditon this past summer," she acknowledged. "It is not a large village, so our paths crossed with regularity."

"That is hardly an answer I could not have figured out on my own," Lady Susan remarked, her tone lightly chiding.

"She stood up at my wedding, so I would call her a friend. May I ask to what these questions tend, Lady Worcester? Why is my relationship with Miss Heywood of such interest to you?" Esther was unwilling to impart any further information without gathering some of her own. There were few secrets between newlyweds, after all, and Lord Babington had long since told her both of Sidney's feelings about his engagement and of Lady Worcester's inclination to meddle in it. And while her husband was inclined to assist in any scheme the lady devised, if it would free his old friend from an unhappy marriage, Esther preferred to make her own decisions. Charlotte Heywood had been a steady, supportive presence in Sanditon after Edward's banishment, and Esther felt somewhat protective of her. She knew that she was not the sort of woman to be easily on intimate terms with other ladies, but her relationship with Charlotte was something she wished to preserve.

"You do not trust me, Lady Babington?" Lady Susan was highly amused, and appreciative of the other lady's guarded responses. So many members of the _beau monde_ were far too apt to respond to Lady Susan in whichever way they thought would bets please her, but Lady Babington clearly trusted her own abilities and kept her own counsel. She would make a worthy co-conspirator, indeed!

"That is putting it a bit too strongly, my lady," Esther replied. She understood the difference between plain speaking with her aunt in the familiarity of Sanditon House and speaking so frankly as to give offense in London. Lady Worcester was certainly not a personage she wished to offend. "I prefer to say that I am cautious of answering without understanding the purpose of the conversation."

"Oh come, no more "my ladies" between us, I think. If we are to be forthright, then I think you ought to call me Susan. May I call you Esther?" Esther nodded her consent, her expression a mix between guarded and gratified. "Well, then, Esther, I ask about your friendship with Miss Heywood so that I might determine whether you are a kindred spirit when it comes to advancing her interests. I have reason to believe that your husband sees a certain situation in the same light as I, but I am well aware that some matters require a woman's hand to see them set to rights."

Esther smiled for the first time since arriving at Lady Worcester's home. "Matters of the heart, I assume? I am hardly an expert, you know. I have been married for only a few months, and spent most of my single years fending off any potential suitors with disdain and hauteur."

"Is that a course you would recommend for Miss Heywood?" Susan asked, unwilling to allow herself to become distracted, although Esther Babington grew more fascinating by the moment. "Or would you prefer to see her as happily settled as you are now?"

"You must know that I wish for her happiness. I do not think you would have invited me here today had you suspected that I was not a staunch advocate for Charlotte Heywood. And since you wrote that you have an idea, I imagine that you wish for my assistance in furthering a match between Charlotte and a certain friend of my husband's?"

"Your reputation as a clever woman does not disappoint, Esther."

"At the risk of appearing falsely modest, Susan, it was not particularly difficult to divine that you wished to create an opportunity for Mr. Parker to be alone with Miss Heywood. But it will take more than stolen moments on a terrace to bring about their match. There is a rather large impediment to their happiness together."

"You mean Mrs. Campion, I presume?" Susan brushed that off with a negligent wave of her hand. "I think that Mrs. C might come to the realization that Mr. Parker is not her most suitable option. However, I believe that she will need some assistance coming to this conclusion, which brings us to my idea."

Esther gave Susan a quizzical look. "You believe that she is not very attached to Mr. Parker? Despite their history?"

"Would you have pushed back your wedding to Lord Babington by five months, once you were secure of him?" Susan responded, lifting a brow. "No woman who truly loved would delay her marriage by so long, let alone one who has, by reports, been pining for her betrothed for ten years."

"Fair point," Esther acknowledged. She had spent longer trying to keep Babington at bay that she had spent engaged to him. Once she had consented to marry, she had been as eager as he to be wed quickly. "But I would not have accepted a man that I did not wish to marry, so I can only assume that she must have reasons of her own for engaging herself to him. A woman in her position- a widow of wealth- loses more by breaking an engagement than in remaining unattached."

"Then we must divine what those reasons might be, and help Mrs. Campion realize that her own objectives will be better met if she does _not_ become Mrs. Parker."

"That is very obliging and helpful of you, Susan," Esther affirmed, biting back a smile. "I believe that I might hazard a guess as to her reasons, from what I know of the lady, and I would be very much surprised if the same guess had not already occurred to you. But I cannot figure out what your idea might be, nor how I might be of assistance."

"You may have noticed that our dear Charlotte has been the topic of much speculation since her arrival in town?"

"Indeed, and I daresay that her popularity at the ball the other night only fueled the flames. You wish to add another log or two to that fire? I will not spread gossip about her, you know. That is not my way of doing things."

"I would not ask it of you. No, I have something else in mind. Tell me, Esther, what do you think that our general acquaintance would say if Charlotte and I were noticed to be shopping for wedding clothes?"

"They would certainly assume that a wedding was imminent, and would be immeasurably curious as to the gentleman's identity, of course," Esther replied, mystified as to where this was leading. "You ask me to state the obvious. Susan, why would Charlotte shop for wedding clothes? It would hardly advance her interests for either Mr. Parker or Mrs. Campion to believe her engaged to someone else. I rather think that would make their own wedding inevitable."

"Charlotte will be shopping for wedding clothes for her sister," Lady Susan explained, "and I need your help figuring out how to prevent this from having precisely the impact that you have just stated. It will be immediately assumed that she has come to town for this purpose, and everything that I have set in motion thus far will be rendered useless."

Esther thought for a moment. "Then we must make sure that Mrs. Campion soon becomes acquainted with the real reason behind these shopping excursions. I cannot imagine that Mr. Parker himself will remain in ignorance long, but neither do I think he will raise the subject with his intended. Susan, how would you feel about hosting a dinner party?"

"A dinner party?" Lady Susan repeated. "I am not in the habit of throwing dinner parties in general, but I think I could be persuaded. Do go on."

"It is well known that you do not host many dinners, so therefore it is a foregone conclusion that Mrs. Campion would accept. Mr. Parker would, of course, be included in the invitation."

"And once gathered together, bringing up the subject of Miss Alison's engagement is easily accomplished. Lady Babington, you are a treasure." Lady Susan immediately began envisioning how this dinner might take shape, and soon had a thought of her own. "We must add more guests, of course. I take it as a given that Lord Babington and you will join us, but I think I ought to invite Lord Hampton and some of the other guests from his country party."

"That is an inspired notion. It will seem most natural for Mrs. Campion and Mr. Parker to be here, if it is a gathering of friends who have previously been thrown together. The only addition would be Miss Heywood, as your companion and guest," Esther replied.

"I am delighted that you agree. The last remaining question, I think, is when to have this dinner. Charlotte will not receive instructions from her mother regarding warehouses and wedding clothes before Saturday next, I would imagine, so we will not begin our shopping before then."

"If that is the case, then I would suggest Wednesday fortnight. I will vouch that Lord Babington and I will be available. And, you know," Esther continued, "I am suddenly developing the most overwhelming interest in joining those shopping trips, and offering Charlotte my opinions on fabrics as well."

"I am certain that your presence would be most welcome," Lady Susan responded, her eyes twinkling with the delight of finding another lady whose understanding of how to set the cogs in motion rivaled her own. "Now, let us set that guest list, so that invitations might be sent round as soon as possible." Lady Susan rang for tea, as the two ladies quickly got to work, completely in accord with one another.

* * *

"Miss Heywood! Miss Lambe!" Charlotte and Georgiana turned, upon hearing themselves being hailed, and saw Mr. Tom Parker waving to get their attention. The fineness of the day had tempted to two girls out of doors, and they had been walking in the park for the past hour. Charlotte smiled and waved back at Mr. Tom, as he led Mary over to where the bench where they had only recently sat down.

"Well met, ladies!" Tom greeted them heartily. "I see you had the same idea we had, to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. Though I am sure we can all agree that the finest London afternoon cannot hold a candle to a day in Sanditon. Do you not miss our ocean breezes, Charlotte?"

"Indeed, I do," Charlotte replied, smiling fondly at him. "But not everyone can be so fortunate as to enjoy Sanditon's weather every day. If we all lived there, then there would be no one to come visit and rent the Terrace once the rebuilding is complete."

"Well said, well said, my dear! And I have no doubt that next summer the Terrace will be full to bursting." Tom went on for a few moments more about his hopes for the following season, with Georgiana chiming in to share some of her thoughts on the rebuilding. How much could change in few short months! Charlotte could not help but reflect on how different it felt to have Georgiana be the one with opinions on Sanditon's development, while she stood quietly and listened. Her mind was too full of Alison, and of herself, to leave much room for Sanditon.

"Charlotte, you are so quiet," Mary remarked softly, unheard by either Tom or Georgiana. "Are you unwell?"

"I am perfectly well, thank you, Mary," Charlotte replied, bringing herself back to the present. "My mind was simply wandering. Forgive me."

"Of course, dear. Is there anything in particular on your mind?" Mary was unwilling to directly bring up the subject of her brother-in-law, but she was equally unwilling to return to Sanditon two days hence without a better understanding of where matters stood between Sidney and Charlotte. The attachment between them had been quite evident at the ball.

"As a matter of fact, I have some news from Willingden which I think you will be pleased to learn. My sister Alison is recently engaged."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mary exclaimed. "Are you acquainted with the gentleman?"

"A little. Mr. Taylor is but recently come to Willingden, as the curate of the parish, and has only been in the neighborhood some four or five months. He is a very agreeable, gentlemanlike man, and I think he is a good match for my sister."

"And your parents? Are they pleased with her match?"

"Very much so. My father has always spoken very well of Mr. Taylor, and his being the curate of our parish means that Alison will not be moving too far from Mamma."

"When is the wedding to take place? Will you be leaving London soon, then, to return home?" she asked.

"I am not sure," Charlotte answered. "I do not think my plans will change much. I have agreed to shop for Alison's wedding clothes while I am here, and I imagine they will not be ready for several weeks. Nor do I know whether they have the means to marry quickly. I am sure that the next letter from my family will give more information on when the wedding is to take place."

"Wedding?" Tom asked, distracted from his discussion with Georgiana on the merits of building a seaside tea room, which Georgiana was doing her utmost to dissuade. "Charlotte, surely you are not to be wed?" His incredulous tone brought instant colour to Charlotte's cheeks, and she was unable to answer. Mary swiftly informed Tom of Miss Alison's recent engagement, and he sheepishly offered his congratulations. "Capital news, Charlotte, dear. I knew you must have been speaking of someone else. That is to say, surely matters could not yet be resolved between you and…well, you know, these things can take time and…" He trailed off, uncomfortably aware that all three women were staring at him with different expressions, ranging from discomfort to disbelief.

"Mary, do I understand correctly that you will be returning to Sanditon later this week?" Georgiana broke the uncomfortable silence first with the first topic that came to mind.

"Yes," Mary responded with alacrity, "we leave on Friday. I do not like being away from the children for more than two weeks or so. Especially baby James. I always feel that they grow and change so much while I am gone, and then I regret that I have missed seeing it happen."

"I know what you mean," Charlotte forced herself to join, lest the Parkers or Georgiana think her too much affected by Tom's bumbling words. "I was gone for only a few months this past summer, and I feel as if my youngest siblings had changed so much! Little Katherine had started to read, Charles had begun riding a pony…so many moments that I missed. I wonder what I will find when I return next month!"

The conversation continued in much the same vein for several more minutes, before Tom recollected that his sister was expecting them to pick up a package of herbs for some new concoction before they returned to Bedford Place for tea. As they were unlikely to see each other before the Parkers left town, Tom and Mary said their goodbyes to Charlotte. Tom bowed deeply, expressing his wish of seeing Charlotte in Sanditon again in the summer, while Mary embraced her and made her renew her promise to write. Mary took her leave of her young friend, hoping against hope that she might still some day call her 'sister'.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: In true JA fashion, I've jumped ahead a few weeks. It's now around December 1, 1819. Happy reading!!

**London**

By the time of Lady Worcester's dinner party, Eliza was not much closer to knowing which course she should take to best secure her own happiness. For more than ten years, she had held on to Sidney Parker as her standard of male perfection, and her marriage to Mr. Campion had done nothing to alter that. While greatly enjoying the many advantages of Mr. Campion's wealth, carriages, servants, and estates- which included his hothouses, his orchards, his gardens and his wine cellars- she had always retained the awareness that she had married a man less amiable than the one she had given up. This is not to say that Eliza regretted her choice, for she believed it a sacred duty for a young woman to do the best she can for herself in selecting a marriage partner, but rather that she had always looked forward to the day when she might be able to obtain her first choice while still reaping the rewards of her second. This had always been her object, and though a few months back she had believed herself rather secure in it, she had found herself less certain of this plan the longer she spent time in company with the gentleman himself.

Sidney Parker was undeniably one of the handsomest men she had ever met, and, as is true of many men at his time of life, even more handsome now than in his youth. To her dismay, she also found him more intractable, more determined and less susceptible to her influence than she had anticipated. The methods that had proven successful in managing a husband more than twenty years her senior had proven ineffectual with a man her own age. A man, moreover, who was quite accustomed to having his own way and had very decided views on how he wished to conduct his life. She had no interest in fitting herself into his world- to return to Sanditon time and again, to take tea in Bedford Place twice weekly with his ridiculous sister and brother! Worse yet, to be forced to chaperone his impertinent little ward! No, it would be quite insupportable. In all her pretty imaginings of her life as Mrs. Sidney Parker, Eliza had formed a picture of him fitting himself into the world she now inhabited. They would travel to the Continent, perhaps, and return to be the most fashionable, well-looking pair in society. They would live in Campion House in London during the winter months, and host parties at her country estates in the summer. Between her wealth, and their combined good looks, she would soon be one of the most influential ladies in the _beau monde_. She had postponed the wedding not once, but twice, in the hopes that Sidney would come round and see the appeal of her vision for them, but these hopes had not materialized. And yet, to break the engagement was to invite gossip, and Eliza had been the author of far too much gossip herself to have any doubts as to wish to be its object.

Lord Hampton's revelation at Lady Babington's ball had not prompted the idea of perhaps _not_ marrying Sidney Parker, but it did present her with an alternative she had not previously considered. She had thought before that her options were to become Mrs. Sidney Parker, or to remain Mrs. Campion. The prospect of becoming Lady Hampton was an intriguing one, but Eliza was plagued by doubts about her compatibility with Lord Hampton in a way she had never bothered to wonder about with either Mr. Parker or, it must be said, Mr. Campion. As Lady Hampton , she knew, she would have the advantages of wealth and position, but Lord Hampton had been quite clear that this would not be a match based on love. And while affection _for_ her partner in life had never been one of Eliza's requirements, she had always assumed that she would be the recipient of marital affection. With a temper far better suited to be loved, rather than to love, Eliza did not much relish the notion of a husband who was mainly indifferent to her. She knew that Lord Hampton certainly _valued_ her- he valued her wealth, her youth, and how well she would look on his arm and at his table- but she had rather hoped to be adored. As unaccustomed as she was to serious self reflection, it entirely escaped her musings that she expected far more from Lord Hampton than she had been willing to give Sidney Parker.

Since that ball, she had the opportunity to partake of Lord Hampton's company during their agreed-upon ride, a walk in the park, and two afternoon calls at her home, all of which combined had allowed her to ascertain that he was an excellent rider, had a fine, upright figure while walking, and that he took no sugar in his tea. On the finer parts of his character, she remained less certain. In manners, he was greatly superior to Sidney. He had none of Sidney's moodiness, at least not that she would have had the opportunity to see, and was far wittier and more sophisticated a conversationalist. Lord Hampton could relate an anecdote with humour, understood the importance of staying current with the latest _on dits_ , and had a gift for innuendo. In looks, he was in no ways Sidney's equal, but he was a well-looking man, who dressed in the first stare of fashion. He was elegant, he was attentive, he was everything gentleman-like, but he was not warm. On the other hand, he did hold the advantage of not being suspected to be in love with anyone else.

As she had anticipated, Lord Hampton was not the only one of her acquaintance to either notice the connexion between Sidney and little Miss Heywood or to comment upon it. Eliza had already received several inquiries as to the precise degree of acquaintance between them, and imagined that she saw a good deal of speculation in the sharp little eyes of every lady who asked about them. She could only imagine what information they then spread amongst their other friends, but assumed that it was not to her benefit or advantage. She herself had seen no more of Sidney since the ball, than she had of Lord Hampton, but this did not bother her overmuch. Once married, she had no expectations, or desires, to be always in her husband's company. She supposed it not unlikely that his path had crossed Miss Heywood's since the ball, but she did not ask for nor did he volunteer any information on that score.

The worst of it, in Eliza's estimation, was that she could not seem to escape the mention of Miss Heywood's name from other quarters. What her general acquaintance saw to be so fascinating in that awkward country nobody, she could not see, but fascinated they undeniably were. Where Miss Heywood and Lady Worcester shopped, what Miss Heywood wore, who Miss Heywood spoke to or danced with- it seemed to Eliza that she could not escape her! One of her most particular friends had made a point of it the previous day to inform Eliza that Miss Heywood had been seen shopping, in the company of both Lady Worcester and Lady Babington, for items commonly purchased in advance of a wedding. This intimation that Miss Heywood might be engaged was perhaps the biggest conundrum that Eliza faced. If the girl were to be married, would that not force Sidney to give her up forever, which in turn might allow Eliza to regain some of his affections? If only she could be sure that Miss Heywood _was_ going to be wed, and that Sidney _would_ give her up! Without that assurance, she felt wholly incapable of making her choice. Eliza was entirely unwilling to have a husband suspected of pining away for another. She would not spend her days in constant comparison to some country miss, and being found wanting.

* * *

Charlotte looked at her reflection as Sally finished her hair for the evening, and did her best to quell her nerves. She had grown so accustomed to being out in society with Lady Susan, that her level of trepidation about this evening was both a surprise and a disappointment. She could help but acknowledge to herself that she would have been completely at ease, if only Mrs. Campion were not attending the dinner party. Even being near Mr. Parker was more comfortable, for she had been in his company three times since the ball, twice at his sister's for tea and once on an afternoon walk through the park with Georgiana. Despite the many subjects they could not discuss, they had found it unexpectedly comfortable to discuss and share their opinions on books, music, and the like. Charlotte now knew that they favoured the same philosophers, but that Sidney estimated poetry more highly than she. Charlotte had tried to convince him that historical plays were preferable to comedic ones, but he would not be persuaded, even after Charlotte had given her best re-enactment of King Richard III. Sidney had only commented that her performance of poor Richard was far better than the one of himself, and that he had lately come to identify much with Benedick.

Charlotte could not envision such companionable moments taking place during this evening's engagement. She would not feel easy approaching Sidney, and he could certainly make no effort to single her out. Any attempt at friendly conversation, even about Shakespeare, would undoubtedly expose Charlotte to Mrs. Campion's acerbic tongue. Charlotte felt that she would need to watch her every word with utmost care, and the thought alone was exhausting. Summoning her courage, she thanked Sally for her assistance, and ventured downstairs to join Lady Susan before the guests began to arrive.

To Charlotte's relief, Lord and Lady Babington were the first to arrive. Lady Babington had been quite helpful to Lady Susan in the planning and arranging of the party, which had initially surprised Charlotte, as she had been unaware that the two ladies were on such terms. It had been more fun than Charlotte would have expected, sitting with both Esther and Susan and planning the menu and décor. Susan's dinner was nowhere near as showy as Lady Denham's infamous pineapple luncheon, but far more elegant. Esther and Susan seemed to have a great similarity in taste, and both were so clever that Charlotte felt she had spent the entire afternoon with them laughing.

The other guests, some twenty in all, arrived in due time, and Charlotte was deep in conversation with Lord and Lady Babington when Sidney appeared with Mrs. Campion. Her back to the door, she did not see them enter the room, but was alerted by the swift glance that Lady Babington gave her husband. Charlotte immediately turned to see Mrs. Campion, her hand possessively on Sidney's arm, looking directly at her. Charlotte turned back to her friends, unsure of how to look or what to say. Lord Babington leaned in closer to her, and said in a barely audible whisper, "Do not let her alarm you, my dear Miss Heywood. You are undoubtedly her superior at cricket." He gave her a small wink, and straightened. Charlotte gave him a grateful smile, appreciative for the reminder that she was among friends. To her relief, Mrs. Campion directed Sidney towards another cluster of guests, away from where Charlotte herself was located.

It was not long after the arrival of the final guest that the entire company proceeded into the dining room. The gentleman seated to Charlotte's left engaged her in a light conversation about their preference for cold soups versus hot, and whether there was a noticeable difference in flavour between hothouse fruit versus field grown. As the next course was being served, Charlotte was surprised to hear herself addressed by Mrs. Campion, who was seated across from her and several seats further up the table.

"Miss Heywood, I understand that congratulations are on order," Mrs. Campion began, taking advantage of the bustle of the servants to address Charlotte. She had been watching Charlotte carefully thus far, and had quickly surmised that none of the gentleman present could possibly be her intended. There was no one gentleman paying her any particular attentions among the present company. "I take it that you have found a boy in your village after all?" Eliza was aware that Sidney had turned his head the moment she had uttered Miss Heywood's name, but he was seated too far from either to join the conversation.

Charlotte felt all the impertinence of the question, as well as Mrs. Campion's ill-breeding in raising such a personal topic from across the table, but she was determined to maintain her own composure. With a tone of forced calm, she replied, "Thank you, madam, but I believe you are misinformed."

"You are not to be married?" Mrs. Campion pressed, unwilling to drop the subject. "I have heard it said that you have been shopping for wedding clothes. Is that misinformation as well?"

"Your information is quite accurate, Mrs. Campion, but the object is mistaken. I have been shopping for my sister in Willingden, who is recently engaged."

From the corner of her eye, Eliza could see that Sidney was not surprised by this information, as she was. "Your sister?" she repeated.

"Yes, my sister Alison. She has accepted an offer from a respectable young man of good family from Yorkshire."

The gentleman on her left politely offered his felicitations, as well as an observation on the excellent farmland in Yorkshire. Charlotte quite willingly entered into a discussion on the merits of the different counties, and was relieved that Mrs. Campion dropped her part of the conversation. Mrs. Campion remained unusually quiet during the fish, but seemed to revive for the rest of the meal. Her dining partners certainly seemed to find her delightful, for there was much laughter heard from that part of the table.

Charlotte was rather in dread that Mrs. Campion would start in with a fresh attack once the ladies withdrew, but Mrs. Campion seemed inclined to avoid Charlotte's conversation, an arrangement which suited Charlotte perfectly. The only other unpleasantness took place after the gentleman had joined them. Charlotte was standing by a window, which had been opened slightly to allow for a hint of a breeze, and was addressed not long after by Lord Hampton, with whom she had little previous interaction.

"Tell me, Miss Heywood," he drawled, as though they were actually acquainted, "are the men of London meeting your expectations?"

"I beg your pardon, sir?" Charlotte asked, certain that she had misheard him. Even Lady Denham would not have asked such a question, nor said it with such insinuation.

"Come now, my dear. There is no need for such maidenly qualms. You are staying as the guest of the Prince Regent's favourite lady, so naturally one assumes that you have come to London to find a man of your own. I heard you say yourself that the talk of your marriage was mistaken."

"My lord, that is…you are..." Charlotte sputtered, unable to find the words to express her shock at his audacity. She took a deep breath. "You have utterly misjudged my nature, Lord Hampton. Either you are deliberately trying to insult me, or you have a most unwelcome sense of humour." She glared up at him, her face set in angry lines, trying to determine how much of a scene it would make if she walked away from him and left the room.

"Misjudged, have I?" he raised a brow, looking her over, finally settling on her face and the anger in her expression. "Perhaps I have. It is a shame, though. I like a bit of spirit in a woman. Forgive my...jest, shall we call it? It seems we do not share the same humour, as you say." He gave her the barest nod, and walked away. Charlotte remained where she was, her hands shaking with anger, trying not to burst into tears. She had never felt so insulted, not even when Sidney had shouted at her in the middle of the street in front of Trafalgar House. At least then she had been able to take a calming walk along the beach. Here, she was stuck in a room, forced to pretend that Lord Hampton had not uttered such dreadfully offensive words.

"What is it?" a low voice murmured behind her. She whirled around to see Sidney standing a few feet away.

"It is nothing," she said quickly, unwilling to tell him for fear of his reaction. She would not be responsible for him losing his temper in company, and she had no doubt that he would be beyond angry if he knew what Lord Hampton had insinuated.

"Forgive me for having the appearance of contradicting you," he replied, "but it is not nothing. I know your face better than my own, and I have certainly seen you angry with me enough times to recognize that you are angry now. What has upset you? Was it Lord Hampton?"

"I do not wish to repeat it," Charlotte answered, knowing that she must say something. "I do not like that man, that is all."

Sidney's eyes searched hers, and her own expression must have convinced him that he would get no further information from her at the moment. He resolved to keep a closer eye on Lord Hampton, though, so that he might not have the opportunity to discomfit Charlotte again this evening. "I do not care for him too much myself," he acknowledged. "Our tastes are remarkably similar."

"On some things, perhaps," Charlotte replied, her lips twitching in a small smile. "I have not yet convinced you to favour King Lear over his Fool."

"Nor shall you," Sidney insisted, and they entered into a spirited discussion of that particular play for several minutes, before recollecting that they must not monopolize each other for the whole of the evening. They parted amiably, Sidney returning to Mrs. Campion, and Charlotte sought out Lady Susan. The rest of the night passed with no further unpleasantness, and on the whole, Charlotte reflected when she went to bed, she had enjoyed herself far more than she had originally anticipated.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we are 2-3 chapters from the end. It seems hopeless, but fear not, dear readers!

**London**

"Parker, you are in a wretched state this evening," Crowe complained, leaning back in his chair and swirling his whiskey in his glass. "You have been all smiles for the past several weeks, and here you are now, more sulky than an unwanted mistress. What is the matter with you, man?"

Sidney looked up from his own glass, looking not at Crowe, but at Babington. The gentleman had met to dine at Lord Babington's club, and Sidney now wished he had earlier thought up a reason to cry off. Crowe's observation was not wrong- Sidney had been uncommonly cheerful of late, which he entirely attributed to his moments with Charlotte. Knowing that she was near, and having the ever-present hope of yet another conversation, another opportunity to be in her company- it had buoyed his spirits over the past weeks. As this final week drew to a close, however, he found himself losing his hope that all would turn out well, and could help but reflect on Charlotte's own prediction that this could not work out happily for either of them. He was no closer to a plan of release from Eliza, and Charlotte was to return to Willingden this coming Saturday.

Babington met his gaze, sadly aware of what his friend was thinking. Both he and Esther had tried to think of how they might help resolve this conundrum before Charlotte left town, but no alternatives had presented themselves. Esther had said her farewell to Charlotte only the day before, and had reported to her husband that Charlotte had visibly fought to rally her spirits so as not to appear melancholy. The most frustrating part, as Esther had said, was that all of their plans seemed to be working rather well. They had merely run out of time. "Have you given up hope, then?" he asked Sidney.

"Must I not?" Sidney replied, his voice low. "I can think of only two options, and they neither of them are actionable."

"Two options?" Babington repeated. "I have not been able to think of any worth mentioning. You were always more clever than I, Sidney."

"I did not claim they were worth mentioning," Sidney responded, shaking his head. "You would not think me so clever if you knew the options I had thought up. You would find better in any circulating novel."

"What have you been plotting, to run off with the girl?" Crowe suggested with a laugh, cluing in to what they were discussing.

"The thought had crossed my mind," Sidney acknowledged, with a mirthless smile. "You do not need to try to talk me out of it. Charlotte is far too sensible to agree, and I could not bring myself to expose her to such censure. That leaves only the one other possibility, and it is hardly more palatable."

"Surely you cannot mean to speak openly with Eliza?" Babington's tone expressed his disbelief.

"I am considering it," Sidney acknowledged. "It is quite evident that she has no love for me. Whatever her reasons for holding me to this engagement, perhaps she would be willing to release me from my obligation if I were to be frank with her."

"Good God, man! You cannot possibly be serious," Crowe interjected, sitting up straight. "After all these months, you are going to try throwing yourself on Mrs. Campion's sense of mercy? She will eat you alive, mark my words. You will find yourself in the midst of a breach of promise suit, and a scandal to boot."

Sidney looked to Babington for confirmation. Lord Babington nodded slowly. "I fear Crowe is right, I am sorry to say. Surely she must be aware that you are thoroughly weary of this engagement, but she has not released you thus far. Why should she do so now? No, Sidney, you cannot attempt it. If she refuses, your marriage will be even less amicable. And if she agrees, you will dishonour yourself, and shame Miss Heywood in the process. Could you really offer yourself to her with such a stain on your name?"

Sidney appeared to deflate in front of them. They said nothing that he had not already told himself, but hearing their confirmation seemed to rob him of his very last hope. "Where does this leave me?" he asked. "I cannot make myself forget Charlotte. I cannot even bring myself to see her to say goodbye. You tell me that I cannot ask Eliza to release me, but I cannot give Charlotte up. What am I to do?"

"You will not like my answer, but I advise you to wait," Crowe replied, his voice lacking its usual satirical edge. "Your Miss Heywood may have only a few days left in London, but you have a month until your nuptials. There is still time for Mrs. Campion to decide that you are not worth having."

"Surprising as this may be, I actually agree with Crowe," Lord Babington replied. "Willingden is hardly the end of the world. You can always write to her there, should your circumstances change." He did not mention that Lady Babington was quite certain that Mrs. Campion was having second thoughts already, nor that she had been seen much of late in the company of a certain lord. He did not want to give Sidney false hope, as his circumstances were looking rather grimmer than they had eve a week ago.

"That is all?" Sidney said. "Wait, and hope that the lady throws me over once again? Send Charlotte back home and pretend that she does not take my heart with her?" He tossed back the contents of his drink, and signaled for another. "If that it my only recourse, gentlemen, then I anticipate that I will need a lot more to drink."

The next several hours passed in a blur, and Sidney eventually bid his friends farewell and made his solitary way back to Bedford Place. Once in his room, he readied for sleep, but did not go to bed. Instead, he sat at his writing table, took out a pen and sheet a paper, and began to write. Only when he had finished, sanded and sealed his note did he attempt to sleep. When he finally awoke, late the next morning, he saw the note lying on the table and argued with himself whether or not to deliver it. Heart winning over head, he rose for the day. Within an hour, he was knocking on the door of Number 4 Robert Street, the note tucked inside his coat pocket.

"Sidney!" Georgiana exclaimed, entering the parlour where the footman had shown him. "I was not expecting you today. Is…is something the matter?" Georgiana looked Sidney over with her concern apparent, for despite his neat and fashionable attire, he nonetheless appeared drawn and haggard.

"I look that bad, do I?" Sidney's attempt at humour did not cause Georgiana to smile. She continued to look at him steadily, her gaze demanding his truthful response. "I am in good health, Georgiana, I assure you. I did not rest well last night, that is all."

"Is it?" Georgiana asked softly. They had not spoken openly of Charlotte since their argument so many weeks ago, but Georgiana was fully capable of forming opinions of what was right in front of her. The past month had offered several opportunities to be with both Charlotte and Sidney together, and their mutual attachment was so evident that she was ashamed to have ever doubted her guardian or discouraged her friend. She was expecting Charlotte later that afternoon, for their final visit before Charlotte left town, and it did not seem unreasonable to think that Sidney's changed demeanor might be attributed to her impending departure. "I would not think less of you, Sidney, if there were a reason why you could not rest."

Sidney walked to the window, and did not respond for a moment. With his back still to Georgiana, he softly said "It does no good to speak of it, Georgiana, but you have my thanks nonetheless. Perhaps in time, we shall be able to speak of her together, but I…I cannot yet." He fell silent again, and Georgiana was at a loss as to what to say. It was unlike Sidney to call so unexpectedly, but she could not fathom his reason. Why come, only to stand by the window, uncommunicative? He seemed in need of comfort, but unwilling to accept it.

"Sidney, will you sit?" she finally asked.

"No, thank you. I will not stay. I came in mind to ask a favour, Georgiana, but now I am not convinced that I shall."

"A favour of me?" Georgiana asked, mystified. "Sidney, you have never asked for my assistance with any thing before. I hope you do not hesitate out of any fear that I would be unwilling?"

"I have no doubts of you, only whether I ought to involve you in any way. Forgive my odd behaviour today, Georgiana. I think it would be best to forget I said anything," Sidney said finally turning around, and beginning to walk towards the door.

"You have hardly said anything at all! Sidney, wait!" Georgiana called, and walking towards him when he paused to turn back to her. "Will you pay me the compliment of allowing me to make my own decision? Tell me the favour, and I will tell you if I am comfortable agreeing to perform it."

"It was a foolish, desperate notion," Sidney confessed, drawing the note from his coat. "I wrote this letter…for Miss Heywood. I know she is to leave town in a matter of days, and I do not think I can bring myself to say farewell in person. It seems I am something of a coward, Georgiana, but I cannot face her. I do not have permission, nor the right, to write to her. And yet, I cannot let her leave without a word. I was going to ask you if you would hand it to her for me, but I have thought the better of it."

"Then you will see her yourself? She will be here later this afternoon. Will you return to bid her farewell?"

"No."

"You will allow her to leave without any acknowledgment at all? Sidney, she deserves better than that. You deserve better than that. Give me the letter, and I shall see she gets it."

"Georgianna…."

"Sidney…" she repeated, mimicking his exasperated tone. "I insist. I will hardly turn away from you, the first time you ask for my help. And I am not thinking only of you, but of Charlotte. Give me that letter." Sidney handed it to her, his expression bemused. It was a strange turn of events, having his recalcitrant ward giving the orders and deciding what was in his best interests, rather than the other way around.

"It is still not too late, you know," Georgiana said, her voice softer now that she held the letter in her hand. "Charlotte may be leaving, but you are not yet wed. You must not lose hope just yet."

Sidney gave a small, bitter laugh that hurt her heart to hear. "You are not the first to tell me this," he said, "and yet no one can tell me what exactly it is I am supposed to hold on to. Forgive me if I cannot be so sanguine at the moment." He bowed to Georgiana, thanked her again, and left.

Georgiana watched him through the window, and then sat down, looking at the small envelope in her hand. Her heart bled for him, though only a few months ago she would never have believed him to be so deserving of compassion. Her growing awareness of her own mind had given rise to a new understanding of how childish her infatuation with Mr. Molyneux had been, but she recalled the pain of believing him lost to her and imagined that both Charlotte and Sidney were suffering at least as much. Charlotte, she believed, might rally again and be happy with another, after a suitable period of time had passed, but for Sidney she could envision no such outcome. His marriage- without affection for his wife, longing for another- would be precisely the slavery that Charlotte herself described at that horrid pineapple luncheon so many months ago.

The sound of a knock interrupted Georgiana's unhappy musings, and she was surprised to find how much time had passed since Sidney had left. Charlotte was shown into the parlour, and Georgiana rang for tea immediately after greeting her. The two girls spoke for some time on various other subjects before Georgiana felt brave enough to discharge the office she had promised. "Charlotte," she said, surprisingly nervous and unwilling to upset her friend, "do you remember how you helped send letters between Otis and myself?"

Charlotte was surprised at the mention of Mr. Molyneux, and the introduction of a subject so unconnected to anything they had previously been discussing. "Certainly," she replied, "though I am still ashamed of the part I played in bringing about your terrible ordeal. Why ever do you mention it, Georgiana?"

"I find myself in your shoes," she replied, pulling out the letter and holding it in her lap. "I have been asked to give this to you. I hope you will not blame me for agreeing to do so." She handed the letter to Charlotte, fearful of her friend's reaction. After witnessing Sidney's distress, she did not think she could bear to witness Charlotte's as well.

Charlotte said nothing, as she looked at the envelope. She did not need to ask who it was from. She set it to one side, looking away from Georgiana for a moment as she fought to compose herself. "I do not blame you," she said, her voice quiet, but steady. "It was the office of a friend. Thank you."

"You are sure you are not angry with me?"

"I am not angry, with you or anyone else," she asserted. "You have my word." Charlotte then deliberately turned the conversation to a lighter topic, and neither one of them mentioned either the letter or anyone named Parker for the remainder of the afternoon. They parted on the best of terms, Georgiana pressing Charlotte to come visit her in London as soon as her parents would permit her to return, and Charlotte insisting that Georgiana write often.

Charlotte managed to wait until she was alone in her room on Charles Street before finally opening her letter, her fingers shaking slightly as she released the seal. Her thoughts were too jumbled to form any expectation of what it would contain, but she knew it best that she have privacy whilst she read it. As her eyes devoured his words, she sat down on her bed. When she finished reading it through, she could hardly see through her tears, and she curled up on her bed, sobbing silently.

_My dearest Charlotte,_

_Forgive me for the liberty I take in demanding your attention. I know your sense of propriety will tell you that it is wrong for me to write to you, but my feelings tell me that it is wrong to remain silent. There is much that you will not permit me to say to you out loud, so I must reach you by whatever means are within my reach. Be not alarmed that I will make you promises or try to persuade you to a course of action that it beneath the very great esteem in which I hold you. You once told me that if I were at liberty, you will listen. I know I cannot make any promises at this time, no matter how much I wish to. I cannot offer you the heart that is more yours than it was this past summer. I will only tell you that you have made me a better man, and that I will strive to be worthy of your good opinion. You are my model of perfection._

_You deserve a proper parting, I know that. Please forgive me for being too cowardly to see you off. I do not trust myself not to betray more feeling than is proper. I have tried to honour your wishes these past weeks, and our conversations have been a gift that I will forever treasure. Do not fear that I will forget you, my Charlotte. Know that I wish you every happiness, and that you have my eternal friendship. If there is ever anything you need, anything in my power to give, you have only to ask. I remain, forever,_

_Yours,_

_SP_


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long, but I had to leave you all with a little more hope than I did last time. Our story is almost done- probably only one or two more chapters to go. Enjoy!

**Willingden**

The fire crackled pleasantly in the hearth and cast a warm glow in the room where Charlotte sat, pen in hand, looking over the household accounts which her mother had asked her to review. The afternoon sun was setting, and the light in the room was dim, even with the candle burned next to her. Charlotte knew she would need to stop her work soon, lest she strain her eyes, and so she finished the column she was working on, marked her progress, and closed the account book. The house was surprisingly quiet, no small feat in a family as large as hers, and for a moment Charlotte was confused, trying to remember where everyone might be. A shout from outside drew her to the window, and she went to look at what caused the sound. She smiled broadly as soon as she reached the window, upon observing her brother William directing a snow castle competition in the yard for the younger ones. She watched them for several moments, deriving simple pleasure from watching their happy play, and also enjoying a moment of peaceful silence.

In the two weeks since Charlotte had left London, she had attempted to cure heartbreak through industry and application. She had been determined that none but Alison should know, or even suspect, that she was suffering the pangs of disappointed love, and to give her parents no cause to regret having agreed to her stay with Lady Susan. She discussed the tenants with her father, accompanied her mother on charitable visits, paid calls to neighbours she had not seen in months, read to improve her mind, practised her needlework, played with her younger siblings- who had been given a break from the schoolroom for a few days to enjoy the holiday season- and assisted her mother in the seemingly endless tasks involved in preparing for that most festive of holidays. She had been surprised when her mother had offered to teach her how to maintain the household expenses and her own system of accounting them, but had readily agreed to take on this new project as well. She went to bed each night tired and satisfied with her exertions, and if she occasionally had moments of dejected reflections, she took care to conceal them. In all, Charlotte kept herself busy, gave a good appearance of cheerful spirits, and was quietly unhappy. Her consolation was that her pain was known only to that one person, her dearest sister, who could be counted upon to protect her confidence.

With Alison, there could be no reserve. She had allowed Charlotte only one night at home before pressing her for the truth of her encounters with Mr. Parker in London, and Charlotte found herself unable to dissemble. During her journey home, Charlotte had debated with herself whether it would be better to conceal, even from Alison, the letter which he had sent to her or how deeply she was affected by it, and she had made up her mind to try, but her resolve could not withstand Alison’s compassionate inquiries and gentle understanding.

“But Charlotte,” she had protested, after hearing Charlotte’s careful narration of her final week in town, “what of Mr. Parker? On what terms did you part?”

“We did not attempt a meeting, Alison,” Charlotte had responded. “Neither of us wished it.”

“I do not understand you. You did not wish the chance to say goodbye? You cannot be truly comfortable without some sort of parting from him, I think.”

“There was never much of _comfort_ to be found in the situation at all,” was the answer Charlotte gave. “He is engaged to be married, Alison. What sort of parting could we have had?” She had tried to turn the conversation, but Alison had been persistent.

“No, I cannot accept it,” Alison had shaken her head, and repeated her disbelief a few times. “He rode after you at Sanditon to say a private farewell, and I cannot believe he would let you leave London without finding a way this time as well.”

Charlotte could not pretend any longer. She acknowledged to her sister that Mr. Parker had, in fact, found a way to say farewell, but that she had been loathe to mention it. “It was not proper of him to write me,” she had explained, “and he knew it. I know I ought to blame him for it, and I daresay you will tell me that I ought not have kept his letter, but I cannot bring myself to part with it just yet. I think that, once I learn that he is married, I shall burn it. It will be wrong to have it in my possession after that.” Alison had expressed her astonishment that Mr. Parker, who had been so careful to remain within the bounds of propriety, should have been so bold as to write to her sister, but could not censure him after reading the letter itself. The pain evident in its writing, and the sorrow in her sister’s eyes, prevented any remonstrances she might have given. Charlotte, for her own part, felt much relieved in sharing the letter with her sister, despite the initial embarrassment of allowing another to read such an exceedingly personal missive. She was able to feel lighter, no longer carrying by herself the weight of both Sidney’s regret and her own. The letter was not discussed between them again. Alison found small ways to show Charlotte the care and attention she needed, which none of the rest of the family would have known to give, and took no offense if Charlotte occasionally fell silent for long stretches of their walks together.

“Charlotte, dear, have you finished with the accounts?” Mrs. Heywood entered the room, drawing Charlotte out of her reverie. “It is growing quite dark in here.”

“Yes, Mamma, I have just marked my place. I will continue in the morning, if you wish,” Charlotte replied, moving back to the desk, to retrieve the book and return it to her mother’s keeping.

“My, how industrious you have grown! I must say that you seem a very different young woman than the one who left us,” Mrs. Heywood commented, eyeing her daughter closely.

“I was not gone for _that_ long, Mamma. It was only six weeks, hardly long enough to create any great changes in my character,” Charlotte laughed.

“Oh, I think you were gone far longer than that,” Mrs. Heywood remarked, her tone light while her eyes conveyed a great deal of meaning. “You have not truly been home since Mr. and Mrs. Parker took you off to Sanditon with them. I confess, I was more than a little concerned that your visit to London would take you away from us entirely, even if you returned to Willingden at the end.”

“I do not understand you, Mamma.” Charlotte was beginning to feel a bit uneasy, afraid that she _did_ understand her mother, and that Mrs. Heywood was more perceptive than her daughter had given her the credit of being.

“Oh, my Charlotte,” Mrs. Heywood sighed, taking her daughter’s hand and leading her to the sofa near the fire. “You cannot deceive me by such tireless occupation around the house. I am quite glad of your help, and would rather see you industrious than idle and despondent, but do not think you have fooled me the way you may have your father. Do you think me unable to recognize when my own child is suffering? We are far too much alike me, you and I.”

“I…I did not wish to cause you any pain or worry, Mamma. I have not been trying to deceive anyone,” Charlotte managed to say. “Please tell me you are not angry with me.”

“Of course I am not angry, child, but neither do I want you wearing yourself out trying to shoulder a burden alone. I had hoped you would have come to me, but I would be a poor mother if I allowed you to pretend for much longer that nothing was troubling you. Tell me what is the matter, Charlotte. I am sure it will do you good to speak of it.”

“I am not so sure it will, Mamma. It is not a problem that can be solved by you, or me, or anyone. I have been trying to grow resigned to that truth, and it is easier to do so if I do not speak of it too often.”

“I have come across very few problems that cannot be solved. What makes you so certain this is one of them?”

“Perhaps there is a solution, but I am in no position to bring it about. What good does it do to dwell on impossibilities? Is it not better to teach myself to forget, and to throw myself into what makes me happy- being helpful to my family, and doing good for others?”

“You are making me rather more curious than less. Speak plainly with me- what impossibilities are you trying to forget? I am beginning to think that there is a gentleman involved.”

“Oh, Mamma!” Charlotte cried, blushing that she was so transparent.

“My girl, I am hardly so old a lady that I have lost the use of my faculties. When a young woman leaves home for the first time, and returns discontent and speaking of ‘impossibilities’, it is only the most logical explanation. You may not be mooning about the house, in the fashion of the silly girls one reads about in novels, but neither have you been yourself. Who is the gentleman, pray? Is he someone your father would not approve?”

Charlotte did her best to convey to Mrs. Heywood the facts of her involvement with Mr. Parker in such a way as to prevent her mother from judging the gentleman too harshly. It was a matter of importance to her that her mother not think too badly of him, and be able to recognize his many admirable qualities. She took pains to describe his engagement to Mrs. Campion in the best possible light, and to reassure her mother that Mr. Parker had broken no promise to herself. She did not attempt to conceal her attachment to him, or the evidence that he was equally attached to her. The only part she did conceal was the letter, as there are some details that she could not bring herself to share with her mother, even as kind and sensible a mother as Mrs. Heywood. At the end of her recital, she was surprised to see a glimmer of tears in her mother’s eyes.

“I am very sorry for you, my dear,” her mother finally said, when Charlotte had left off talking. “It sounds as though he would have been an excellent match for you, and it is hard that his family circumstances should have robbed you both of the chance to be happy together. I am sure that it is small consolation to you that he has behaved as a man of honour, and seems worthy of your esteem.”

“And have you no words of wisdom for me, Mamma? No advice for how to put thoughts of him aside, and be content?”

Mrs. Heywood gave a small sigh, and shook her head, giving her daughter a rueful smile. “As I said before, we are far too much alike, my dearest. You have already chosen the very same course that I would have advised- to keep your mind and body occupied, and find contentment in the simpler pleasures of being useful and productive. It will take time, as you know, but I think you have not the temperament to be inconsolable for the rest of your life. I do not despair of seeing you find your happiness again someday, even if that happiness takes a different form.” Charlotte pressed her mother’s hand, grateful for the kind words and the soft hope that her current pain would fade. If she had secretly longed for her mother to give her hope of a different kind, she did not show it. 

The sounds of boots stomping, and happy laughter, gave the ladies warning that the architects of the snow castles had completed their creations and were coming inside to warm themselves by the fire and change into drier clothes. Mrs. Heywood and Charlotte went to see that hot drinks would be readied, and to give the signal that supper should be in an hour.

* * *

**London**

The winter sunlight shone palely through the parlour windows of Number 7 Bedford Place, adding little light and less warmth to the room. It was a cold sort of day, the kind which Mr. Arthur Parker deemed perfect for sitting by the fire, a cordial in one hand and toasting fork in the other. As it was Thursday, Miss Lambe had joined Miss Parker and her brothers for tea, and Mr. Arthur had made it his responsibility to keep the company well supplied in perfectly toasted bread. Miss Lambe commended his skills with the toasting fork, but Miss Parker would have been more content if she had seen her other brother attempt to eat any of said toast.

It had been above two weeks since Miss Heywood had left London, and Miss Parker was anxiously watching Sidney for some indication as to how he was managing in the wake of her absence. Sidney was well aware of her scrutiny, as well as his ward’s, but could not resent it. Diana, in particular, had reason to be concerned, having the memory of Sidney’s response to Eliza’s defection ten years ago. For the first few days after Charlotte had gone, Sidney had contemplated repeating his own history, and had, in truth, sought the solace of a bottle or two. It was the memory of Charlotte herself which prevented him from continuing down that path, and the awareness of the promise he had written to strive to be worthy of her good opinion. He had therefore forced himself into some semblance of exertion, devoting his time in London to his business affairs and spending the Christmas holidays in Sanditon, bringing Georgiana with him. Neither the Parkers nor Georgiana dared broach the subjects of Charlotte, nor the wedding. The absence of any mention of Miss Heywood at Trafalgar Place had perhaps been more awkward than uttering her name would have been, but none were brave enough to attempt it. There had been a strange tension in the house whenever Sidney was present, and Sidney had felt sorry for throwing such a gloom upon the holidays. The innocent joy of the children, and his honest pleasure in doting upon them, was all the solace he could expect. His return to London had been an unfortunate necessity, but the time of his wedding grew nearer and he could not justify remaining away. 

Georgiana carried on a conversation with Diana and Arthur, trying her best to include Sidney, but to no avail. He knew he was bringing pain to his family, but he could not force himself to appear content today. He sat, staring into the cup in his hand, and seemed mostly insensible of the conversation taking place around him. His thoughts were absorbed in thinking on his last encounter with Eliza, only the day before, during which she had been happily describing the final preparations for their wedding day. He had tried his best not to allow her to see his own suffering, unwilling to embarrass or shame her with the knowledge that his heart belonged irrevocably to another, and it had taken all of his mental fortitude to meet her with any semblance of interest in a discussion on their impending nuptials. A knock at the door, and the entrance of a footman, went unnoticed by Sidney, until he heard his name spoken.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but a letter has just come for Mr. Parker,” the footman said, handing a small envelope to Sidney, and then bowing his way out of the room. Sidney recognized the hand to be Eliza’s, and opened the letter without much curiosity. As he read, however, his countenance changed visibly, and the conversation around him drew to a halt.

“Sidney?” he heard his sister ask, “Whatever is it? You have gone white as a sheet!” As Diana began to bustle and fuss to diagnose whatever sudden malady had struck him, Georgiana moved closer to Sidney to quietly inquire whether the letter brought bad news. Sidney raised his eyes to her, and she was rendered silent by the confusion she saw in his face.

“I hardly know how to answer, Georgiana,” he finally said. “I think this may be the strangest, and most wonderful, letter I have ever received.”

“What does it say?” Arthur asked, so curious that he actually stood and left his place by the fire to go over to his brother. “Who is it from?”

“Eliza,” Sidney replied simply, and handed the letter to his younger brother. “Read it aloud, Arthur. I hardly know what to make of it myself. Perhaps if I hear you read it, I will no longer think it the product of my own imagination.” Arthur took the letter, and began to read.

_Sidney,_

_Having become increasingly convinced that I have lost your affections, and being far from certain that they were ever actually mine, I have felt at liberty to form an alliance more likely to contribute to my own happiness. I wish to release you from our engagement, and am sure you will agree that we no longer suit one another. Lord Hampton and I shall be married by special license this month. You are, of course, welcome to attend our wedding, although I will understand if you decide that you would rather not. I have no doubt that you will find your own happiness elsewhere._

_Sincerely,_

_Mrs. Eliza Campion_

The cries of astonishment from everyone in the room mirrored Sidney’s own feelings. He was, at first, too surprised to feel any sense of relief or joy. To be suddenly released, with no warning or foreknowledge that Eliza had been forming such a relationship during their engagement! He had known that Lord Hampton paid Eliza more attentions than was typical, and that she had not seemed to mind, but that Lord Hampton had the audacity to propose to an engaged woman- and that she should accept him! It was quite unbelievable, and it took many minutes of reading and rereading the letter with his family in order to make heads or tails of it. Sidney suddenly gave a laugh, and turned to his brother. “Arthur,” he cried, “I should have listened to you more closely. It was you who said that I should not trust her again, and it seems you understood her nature better than anyone!” After another laugh, Sidney announced his intention of leaving London at once. Georgiana and Arthur began to protest immediately, although for very different reasons.

“Sidney, you are not thinking rationally,” Georgiana began, but was interrupted by Arthur’s anxious inquiry of “Where are you going, Sidney? You are not leaving England again because of that woman?”

“What? No, Arthur, I have no intention of leaving England any time soon. Why would I?” Sidney asked, bewildered.

“You…you are not upset?” Arthur asked, equally confused. “You are not angry with her?”

“Angry?” Sidney shook his head, unable to keep the broad smile off his face. “I have never liked her better than I do at this moment!”

“Then why must you leave so suddenly? Where is it that you must go?” Arthur persisted, trying to understand his brother’s strange mood.

“I believe, Arthur, that Sidney means to go to Willingden,” Miss Parker supplied. “Oh, I need to sit down. This is too much excitement for tea time, I dare say!” Arthur turned towards his sister, still confused, and mouthed the word ‘Willingden’ to himself once or twice. Finally, the meaning of her words penetrated, and he turned to Sidney with a beaming smile of his own. Even Arthur, as unobservant as he generally was about matters of love and marriage, had seen that his brother and Miss Heywood went as well together as tea and scones.

Sidney smiled back, agreed with his sister’s surmise of the situation, and began to take his leave. Georgiana repeated her protests. “Sidney, wait! You cannot go like this!”

“Why ever not, Georgiana? Surely you would not have me delay any further? Have we not been kept apart long enough?”

“Sidney, it is three o’clock in the afternoon in January. You are not being reasonable,” she explained patiently. “If you leave now, you will be riding for hours, in the dark. You will arrive at her father’s home, unannounced, at a late hour, cold and dishevelled, with no clothes for the next day. I would not be surprised if he was inclined to refuse your suit, on the grounds that you appear to be a madman.” Sidney reluctantly acknowledged the truth of Georgiana’s words, but she was not finished. “One night more will scarce make a difference. Besides, I think you must first acknowledge Mrs. Campion’s letter and agree to dissolve the engagement before you go haring off to form another.”

With a small sigh, Sidney agreed that Georgiana’s advice was sound. He briefly toyed with responding to Eliza’s note with one of his own, but soon decided that the more proper course would be to call upon her and confirm his release in person. Giving instructions to his valet to pack for short trip and to the groom to have the coach readied for an early hour the following morning, he soon took his leave to pay a final call at Campion House.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Willingden**

The bright sunshine tempted Charlotte out of doors, although it really was too chilly a morning to sit in the garden with a book, as she had originally intended. Charlotte decided to take a few turns about the garden instead, enjoying the sensation of the light frost crunching beneath her boots as she walked. Her cheeks turned rosy from the air, and she was debating with herself whether or not to return indoors when Alison came running into the garden.

“Charlotte, he is come! He is come!” she exclaimed, her eyes bright with excitement.

“Who has come?” Charlotte asked, turning to her sister in surprise. For sure, it was early in the day for Mr. Taylor to call, nor did Charlotte think his arrival would cause this flurry of excitement. Certainly Mr. Taylor’s visits were now a commonplace enough occurrence that Alison would have no need to come running to tell Charlotte that he had arrived.

“Mr. Parker!” Alison responded, grabbing Charlotte’s hand and beginning to tug her inside. “You must come at once!”

“Mr. Tom?” Charlotte began to worry that Tom would only have made the journey if something had befallen Mary or one of the children. “Did he say why he has arrived so suddenly?” Her mind darted from possibility to possibility, each worse than the last.

“No, not Mr. Tom, you ninny,” Alison said in exasperation, still trying to pull her sister towards the house. “Mr. _Sidney_ Parker has come.” Charlotte froze, rooted to the ground, and not all of Alison’s tugs were able to budge her. “Come _on,_ Charlotte. He is waiting in the parlour!”

“Are you certain?” Charlotte could barely find her voice, overcome by confusion. “You are surely mistaken. Why would he come?” She was unable to stop the hope that had blossomed the moment Alison had uttered his name, yet fearing that there must be some other reason why Sidney would have come to Willingden.

“I am not mistaken,” Alison insisted. “He introduced himself to Papa and Mamma as Mr. Sidney Parker, and Mamma sent me to fetch you. I heard it all myself. If you need further proof, I suggest you go into the parlour and see for yourself.”

Charlotte let her sister bring her inside, but paused again outside the parlour door. She looked down at her brown day dress, and then up at her sister in alarm. Her hands flew to her hair, which had been blowing in the winter breeze. “I cannot go see him now,” she whispered frantically. “I must look a fright! Can you stall for me, Alison? Five minutes, that is all. I will be quick.”

“You look fine,” Alison said, using her fingers to comb through Charlotte’s hair and give it some semblance of order. “Your cheeks are rosy, your eyes are bright, and I would be very surprised if he even notices what you wear. Now go!” Alison opened the door of the parlour, and gave Charlotte a nudge. Charlotte turned to glare at her, before squaring her shoulders and entering into the parlour, her eyes on the tall figure seated next to her mother by the fireplace.

It was unmistakably Sidney Parker. Charlotte had not quite let go of her doubt that Alison had perhaps misheard, and that a different Parker brother would be found in the room. There was no mistaking him, however. She heard his voice, saw his profile, his smile as he spoke politely with her mother. His eyes kept flicking towards the door, and he rose from his chair the moment he noticed Charlotte enter the room.

“Good day, Miss Heywood,” Sidney said, his eyes locked on Charlotte’s and he bowed. “I hope you will forgive my unexpected appearance. I was just apologizing to Mrs. Heywood for giving no notice of my coming.” Despite his polished manners, Charlotte could instantly discern that Mr. Parker was not at ease, and this heightened her conviction that he must be there to share news of some misfortune.

“As I said, there is no need for apologies, Mr. Parker,” Mrs. Heywood graciously responded. “We are rather secluded here at Willingden, you know, and unexpected visitors provide both news and entertainment. I am sure you have done us, and the entire neighbourhood, a service by not sending notice.” Charlotte was unable to say anything, still rather flummoxed at the sight of Sidney Parker standing in her family home. She did not know how to look or what to feel. Sidney’s eye, still locked on hers, were bright and intense, and she felt she could not breathe for all the emotions she read in them.

“Charlotte, have you nothing to say to Mr. Parker?” Mr. Heywood’s voice cut through Charlotte’s paralysis, and she flushed to have been caught staring at Sidney so openly.

“Of course, I…sorry…good day, Mr. Parker,” Charlotte stammered, feeling more foolish by the moment. “I hope you have left Miss Parker and Mr. Arthur well? And Miss Lambe?”

“Yes, yes, they are all very well, and desired me to send you their love,” Sidney replied. Charlotte was not sure if she had imagined the slightest emphasis on his final word. “I fear I have surprised you too much with my sudden arrival, Miss Heywood. I hope you are not displeased with me.” He could not tear his eyes away from her, and was uncomfortably aware that they had an audience.

“Yes…I mean, no, I am not at all displeased. But I am surprised,” Charlotte owned, trying to gather her wits about her. If her friends in London were all well, then he had not come to share bad news concerning them. But what other reason could he have to come seek her out in this manner? “I assume you must be heading towards a different destination, and have decided to stop in Willingden along the way?”

“As a matter of fact, Willingden is my only destination. I left London this morning,” he replied.

“You must have started your trip early, Mr. Parker,” Mr. Heywood said. “Pray, what brings you to come to so remote a place on a blustery winter day?”

“I had hoped for an audience with Miss Heywood, sir,” Sidney said frankly. “If she will hear me, of course.” There was an immediate silence, as Mr. Heywood looked to his wife, and Mrs. Heywood looked to their daughter. Everything she needed to know was written on Charlotte’s face.

“You must have had a cold journey, Mr. Parker, and would be the better for some refreshment. I will go see to it, while you speak with Charlotte. Mr. Heywood, I believe that the lads had been wanting to speak with you this morning about some matter concerning the horses?” Mrs. Heywood rose, and signaled to Mr. Heywood to accompany her from the room.

“What? Yes, yes, quite right, Mrs. Heywood. The horses. Rather urgent, that, so I will go see to it directly.” He offered his wife his arm, and the two left the parlour, Mrs. Heywood gently closing the door behind them. Charlotte watched her parents leave, bemused, and then turned back to Sidney.

Within moments of the door closing, Sidney crossed the room to her. “Miss Heywood…” he began, but stopped, suddenly unable to find the words he had rehearsed during the carriage ride. He tried again. “I hardly know where to begin.” She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off. “I would have come yesterday, but Georgiana advised against it.”

“Yesterday? Georgiana? Mr. Parker, I do not understand. Has something happened?” Her earlier fear that some other misfortune had befallen her friends returned, and she searched his countenance for some clue as to why he had come. “Tom? Mary and the children? Are they alright?”

“I am such a fool- I have frightened you. They are all fine!” Sidney reassured her. “My reason for coming has nothing to do with any of my family or our mutual friends. I have come because, quite simply, I could not stay away.”

“Mr. Parker…” Charlotte warned, taking a step back from him.

“You promised you would listen to me, Charlotte,” he said urgently, stepping closer to her again. “Would you renege on your word?”

“I said I would listen if you were at liberty!” she cried. “Unless that has changed, you should not be here!”

“Of course it has changed!” he retorted. “Why else would I have come?” Charlotte opened her mouth to snap back at him, paused as his meaning sunk in, and closed her mouth. She blinked at him once, twice, and said nothing. He took her hand, and drew her closer to him. “I am not engaged, Charlotte,” he said, his voice gentle, “though I sincerely hope that will change within the next five minutes.”

“I do not understand,” Charlotte said again, though she did not attempt to move away from him. “What are you saying?”

“I have made rather a mess of this, haven’t I?” Sidney replied, with a self-deprecating smile. “Mrs. Campion is to marry Lord Hampton in a matter of weeks. She has released me from my obligation to her.”

“You are free?” she whispered, her expressive eyes showing a glimmer of tears of relief.

“I am free,” he confirmed. “I am free, and I am yours, if you will have me. Charlotte, please tell me that I am not too late, and that you will do me the honour of becoming my wife.”

“Yes,” Charlotte replied, laughing through her tears. “You know my answer is yes.” After a few minutes of reaffirming their love for one another, Charlotte began to regain her capacity for rational thought, and asked Sidney to account for this remarkable change in his circumstances.

“I hardly know how to explain it,” Sidney said, showing Charlotte the letter he had received from Eliza. “Not the day prior, she had been energetically describing the flower arrangements, and then suddenly I am told that she will be marrying someone else.”

“And is it certain, absolutely certain, that she has released you?” Charlotte asked. After all that she and Sidney had gone through to get to this point, Charlotte was unwilling to leave any part to chance.

“Quite certain. I paid a call on her yesterday immediately after receiving her note,” Sidney explained, and then went on to describe his final interview with Mrs. Campion. “It was quite an awkward scene, to tell the truth. What is the proper etiquette when thanking a lady for coming to her senses and sparing you both from the misery of an unsuitable marriage?”

“What did she say to you? How did she look?”

“She looked bored, if anything. She did not say much, and the conversation was not a long one. She said that she had come to realize that she would be happier with a different sort of man, just as she assumed that I preferred a very different sort of woman. I think she must have been alluding to you. I did not ask her how long she had been considering ending the engagement. I only wished to confirm that it was, in fact, dissolved.”

“Then you had no prior indication that she was considering Lord Hampton?” Charlotte asked.

“None whatsoever. They had a bit of a flirtation, but that is too common in London society for me to have been rendered suspicious on that basis alone. I would certainly never have assumed that he would have the presumption to make an offer to an engaged woman. Arthur, of all people, has reminded me that Eliza’s behaviour should not have come as a surprise. This is, after all, the second time she has tossed me aside in favour of a more advantageous fiancé.”

Charlotte, for her part, shared with him the plan devised by Lady Susan, and aided by Lady Babington, and Sidney expressed his deep admiration for the cleverness of both women. He was quick to agree with their assessment of Eliza’s character, and perfectly willing to give them as much of the credit for his present happiness as they could have wished. His only regret, he acknowledged, was that their plan had not moved along more quickly.

When Mrs. Heywood returned to the parlour some fifteen minutes later- having found numerous reasons why the refreshments could not possibly have been brought even a moment sooner- she did not comment on how closely Mr. Parker was seated next to her daughter, or that his hand seemed to be holding hers, before Mr. Parker rose. As fluently as he could manage, he expressed his intentions towards Miss Heywood, and asked for directions to where he might find Mr. Heywood. Mrs. Heywood waved him back towards his seat, and handed him a plate of sandwiches.

“There is no urgency in seeking out Mr. Heywood,” she explained, taking a seat herself. “For one, he will be along directly. And surely it will not surprise you, Mr. Parker, to learn that in this house it is the opinion of the Heywood _women_ that you need contend with first.”

“Mamma!” Charlotte cried, flushing, while Sidney gave her a sly smile.

“They say the apple does not fall far from the tree, Mrs. Heywood,” he replied.

“Indeed, it does not, Mr. Parker. Luckily for you, I have already decided in your favour.”

When Mr. Heywood joined them in the parlour, he made no difficulty over giving his consent, and the gentleman agreed to discuss the terms of the engagement the following day. It was fixed that Mr. Parker would remain at Willingden for at least three days, to further his acquaintance with the rest of the family, and to enjoy Charlotte’s company. They were three days of peaceful bliss for both Charlotte Sidney, utterly free from the strain and suffering that each had experienced over the past several months. They met at breakfast each morning, and scarcely spent a moment apart until it was time to retire for the night, and every interaction and circumstance from the entire course of their relationship was given ample time to be discussed and dissected again and again.

“It occurs to me, Charlotte,” Sidney began during one of their walks in the garden, “that I still have never answered your question.”

“My question?” Charlotte repeated, mystified.

“Yes, the one you asked me months ago, at the regatta. It was after my stupid remark about Heraclitus. You must remember,” he replied. “You asked me what it is that I want from you. I was too slow to respond to you at the time, and have never since told you my answer.”

“I remember now. You stood gaping at me, like a very handsome fish,” she playfully remarked. “It was rather bold of me to pose such a question. But I think you like my boldness, so I will ask you again. What is it you want from me, Mr. Parker?

“Everything,” he replied simply. He stopped walking, and took her hand, raising it to his lips. “I want a home, a family, a life with you beside me.”

“Sidney…” she said softly, overcome with emotion, but he was not finished.

“I think that moment was when I first began to know myself,” he told her, lowering her hand, but retaining it in his grasp. “The look in your eyes, when you asked me if you were only a jest to me…it struck me like a dagger. I could hardly speak, from the sudden knowledge that you were more to me than any other woman I knew. And just as I was beginning to realize that I loved you, you were demanding that I leave you alone and running away from me. I felt a proper idiot, I assure you.”

“I thought you were toying with me,” Charlotte explained. “I had already begun to love you, you see, and then you showed up at the regatta with Mrs. Campion. I knew I could not compete with her, given your history.”

“How wrong you were, my Charlotte. You had already won, only I was too caught up in my own past to see it. I do not think there was ever any competition. I had long stopped loving Eliza, even before returning to England, and it had already been many weeks since you were the only woman I thought of. At first I thought it was because I found you infuriating, but in truth I think I was captivated by you from the very start.”

Charlotte shook her head at that, smiling as she reminded him, “You thought me a silly, frivolous henwit at the very start, and you know it. You cannot expect me to believe that you secretly liked me when we first met.”

“It would be more accurate to say that I refused to like you,” Sidney confessed. “And yet, I could not walk down the street without looking around first to see if you were nearby. I told myself that it was so that I could avoid you, but the truth is, Charlotte, that I devoted more time to thinking about you than I ever would have admitted.”

“You certainly hid it well! You told me that you did not think of me at all, and that you did not care what I think or how I felt.”

Sidney winced at the recollection. “I wish you had not such a fine memory for the very many boorish things I said to you. I much prefer when you quote Heraclitus.”

“I believe it is a wife’s obligation to remember every foolish mistake her husband makes, and to remind him of them as often as it suits her,” Charlotte replied, rising to playfulness again. “And in return, you shall forget all of the horrible assumptions that I made about you, and only offer words of praise and love.”

“I can see that you wish to build a true Heywood home, my love. I think I am doomed…and grateful to be so.”

“And where shall we build this home, Sidney? We can hardly fit eleven children into a London house.”

Sidney looked down at her in alarm, but caught the teasing gleam in her eye, and laughed. He had laughed more in the past few days that he had recalled doing in years. “To be honest, my love, I do not see us living in London. I had been thinking that perhaps you would wish to live in Sanditon?” Charlotte’s expression gave him all the answer he needed, and they resumed their walk, contentedly making plans for their very happy future.

* * *

The news of their engagement did not long stay confined to Willingden. Charlotte wrote joyful letters to Lady Susan and Lady Babington, and Sidney wrote to Tom and Mary, but they could not agree on who would have the privilege of informing Georgiana. They finally decided to share the office, with Sidney telling her in person while also handing her Charlotte’s written account of the matter. Not many days after Sidney’s return to London, Charlotte received a letter from Mary. Three pages were insufficient to contain her delight at the news, and she had included notes of congratulations from Alicia and Jenny to ‘Aunt Charlotte’. Tom could find no better way to show his joy than to send Charlotte a large jar of anchovy paste, tied up with a large red ribbon. 

As soon as the banns could be read, Charlotte and Sidney were married in Willingden parish, surrounded by their family and closest friends. The good people of the neighbourhood were finally able to leave off discussing Mr. Tom Parker’s overturned carriage, and instead spent the next year sharing recollections of the finery worn by the ladies Babington and Worcester. Mr. Taylor performed the ceremony admirably, and if he suspected that one of the groom’s close friends was rather inebriated for that early in the day, he was willing to overlook it.

True to their plans, Charlotte and Sidney chose to settle in Sanditon after they were married. They did not live in the town itself, but built a proper manor house on the outskirts. Georgiana was persuaded to come live with them, so that she could both be part of their family and remain involved in her investment. Charlotte resumed her role helping Tom manage his affairs, and with the involvement of the two ladies, Sanditon soon flourished and gained a reputation as a fashionable seaside resort. Many a young person came to Sanditon in search of adventure. To Lady Denham’s dismay, none ever came for the asses milk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your encouragement and support! This has been such a wonderful new experience for me. I have been an avid Jane Austen fan for most of my life, and this story has been my way of showing tribute. My goal was to create a plausible plot for Season 2 of Sanditon, written as authentically Austen-esque as I could manage. Thank you for coming on this journey with me!


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